Right then.  Where do I begin.  Well they day the beginning is a very good place to start to here we go.  I first noticed I was different from the other children my own age around the age of five.  All the boys enjoyed the rough and tumble games infant boys usually do.  All accept me.  In the playground,  you could find me sat with the girls instead of jumping and leaping around.
However the first time I knew that society had a problem with who I was, was about the same time.  I was in my first year in school at the age for five and not many months.  A friend of mine by the name of Jennifer and I had been praised for a painting we had made for art class.  Our reward was to be allowed to go and play dress up in the "Wendy house".
Innocently I reached inside the dress up trunk and took out the most disgusting green dress you could ever imagine,  pulled it on and began to play Mummy's and Daddies,  with me being Mum.  This was to be a short lived game as the class teacher had seen me and was furious.  I was marched off to the head Nun's office where I was told that it was wrong to wear girls cloths and if I did it again God wouldn't love me anymore and I would never get into heaven.
That was the beginning of my Tran gendered life and 21 years on I can still remember the day as if it was yesterday.  After that episode I went through all the normal TG routines of secretly wearing my Mums cloths when ever the house was empty,  Hiding my dark and dirty secrete from the rest of the world for fear of ridicule.  Now things have changed.  
Last year I told my Fiancée that I was a Transvestite (I hate that word.  It makes people sound like weirdo's).  This was almost the truth.  I did have an affinity to look like a woman.  She was very supportive and to this day still is.  Sadly we are no longer is a soon to be married relationship,  the reason being is that I have decided to stop lying to myself.  I've spent the last many many years trying to be something I am not and I haven't been doing a very good job at it either.  Looking like a woman has only part of the reason for my being gifted with a duel gender.
I say that having a duel gender is a gift.  Not for me it has been a painful burden to carry all my life and it wasn't until around a week ago that I became true to myself and to the people I care about.  This didn't come without a price.  Now my parents wont speak to me and my lover is the best friend anyone could ever have.  Admitting that I was a transsexual,  a woman's soul trapped in a body which is wrong .  was the hardest thing I have ever had to do both for me and for the people around me as it has caused them such heartache and pain.
But as my now ex-partner said to me.  "You haven't done anything wrong,  you were just born the wrong sex."  Now I have to leave my old life behind and begin a new.  Walking away from everything that is male about me .  The road will be long and the terrain will be tough but I must be who I am.  I have my first appointment with a doctor in three days time to try and be prescribed hormone treatment.  Watch this space.  I will be updating my life frequently on the thoughts page so don't forget to have A look at what's been happening to me recently
Well Its been a month now and my own life is being truely lived.  Im facing the world on my own for the first time in a long time.  I say alone.  I dont realy mean it.  I have my friends,  my wonderfull friends.  I realy wouldnt know what to do without them.  Apart from being unhappy every day.  That however is not the point.  Still no news about the hormones but I knew that it was going to take much longer than a month to hear anything.  Try maybe 7 or 8 months before Im assessed.  That is all bye the bye.  Although Im impatient by nature.  I have all the time in the world at the moment which is probably a good thing as things might just take that long to get rowling.  Keep watching this space to find out what happens to me in the mean time.  for more or a daily update on my life,  visit my thoughts page.