HIGHLY CLASSIFIED MATERIAL SUPER TOP SECRET

The following communiqués have been found on a e-mail list called Sibernet-L. Evidence of massive conspiracy among creatures purported to be Siberian Huskies. This could be the advance wave of alien invaders we have been anticipating since the Roswell Incident. Important to keep 24-hour surveillance on these creatures and to monitor Internet traffic for further communications. The President and top Pentagon officials have been notified and are discussing countermeasures. Text of intercepted messages follow:

Our glorious leader, Colonel Taz

Photo courtesy Scott Ringwelski

Visit the Colonel's website.

A Christmas Message from the Colonel

Subject: Col. Taz: OPERATION SANTA ORDERS Date: Friday, December 19, 1997 10:02 AM

Subject: OPERATION ORDER 12-97

OPERATION ORDER 12-97 FOR: OFFICIAL VISIT OF LTG SANTA CLAUS

1. An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at this post on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all Military personnel during the visit.

a. Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-1. Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.

b. All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the "season of giving."

c. Personnel will utilize standard "T" ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. Sugar plums are available in "T" ration sundry packs and should be eaten with egg loaf, chopped ham, and spice cake to ensure maximum visions are experienced.

d. Stockings, Wool, Cushion Sole, will be hung by the chimneys with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires caused by carelessly hung stockings. 1SG's will submit stocking handling plans to S-3, Training prior to 0800 hours, 24 Dec. All leaders will ensure their subordinate personnel are briefed on the safety aspects of stocking hanging.

e. At first of clatter, all personnel will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate the cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw up the window sashes. On order OPLAN 7-97 (North Pole), para 6-8 (c)(3), dated 4 March, this office, takes effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. SDO and all CQs will be familiar with procedures and are responsible for seeing that no shutters are torn or sashes thrown in Bldg 9828 prior to the start of official clatter.

f. Prior to 0001, date of visit, all personnel possessing Standard Target Aquisition and Night Observation (STANO) equipment will be assigned "wandering eyeball" stations. The SDNCO will ensure that these stations are adequately manned even after shutters are torn and sashes are thrown.

g. The Battalion S-4, in coordination with the National Security Agency and the Motor Pool will assign on each Sliegh, Miniature, M-24 and eight reindeer, tiny, for use by LTG Claus. The assigned driver must have a current sleigh operators license with roof top permit and evidence of attendance at the winter driving class stamped on his DA Form 348. Driver must also be able to clearly shout "On Dancer, On Prancer, etc."

2. LTG Claus will initially enter Bldg 9828 through the dayroom. All offices without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M6A2 for use during the visit. Draw chimney simulator on DA Form 2765-1 which will be submitted in four copies to the S-4 prior to 23 Dec. Personnel will ensure that chimneys are properly cleaned before turn-in at the conclusion of visit.

3. Personnel will be rehearsed in the shouting of "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" or "Merry Christmas To All and To All a Good Night." This shout will be given upon termination of the visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of each section NCOIC.

FOR THE COMMANDER GOODE, U. B. LTC, OD Executive Officer

reply:

Sir,

I have been informed that all contractors will be out on the scheduled visit date. Those working for Marley & Scrooge, Inc., will be at their corporate headquarters doing accounting & maintenance work, while the rest have been given approved leave for some religious holiday thing. Therefore, we may not be at full operational readiness during the general's visit.

LT Staffer

ATTENTION! AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT COL. TAZ

"A Leader is a dealer in Hope." – Napoleon Bonaparte (one of Col. Taz’s most revered strategists)

From the desk of Staff Sgt. Ninja (attached to Col. Taz battalion)

In recent days Col. Taz has been viewed as potentially responsible for numerous problems all over the world. Everything from overweight, bulimic dogs in Australia to crushed kitties in Alaska. From extravagant purchases of 4 wheel drive vehicles and motor homes across America to massive aluminum foil shortages in various regions of the globe. The good colonel brushes these items aside. They are part and parcel of the price one pays for leadership and greatness in the world.

However, Col. Taz has recently had aspersions and doubt cast on his rank, having attained it at the young age of 2 years. Questions about his military and combat record have surfaced. To clear the air of these charges, I write to list the military record of this remarkable sibe.

Born to the service as a pup private, Taz was tapped into early by husky command as a clever individual. His initial assignments though classified top secret earned him rapid promotion and a bevy of citations and awards. Col. Taz was on the top secret Walter Kendell Five committee with Dr. Ross, the very same group who experimented and developed the foil beanie. He has been on numerous missions. On a stealth mission in Orange County, the then captain Taz was betrayed by his owner, who having lost his beanie, surrendered the sibe to the pound.

In combat, as a Major, Taz faced 40 heavily armoured ticks and a battalion of fleas and mites, fighting tooth and nail, literally. Clawing and scratching his way along through that battle. After capture and incarceration by humans, the Major withstood additional torture at the hands of these vile insects while humans held him behind bars. He never cracked. When released, all they ever got out of him was his name…TAZ! A field commission to Colonel brought him to his present rank.

