What if men were in charge of weddings?
There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner/Kegger" Party.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops with more skin showing than not.
Tuxes would have team logos on the back and their Nike shoes would have matching team colors.
Winter weddings would be scheduled around the Superbowl..
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other
vehicle with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."
There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
Favors would be free drink passes at the local bar.
The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her ass.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a buckets of fried chicken, pizza and plenty of
They would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or something.
Invitations would read as follows...
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain ... He's getting married.
A) knocked her up,
B) couldn't get a different roommate, or
C) caved in to her ultimatum.