Home + TCGOB NASCAR! + Photo Garage + Links + Mad Mad Automotive World + Driving Songs + Humor Pages + Reader's Rides+ All About TCGOB + Contact Us
Humor by Steve Wingate
Also Check Out:
WARNING: Some of these links may contain HIGHLY offensive material, so use them at your own risk.
2003 Car Guy of Benchfield
This page now lives here:


Humor Pages
TCGOB's Humor Pages. Humor Pages features articles by self-proclaimed humorist Steve Wingate and various other silly stuff.
From The Inbox
Don't you hate it when people you barely know forward all kinds of stupid crap to your email account?  So do we, but we have to admit that every once in a while, we do get something worth printing.  So here goes.... enjoy!


A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

A backward poet writes inverse.

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought
she'd dye.

Recent Articles

The Beast Awakens: by Steve Wingate.  Automotive fumbling at it's very best.  Originally appeared on musclecarcalendar.com

Senior Burn Out Day: by Steve Wingate.  Just a little stroll down amnesia lane.  Originally appeared on musclecarcalendar.com

Holiday Shoppers Are Whacked! by Steve Wingate.  A slight re-hash of a story that has appeared here before. read more

Virginia The T-Devil by Steve Wingate.  ...It is usually during this time that she plays her favorite game called "Guess What I'm Destroying Now".  It is a complex guessing game where she brings us objects (or pieces of objects) and we have to guess what she's shredding... read more

May The Card Be With You by Steve Wingate.  Hey everybody!  Let's go into debt with Darth and yank the plug on our credit with Yoda! read more

The REAL Car Guys by Steve Wingate.  I've gained a new respect for all those guys behind the scenes of NASCAR since I myself started trying to do a little bit of what they do…. Namely, understand cars.  I bought a 1984 Trans Am and a Haynes Repair Manual six months ago in hopes of becoming a real car guy, not just someone who sits at a computer and writes about them. more...
Passport To Terror by Steve Wingate.  I'm afraid of our car.  Really, I'm terrified of it.  It's never given me a reason, it's just a feeling I have.  Very probably an irrational feeling on my part, but it still vexes my every waking moment.  more...