Chalky, Dufus, Shirt and Lupine

...FESTI-VAL !!!!



Two years after the Celebration, a three-day DW Festival was to be held at London’s Access Centre. Chalky and Shirt were early confirmations. However, Enigma and Scooby cried off (some rubbish about a honeymoon !), but Lupine was also a definite, and even Dufus decided to come down for the festivities (marking the first DW event that the central triumvirate had attended together for ten years). The buying of tickets was split – Shirt buying entry tickets and Dufus booking photo-shoot tickets. In undertaking the latter, Dufus got over-excited, booking tickets for both Peter Capaldi AND Ingrid Oliver, rather than Peter Capaldi OR Ingrid Oliver (according to demand), and had got tickets for Lupine who had previously stated he could not afford them. He also bought a Michelle Gomez photo-shoot at the same time as the Ingrid one. Chalky and Shirt were prepared to ‘hang the expense’, but in the run-up to the event, Shirt managed to help Dufus sell on the Peter ticket on, as this was the only shoot that had sold out.


Having spent the previous day meeting the Tracy brothers (see D&S...Hammer Some Angels), Dufus and Shirt made their way to Waterloo and the meeting-point identified by Shirt. Chalky joined them at the agreed time (chosen as Shirt was not convinced that they would be able to push their way onto the first DLR train), and a Facebook message from Lupine, indicated that he was one stop away. The others therefore moved to the escalators that he would be coming up to meet him.

Making their way to the Jubilee Line, via a detour to a Sainsbury’s Local for Lupine to buy breakfast and lunch, and Chalky and Dufus to get drinks, they glided their way to Canning Town station, finding the appropriate DLR platform with minimum of wrong turns.

The DLR when it arrived was almost empty, and on the five minute journey, Chalky spent the time, pretending to be squashed in, as Shirt had predicted would happen.

Alighting at Prince Regent, and ‘tapping out’, they made their way into the Access Centre, following the signs to the registration hall. This had a very short queue, which they joined, Shirt handing out the printed tickets.

Tickets scanned, they were all given their lanyards, a show planner, and a cardboard ‘The Magician’s Apprentice’ script page. Directed towards the theatre where the panels were taking place, they passed a kiosk selling Festival Handbooks. Chalky and Shirt each purchased one, paying by card as cash was not being accepted. However, when Dufus asked for one, it was revealed that Shirt had taken the last one of his stock, and would have to buy one from the main concourse later.


Entering the theatre space, they found a row of seats towards the back (due to wishing to make a quick exit at the end to get to their Capaldi photo-shoots). There was great excitement when Nicholas ‘Voice of the Daleks’ Briggs sat down in the row directly in front of them with his wife and child.

I could have brought ‘Light at the End’ for his son to sign”, grumbled Shirt.

Talking about plans for the day, it seemed that Lupine had had a change of heart and wanted to partake in photo-shoots. The Capaldi ticket now gone, he would have to make do with the lovely Ms. Oliver alone.

The lights went down and Mark Gatiss and Kate Walshe (from Millennium FX) took to the stage to discuss the process of getting a monster from the script to the screen, whilst members of Kate’s team, designed monsters live from a brief provided by Mark. There were also some ‘unscheduled’ appearances from a Mire and a Sandman (from the previous night’s episode), and Kate demonstrated how the Mr. Sweet puppet from ‘The Crimson Horror’ was brought to life.

The stage cleared, and our friends rushed to the exit, with the other three garbling goodbyes to Lupine before dashing up a flight of stairs and an escalator to the third floor.

On arrival, they were directed to stand to the side of a door, and for a brief moment believed that they might be the first in Peter’s queue. However, five minutes later, they were ushered down a corridor to join the back of another, albeit not overly long, queue.


Entering the signing room, on showing their tickets, they were each given a small red rectangle to hand over prior to the photo. The queue snaked across the room, behind barriers, but they were in clear view of the photo area. The session was due to start in ten minutes, and after about that amount of time, Peter entered (to a round of applause from the waiting hordes), and engaged in banter with the crowd.

