B'harni -- Purple Predator and Paedophile!
A social commentary by Rev. Gene

Perhaps the biggest blight to ever descend on our children is disguised as a large friendly purple dinosaur. But those of us in the know, truly know who he really is.

For hours, our children are glued to their teevee sets to watch the Purple One dancing and gyrating on the screen, singing his diabolic chants, mesmerising them until they, too, repeat the same chants like a mantra!

Surrounding himself with his "little friends", the Purple Molester seduces small children with happy tunes, false love, and gentle demeanor, lulling them into a false sense of security and happiness. That is, until it's too late!

FACT:  The color purple has long been associated with homosexuality. Witness the purple Teletubby, with the homosexual symbol of a purple triangle jutting from his homosexual head. No doubt the antenna for his "gaydar".

FACT:  Adult molesters of children, especially of the homosexual variety, have typically been large, overweight, and of a gentle, jolly, jovial demeanor (at least on the outside). They are often called "chicken hawks", especially those that prey on young boys, as a nod to their predatory nature on the weak, innocent, and unsuspecting.

FACT:  Music has long been used as the "piper's song" to attract children. Witness the story of the Pied Piper, long known to be a paedophile. Also witness the variety of musical tunes used to lure children to ice cream vendors' trucks. Now that you think of one, can you not get that tune out of your head? Now think of the B'harni song, and how it echoes through your head over and over, unable to be purged.

FACT:  B'harni has no known wife or girlfriends. He therefore must be a homosexual.

FACT:  B'harni claims that they are all "one big happy family". This spits in the face of Traditional Family Values™, and bastardises the definition of family, turning it from husband and wife with their children, to any collection of people who choose to call themselves a "family", even homosexual couples, orgy-mates, and other sinners.

FACT:  B'harni has no visible means of financial support. How, then, does he maintain his residence, pay his staff, and so on? If you were to call the show's producers, they will state flat out that they do not pay B'harni even a penny. Truly, there must be other (likely sinister) interests footing all the bills.

FACT:  A nothing purple dinosaur rockets to national fame and fortune almost literally overnight, and becomes something of a cult hero to millions upon of millions American children, as well as children abroad. How did this happen? Did he perform ritual sacrifice to Satan for his fame and fortune? How many children whose faces now adorn milk cartons were sacrificed to bring the Purple One into millions of American homes? What was the price of B'harni's new-found fame and fortune?

FACT:  The Purple One has never once been audited by the IRS. The Purple One has never filed even a single tax return despite his immense popularity. The Purple One lives a reclusive life, has never granted even one interview, never sees visitors, and has more in common with cult leader Jim Jones than any legitimate performer. What will happen when your child asks for Kool-Aid™?

Someone who exhibits all of those qualities, entices little children to paedophilic love with his siren song, is known to be without a wife or girlfriend, openly and defiantly surrounds himself with young children, basks in the publicity given to him by national and even international media coverage, has no visible means of financial support, and takes on the persona of a cult leader... Can you not believe he has evil intents on your children? Can you not believe he is one of Satan's Disciples?

Don't delay! Save your children from the purple claws of this hideous demonic creature!

Onward, Christian soldiers!
Death to the Purple One!