Welcome To Jambalaya Park
This is a story about the Jambalaya Park and its inhabitants - both tame and wild. Jambalaya Park is essentially bear country .. home to bears of all kinds. You'll meet some of them down the road. Jambalaya Park is multi-cultural as well. You'll find the odd cheetah, raccoon, sax-playing pink panther, dancing elephant, and even Mr T. Just call him Rex and stay out of his way!
Rex doesn't eat bears thankfully. With the kind of culinary variety in Jambalaya Park, who has time for bear meat? NO! Rex is a big Western Omelette Bagel guy and can be regularly found in Subways going for the 6 inch BBQ Rib on White with all the veggies except lettuce (it gives Rex gas) and 3 Chocolate Chunk cookies to go.
The Park is a VSE Listed Company and is also floated on the Richmond Stock Exchange and you can read updates on the stock situation right here thanks to our roving correspondent. The Game Park has many exhibits including the choirs, fellowships and congregation. More updates on park residents will follow... The Game Park Ranger is Coach Uy and we'll start the story there...
Coach Uy
Uncle Manuel is the Head Coach of the Choir Bears. That's the Park's resident group of singing bears who are lethal with a basketball. The elite Bears in the Park if you will. Cos we have lots of dunking bears who can't sing. What good is that, you ask. Good question..
We'll meet the other Bears down the road...
NEW ENDANGERED SPECIES IDENTIFIED ! !
The Jambalaya Park Choir Bears
The alto bears population - which has been under observation for months now, officially dipped below acceptable statistical limits with the coming of spring. One ALTO cage was found broken by park officials. No sign of forced entry was found. The ALTO in question was known to be wanting to leave for some time.
Anyone seeing a white Lexus leaving town is encouraged to call the Game Park at 1-800-FIND-NIC. Another ALTO was scheduled to leave the Reserve for a new life in an Ontario nature park. The third ALTO in question has gone missing for months -- often found sitting in front of a computer screen, but was brought back unharmed periodically by park officials.
Park officials are exploring the possibility of video-conferencing to allow the missing ALTO to practise live via satellite with the other park residents. Game Park President - Uncle Manuel held a press conference yesterday to announce the replenishment of stocks in the alto reserve. Two soprano bears were airlifted out of the Kumbaya Nature Reserve and placed in the ALTO compound where they will undergo round the clock monitoring to ensure their successful adaptation to the new surroundings.
Park officials are optimistic that the new additions will find a "DEEPER" meaning to life and be positive contributors to the group. --- Reuters.
TENORS UPDATE
Tenor Bears are hot commodities at Jambalaya Park. If you see one, be sure to report him to the Rangers. They only come out at night for Daimatsu's after 9 pm Half Price Sushi Specials. Therefore, to no surprise, the tenor stock has seen steady increase over the past 3 financial quarters peaking before last fall's Asian currency crisis. Blue chip bonds continues to hold steady while fly-by-night entities continue to fluctuate wildly.
Due to the increasing popularity of SUVs in park tours, the Park's car rental stock all but disappeared from the bourse last fall. Apparently, the customer service representative's inability to focus on corporate interests and penchant for wearing pyjamas to work caused a dramatic fall in consumer confidence. The bourse's lone rogue stock continues to re-invent itself, the latest as a theological entity.
The Park is readying itself for the entrance of a big player in May - an affiliate of the industry's lone San Francisco import. The new entity is expected to take on blue-chip status and is expected to provide welcome industry options to our very own Alan Greenspan - Coach Uy.
The overall health of this sector continues to bode well for the rest of the financial year. Certainly free from takeover acquisitions and sudden market absences that continue to dog the Bass sector. Industry analysts have not ruled out possible acquisitions by the Bass industry of struggling tenor entities. The market's marquee blue-chip firm issued a statement yesterday warning off industry giants from hostile takeover bids.
FUTURE OF GAME PARK UNCERTAIN
The future of the Jambalaya Nature Reserve remains unclear with the possible departure of one of the Park's more influential Rangers.
The Ranger in question started the young animals training program and directed the formation of a musical exhibit featuring some of the best trained residents of the Park. Thanks also to Ranger Bear, role-playing card games became an integral part of Park morale.
Ranger Bear's replacement has arrived, he was shipped in from the Manila National Zoo in a green BMW and 52 Gold Visa Cards. That topped Ranger Bear's collection by one.The new Ranger "bears" striking physical resemblence to the outgoing Ranger. Park officials however disagree on the size of their respective waist lines.
Both come from a long line of distinguished Ranger pedigree. Among the shipments from Manila is a case full of pedigree show trophies and trotting medals. The future of the musical exhibit and young animals training program is shrouded in uncertainty. The new Ranger was reported to be keen on "flying" in his own musical shows.
There is optimism that the new Ranger will be able to carry on the good work left by Ranger Bear who is reported considering offers from what is known as "Chick Country" in Game Park circles.Ranger Bear will likely be taking with him, a long time park resident known as the Ultimate Chick Hunter aka Drummer Bear.
Jambalaya Park officials have contacted their counterparts at Easy Chick Baiting Country (ECBC) about the Ultimate Chick Hunter's penchant for throwing chairs and jumping on cars.Baiting Country officials issued a statement today announcing the creation of a special enclosure for the new Resident. The main security feature is reported to be a subliminal piped audio warning in the enclosure to the words of, "STOP IT....!!!".
Jambalaya Park officials have also sent over recordings of U2 albums to sooth the occasionally jangled nerves of the Hunter. A favourite track is reported to be "With Or Without You" -- a track that defined the rock sound of a decade and went Multiple Platinum in 1987 worldwide.
Listen To With Or Without You On Real
Audio!
An update on the Jambalaya Nature Reserve is expected in 4 weeks time. -- AP, Reuters.
Correspondent's Footnote : No animals or human egos were harmed in the reporting of this news.
Special Section For A Cool Bear
Wesley Ang
Check out his web page for a history of ICRC at Wesley Ang's Home Page
Check there for more on his interests.
