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chuck
richard mander
"…Anarchy in
Bromsgrove -
Get the pigs out;
Anarchy in
Bromsgrove -
It's too hot
For a drought…
2… 3… 4…"
Of the five central Flem members, only Chuck and Maudlin were true stage performers, and Maudlin only because he didn't really know what was happening. Chuck held centre-stage, smashing guitars, burning his clothes, falling flat on his face for kicks, and horrifying the crowd by threatening to sing. His ever-changing hair was the subject of constant debate in Vogue, his radical lyrics came to form the central ideology in many newly-formed republics (see "Get The Pigs Out: The Swine Riots of Central Asia", Oxford Press 1992). For Live Aid, Chuck announced that Flem would appear on stage in London and Philadelphia simultaneously, a technical feat made possible by substituting Jim Henson Muppets in place of Chuck and Maudlin, and cardboard cut-outs for the rest of the band. (Haz, already disillusioned by his reputation as 'Mad Louie', was represented by cardboard at both venues.) This was Chuck's greatest moment, knowing that his every movement at Wembley was being mimicked by expert puppeteers across the Atlantic. "For us it was a nightmare," recalls Frank Oz, responsible that day for shaking the puppet's 'perm' wig. "We just couldn't keep up - and when he did a scissor kick at the end of Climax, we knew the crowd could see the huge pole coming up from the stage. But Chuck spotted the problem on his monitors, and with lightning speed he got his dick out in London, so no-one would spot the difference. They just thought it was a tribute to Jim Morrison. What a professional…" In the twilight years of Flem, Chuck feel increasingly under the benign spell of a "Cult of Normality", under which he married the nubile daughter of a local cult leader, and came to believe that "Happiness can be achieved through regular monthly payments". He lives today in an idyllic rural setting, unaware of the massive police presence that for 20 years has prevented hordes of the Flem faithful from crossing the bridge at Bewdley, or of the cult's guerilla units posted in the wooded area behind his home, to protect his fragile privacy…
