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Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes
What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
What did God say after creating Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
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