My story- The tale of a SoT hater
My Story
Ah, my dark and twisted tale, of how I turned to the dark side of the force and began to hate the Sword of Truth. This story should serve as a warning to all, because if you're not careful...the same thing might happen to YOU!!
Summer, 1996. Wild nights, hot and crazy days as the Judas Priest song goes. In between all of the normal summer activities of a high school lad, I had picked up "Wizard's First Rule" on the recommendation of a friend. "This is the best fantasy I've read dude! (dude?) seriously." Well, I was intrigued. This guy had read enough fantasy to be credible. I picked up WFR along with a totally random book I hadn't even heard of, "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb, because I liked the cover. And like a happy little girl I skipped home to start reading WFR.
It really didn't start off that bad. In fact, I was intrigued by the opening chapter. Guy's father dies, gets bitten by a plant. Okay. The end of chapter 3 found me a little skeptical. Guy's brother is all groping his brother's friend right in front of his face, and he sits there going "duh, it's between them, he's grabbing her ass because he's jealous." A little contrived, because if I know brothers at all, that would be an invitation for someone to get their ass body-slammed. It was obvious that Terry Goodkind was trying to do....well, something there, and it was then that I realized he was one of "those" authors, the type that lay on the psuedo-philosophy lessons hot and heavy, and not very well.
My worst fears were confirmed with the scene in which Zedd makes the unruly mob's genitals "dissappear". A good trick is just like magic, eh? I don't mind to sound blunt, but I and every other guy I know, would realize if their penis had vanished. Sorry to be blunt, but there ya go. Terry's attempt to teach me a lesson about life failed, and I had lost a lot of respect for him from that point on.
It went from bad to simply weird and disturbing. Hmm...one of the bad guy's henchmen likes molesting boys. Gee, that's not manipulating the reader's emotions now is it? Kahlan's "I want to sleep with Richard, but my power! Screw it I'm gonna bang him!" And Richard's timely question, "what's your secret?" For all you know my good man, she's got some sort of disease. The "torture" scenes....I've discussed this in my bashing section. And then the ending...."I will fool you with my superior logic and my use of the wizard's first rule ha!" Came together real neat at the end, the way a good comic book does you know?
Book 2 was Terry Goodkind meets Robert Jordan. At this point I was just emabarrassed for him, for myself being seen in public with this book, for everybody that told me this was the greatest author of our time. And yet I kept reading, kind of like someone wanting a peek at a nasty auto accident, see how bad it could get. Then he started trying his social commentary, his attempt at commenting on modern life. If only the nations would unite! Why can't they trust each other? Terry make up your mind, are you writing bad genre fantasy or a political commentary?
Well, needless to say there were some awkward moments between my and my friend who recommended it as the next big thing. I would almost go so far to say that WFR ruined my summer, but then there was that obscure book by Robin Hobb I picked up...
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