We’ll do our best to get through you all as quickly as we can. Please don’t feel short-changed if I just say ‘Hello. I Love you. Goodbye !’”, joked Peter to great hilarity from the assembled fans.

Having got his photo taken with priority tickets – those in wheelchairs, on crutches, or with other medical issues – taking time to talk to each one, even signing one boy’s cast, the queue proper began to move. Peter was in fine form, holding children that were passed to him by parents, and making any pose that he was asked to by ticket holders. The majority were having the hand reaching towards the camera pose, a la the Pertwee-esque Twelfth Doctor publicity photos.

As they approached the front of the snaking queue, the three became less sensible middle-aged men, and rather more squeeing fangirls as they awaited their few seconds with the current Doctor.

Dufus and Shirt had pushed Chalky to the front of their group, and so stowing his bag, coat and lanyard on the table provided, he gave his name and red rectangle to the steward at the front of the queue.


This is Chalky !”, announced the steward as Chalky just about managed to walk the five steps to Peter, who shook him warmly by the hand, before they both adopted the hand outstretched pose. Ten seconds later, and the photo had been taken, with Chalky moving off as Shirt was introduced.

Another handshake, another hand outstretched pose, with Shirt initially managing to completely obscure his own face with his hand, and Dufus was replacing Shirt.





Another ten seconds later, and the three were regathering their belongings, and moving into the next room where the photos were being spewed out from a printer. Each photo was placed in a clear plastic bag with a piece of cardboard for strength, and handed to the respective subject. They all managed to side-step the hard-sell for digital copies or other merchandise featuring their image.


Moving down the escalator behind a child dressed as Peter Davison (looking exactly like a TCE’d Fifth Doctor), they made their way back to the main concourse, where Dufus bought a Handbook (and a T-shirt), before they went into the main exhibition hall to find Lupine.

A quick phone call found him to be in the merchandise area next to a LEGO TARDIS (of which more later). Having rejoined him, they found themselves next to the Large Endings area, and so took the opportunity to stock up on titles that they hadn’t got yet. Shirt being reasonably up-to-date and having attended Large Endings Day 7, only wished to buy ‘Jago & Litefoot & Strax’ which was being launched at the Festival, whilst Dufus had a large number of box-sets that he wanted. Seeing the offer of a LE bag if you spent over £50, Dufus gave some of his items to Shirt so that they both crossed the required threshold.

Chalky, however, had already purchased his items, and had gone to get some of them signed by Lisa Bowerman, who was sitting at a small table with Lisa Greenwood (Sixth Doctor audio companion, Flip). Lisa B asked after the other two founder members of the gang. On being told that they were both here, she demanded a photo of the trio, with Dufus and Shirt briefly stopping failing to add up the prices of various LE box-sets to make the magic £50, to pose for a photo taken by professional photographer, Lisa.

Shouldn’t this be the other way round ?”, mused Chalky out loud.




Remind me, what do you call yourselves online”, asked Lisa, seemingly demonstrating a knowledge of these literary accounts.

I’m Chalky, because I’m a teacher, he’s Dufus, because...”, Chalky left the sentence hanging for a few seconds, before adding “And he’s Shirt”.

Shirt felt it necessary to add, “Because I’m never not seen wearing a shirt”.

Dufus and Shirt had finally sorted their items out and had paid for them, joining the queue for Ms. Bowerman behind Chalky.

Seeing Dufus and Shirt’s LE bags, Lisa chided Joseph Smith, LE gopher, for not giving one to Chalky, something that was quickly rectified, seemingly showing that the sign should have read “Spend over £50, or be a friend of Lisa Bowerman”.

Not having anything for Lisa G, Chalky moved off.


Next to meet Ms. B. was Dufus who relied on Lisa to open all his box-sets for him, and sign the ones that she was in.

She then suggested that Dufus get a picture with her, and even encouraged her namesake to be involved.

Photo taken by Shirt, and there was a quick swap with Shirt being the thorn between two roses.





He then proceeded to get a number of covers signed, and then his ‘The Last Adventure’, sympathising with Lisa that her photo was over the join of the page, giving her an unusual look.