While in prison, the colonel wasted no time in gathering both information and gaining recruits for the cause! The colonel speaks a variety of breed languages, able to communicate with dogs of all sizes and backgrounds. Pekinese, Afghan, German Shep, Norwegian Elkhound, Portuguese Waterdog, Newfoundland, Russian Wolfhound and even Welsh Corgi. Thus, although seemingly out of the picture, Taz was laying the groundwork for our amazingly successful takeover. After attaining his freedom, he combined with successful human urban pioneers Robbi and Scott and learned first hand the various stealth and engagement skills that have served him so well. He has actually been on two individual reconnaissance missions while on assignment in Southern California.

Along the way, of course, there has been a bevy of awards, medals and honors gained for meritorious service. Among the highest citations:

The Ken- L -Ration Gold Bisquit with Diamond Kibble Clusters for bravery and honor in the face of insurmountable odds.

The Iron Akita Award for command decisions that have turned the tide of the conflict and enticed humans to wear foil beanies.

The Golden Kong with oak leaf clusters for stealth and cleverness in getting Scott and Robbi, two long time husky people, to rescue him from the pound and teach him Downtown style, urban guerrilla tactics that he now advocates worldwide.

Eukanuba Purple Heart For wounds and loss of blood to ticks and fleas while on missions.

The Skippy bravery and discovery award. For his expose’ on the Roswell Alien Huskies and scientific work with foil beanies – with special citation for the new "husky ears" design.

Meow Mix Non-Malicousness Medal This is the feline equivalent to the Nobel Peace Prize. Widely renown as the "Friskies" award. It seems totally incongruous for a wardog like the colonel to win such an award. However, his recent triumphs in cat/canine contact have been so excellent, that the feline community decorated him with this prestigious award. Only four other canines in history have received this distinguished and illustrious award. They are: Rin Tin Tin, Yukon King (Sgt. Preston’s dog), Pluto (Mickey’s dog), and, of course, Lassie.

I must close for now, as I hear the rumble and clatter of the shopping cart truck in the alley. It’s my delight to insure it continues with haste and does not loiter near the yard. The Colonel’s future plans will be discussed in the next posting.

Regards,

Sgt. Ninja

All Horde Members

The Husky Horde at Husky Howllow endorses Col. Taz without question. His record speaks for itself!!!. Anyone who would question his loyalty and integrity is barking up the wrong tree, or has been over dosing on cat poop.

We believe there is a modicum of jealousy in the ranks: IT MUST BE ROOTED OUT!! The Horde must remain united in purpose and dedication. ONWARD YOU HUSKIES (AND WANNA BE'S) ONWARD!!!! VICTORY IS IN SIGHT.

Col Daytro Gen Bailey Flt Com. Santana Rear Admiral Kiowa

Northern Force -- ~ May The Spirit of The Husky Be With You Always ~ Kirby & Ron - (15 Minutes East of Winnipeg, Canada) Home of the Singing Beasties of Husky Howllow http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/2662 O.T.Ch. Bailey, TT, CGC - Daytro CD, CGC - Siberian Huskies Santana, TT - Alaskan Husky and Kiowa, TT - Mostly Samoyed (and the four kitty cats - Casper, Smudge, Trum and Rusti) * * The Humans' Email Address: siberian@mb.sympatico.ca * * * * The Hordes' Email Address: dogsrule@mindless.com * *

FROM: COL. TAZ —code name: Ice Blue

TO: THE ASSEMBLED HUSKY HORDE

MY FELLOW SIBES,

RECENTLY, DUE TO POSSIBLE LEAKS IN OUR SECURITY, I HAVE CURTAILED MUCH OF MY COMMUNICATIONS TO THE TROOPS. BUT THE TIME HAS COME TO CONGRATULATE YOU ALL ON A MISSION WELL DONE AND TO URGE YOU ON TO GREATER GLORY!

NOT ONLY HAVE YOU MUSTERED MINIONS OF NEW RECRUITS TO THE CAUSE, BUT YOU HAVE VENTURED FAR BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY. OWNERS WHO PREVIOUSLY PLEDGED NEVER TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE HUSKY ARE AVIDLY SEARCHING POUNDS AND SHELTERS TO FREE OUR COMRADES. HUMANS WHO LIVE WITH ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSE NOW CHOOSE HUGE FOUR WHEEL DRIVE VEHICLES BASED SOLELY ON CATERING TO OUR COMFORT (AND EVEN SELECTING COLORS THAT COMPLIMENT OUR FUR). A FEW VERY BRAVE SOULS HAVE EVEN CONVINCED THEIR KEEPERS THAT THE HOUSE NEEDS TO UNDERGO MAJOR EXPANSION JUST FOR US AND MORE OF US AND OUR CHILDREN. TRULY, WITHOUT FIRING A SHOT OR EVEN BITING ANYONE, WE HAVE ACHIEVED A TREMENDOUS VICTORY!! GIVE YOURSELF A HOWL OF APPRECIATION!!

FINALLY, ALTHOUGH OUR GOAL IS WITHIN REACH, IT STILL BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES WHEN I RECEIVE MESSAGES LIKE THE ONE BELOW! TO KNOW THAT OUR YOUTH ARE SO EAGER TO FOLLOW IN OUR PAWPRINTS GIVES ME COMFORT THAT HUSKIES WILL RULE FOR MANY GENERATIONS TO COME!

SO, IN CONCLUSION, KEEP YOUR HUMANS WEARING THEIR FOIL BEANIES, INSIST ON YOUR PRIMACY IN THE FAMILY PACK, AND NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE NOT JUST DOGS —YOU ARE HUSKIES!!!