My mother, who had been in a nursing home during her final days, had been getting more and more incoherent due to her Dementia. She was also beginning to have trouble breathing. She'd begun to be unable to recognize all of my family, except my brother, both in pictures and in person. Basically, she was getting worse.
One night while trying to fall asleep, I happened to notice that the corner of my room suddenly seemed to glow. I sat up in my bed and looked towards the source of the light. I saw what appeared to be a beautiful white, cloudy image of my mother, smiling. She seemed to be happy as she waved to me. A moment later the vision of her was completely gone.
(When I think back on that moment, I can remember how calm I'd felt when I lifted my arm to wave back at her.)
As I was about to drift off to sleep again with thoughts of what had just happened to me, I received that feared phone-call-in-the-middle-of-the-night from the hospital nearest my mother's nursing home. I was told that my mother had been having a lot of trouble breathing and had been taken their by ambulance. The voice on the other end of the line told me that I should get their, immediately.
I arrived at the hospital fifteen minutes sooner than I normally would have, but I was still 10 minutes too late...my mother had already passed away while I was en route. And I never even knew it. Not a feeling...not a hint...nothing.
I could only stand there in her darkened hospital room stroking her still warm hand and crying my silent thoughts and prayers to her. I never wanted to leave her side again. "I should have been here," I scolded myself. "I should have been here."
That is why this web site and message board was created. To help others to rid themselves of some of their anxieties by going to the UPWARD MESSAGE! message board and writing down what they would have said to their loved ones had they been there during those final moments.
UPWARD MESSAGES! |