Lisa’s in that too”, said Lisa, but Shirt had already got Ms. Greenwood to sign it two months before.

Gathering up his covers, Shirt managed to grab Matt Fitton who giving out copies of the LE Magazine, getting him to sign his two stories for the ‘UNIT: Extinction’ box-set.

Whilst the others waited, Shirt popped over to the MDW stand to get the Limited Festival Edition of the magazine, not being a subscriber like Dufus and Chalky.

Peter Ware served him, so Shirt asked him to sign the cover.

But I’m not the editor, Tom is”, said Peter handing it to his boss, Tom Spilsbury.

You’re the Deputy Editor”, said Shirt, causing Tom to hand it back to Peter after he had signed it. Second signature gained, and Shirt was returning to the others.


Dufus then purchased an Eighth Doctor and Ninth Doctor comic from the Titan Comics stand, and Shirt briefly considered buying a ‘Paint Your Own Dalek’ kit.

Shopping completed (at least for now), a decision was made to visit the ‘Davros’ Sick–room’ set, as although Lupine had already done it, Chalky had seen that there was no queue earlier. However, in the five minutes since then, a queue had built up. Whilst waiting, Chalky, Dufus and Shirt managed to grab SFX supremo, Danny Hargreaves, as he went past, getting him to sign his page of the Handbook, whilst Lupine spoke to another friend. As the friends were entering, they were passed by ‘Real Time’ guest-star, Stewart Lee, who was desperately trying to find the way out for himself and his son. Photos taken of the Dalek creator in the set from the first two Series 9 episodes, trying desperately to get shots not featuring other fans, and they wended their way out.

Lupine suggested that they join the queue for the Series 9 costume exhibition, which they did, and after about ten minutes Lupine was checking out the ‘Magpie Electricals’ amplifier that the Doctor’s guitar was plugged into, whilst Dufus and Shirt worshipped at the altar of Osgood, who had no less than three costumes on display.

Moving on to the Millennium FX area, they managed to get Kate Walshe to sign their Handbooks also.


Looking at the timetable that he had printed off at home, Shirt saw that it was time for the ‘SFX Show’ on Stage 1. They therefore made their way there, spending an enjoyable 45 minutes, whilst Danny Hargreaves showed various raw footage of explosions, demonstrated the rig used for the splitting arrow effect in ‘Robot of Sherwood’, and even made a Cyberman’s chest-plate explode when a girl dressed as Osgood pointed a Sonic Screwdriver at it.

It was then time for the other two shows in the theatre, taking seats that were slightly further back than they would have liked.

The first session was ‘Meet the Writers’, with Steven Moffat, Toby Whithouse and Jamie Mathieson, hosted by Matthew Sweet. After an informative discussion, the floor was opened to the audience, and things went slightly wrong.

Firstly Mr. Moffat seemed to fail to hear a forthright questioner mumble that he was autistic, challenging him over perceived rudeness towards him. Next, a less than subtle question - “You said in Wireless Schedule that DW fans are clever, but if filming doesn’t start until May 2016, why do you think that we’ll believe that there’s going to be a full series next year ?”, proved that Mr. Moffat may have been correct to get his defence in first.

This session completed, there was a half-hour break, in which the friends took the opportunity to discuss the day so far, and in Shirt’s case, to eat his lunch.

The final theatre session was “Meet the Cast”, with Peter Capaldi, Jenna Coleman, Michelle Gomez, Ingrid Oliver and Steven Moffat (again), chaired by Toby Hadoke.

Seemingly learning nothing from Mr. Sweet (Matthew, not the red leech), after a few questions, Toby threw the questioning out to the audience.

As well as the usual, “What’s your favourite story ?”, one fan professed his love for Jenna, and there was a long discussion about the Twelfth Doctor’s spoon.

The session ended with Peter presenting a clearly emotional Jenna with a bunch of flowers on-stage to commemorate her leaving the series.


Dashing out of the theatre, this time it was all four of them that quickly made their way to the third floor, to join the photo-shoot queue for Ingrid Oliver.

The waiting time was spent with a steward encouraging the waiting fans to greet Ingrid as loud as possible, as he had a bet going with Michelle Gomez, whose photo-shoot was in the next room, about whose fans would be louder.

A few seconds after the applause and shouts from next door faded away, Ingrid did enter, to a response that seemed that have won the bet. In fact, Michelle briefly popped in, in an attempt to get a similar reaction.

As with Peter, the queue moved swiftly, with a back-to-back pose being the most frequent. Ingrid was also impressed with several Osgood cosplayers. A few people in front of the friends were a ‘Missy’ and a ‘Twelfth Doctor’, who asked for a ‘Death in Heaven’-style pose, with Missy ‘strangling’ Osgood. Ingrid had no sooner agreed to this, than Missy put an arm round her neck, pulling her backwards, and causing her to briefly struggle for air until Missy loosened her grip, whilst the Twelfth Doctor pointed his sonic at them both. Ingrid seemed relieved when she was freed, and a few more people later, and it was Dufus’ turn, swiftly followed by Shirt (with Ingrid pulling what she called her 'crazy face'), Lupine and Chalky.





Dufus and Shirt grabbed their photos, and moved along to the next room, joining the queue for Michelle. This proved to be the longest queue of the day, due to a short session earlier that day meaning that both Daleks and Cybermen were queuing. Chalky and Lupine meanwhile made their way back downstairs to the main hall. Dufus and Shirt were very entertained by an American fan, who kept plugging his mobile phone into power sockets, and then having to unplug it when the queue had moved forward. Eventually when they reached the main photo-session room, he decided to just leave it plugged-in in the far corner of the room. Downstairs, Chalky and Lupine had arrived just in time for a Large Endings’ panel, in which Barnaby Edwards and (blast from the past) Helen Goldwyn, performed an extract from the upcoming ‘Tenth Doctor Adventures’ with Barnaby as the Doctor and Helen as a surprisingly good Donna.

Upstairs, Dufus and Shirt had finally reached the front of the queue, and having only one ticket, were posing together for a shot with Michelle in her newly acquired ‘Doctor Who’ Christmas jumper.




Grabbing their photo, they managed to slip in for the end of the Large Endings’ panel, just in time for the Q&A. They then waited an eternity whilst Chalky used one of the chairs to sort out his various bags, before finally exiting the panel area. Shirt was hanging around looking for James Joyce, a frequent LE guest star, who had been part of the panel, but seemingly had slipped away before Shirt could get him to sign some covers.

Dufus and Shirt then briefly visited the BBC shop, with Dufus purchasing a Season 18 scarf. They then briefly visited the Naughty Asteroid stand with Chalky purchasing some TITANS minifigures.

Dufus had gone the whole day without any ‘bungee’ moments. Then he made a somewhat curious request. He demanded that Chalky, his friend, should take a photo of him with the LEGO TARDIS. It was a request they should never have granted.



Walking up to the TARDIS, Dufus reached for one of the door handles to make it look like he was opening the TARDIS door. Predictably, it came off in his hand. Chalky was laughing too much, so it was up to Shirt to dash in and reattach the handle, initially trying to do so upside-down. TARDIS door handle reinstated, and Dufus got his photo.



There was then a brief period where everyone walked off in opposite directions, and spent the next five minutes looking for each other. The gang finally reunited, and it was agreed that with only 15 minutes of the event left, they would make for the DLR before they became the crush that Shirt had previously predicted.


Back at Prince Regent, they ‘tapped in’, found the right platform, and caught the first DLR back to Canning Town, before changing onto the Jubilee Line. Chalky and Lupine left at London Bridge to catch the Northern Line to Morden, whilst Dufus and Shirt remained on the train until Waterloo, before catching a train back to Shirt’s. As the two pairs wended their weary ways home, they mused on the day – the photos, the panels, the adulation, the merchandise, the costumes, and the briefly broken TARDIS door-handle. Chalky, Dufus and Shirt were back – and nothing had changed in ten years !!!!




[PL]