Cloud vs. Aeris

WARNING!! WARNING!! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SERIOUSNESS, SKIP MOST, NO SOME OF THIS FIF,...UH..I MEAN, FIC!....PLEASE? GOOD! ^_^ ENJOY!

(..THAT WORD GIVES MY STOMACH THE WRONG IDEA. LET ME GO EAT SOMETHING..!!!!)

LET ME SHUT UP, SO YOU CAN READ!!! Oh! Another thing, TO DETECT THE COMICAL BEGINING AND THE REST, BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR STARS! LIKE THIS-***************!!

GET IT? GOOD. & YOU GUYS BETTER, CUZ I'M GONNA STOP AND GET ON WITH THE STORY. HIT IT!!

"Man, where am I? It's all black....am I dead? No! It can't be!" Cloud wondered, as he found himself in a void of nothingness.

Looking around for anything to help him, he found himself asking the same questions continuously, even though he knew had no answer to.

Almost.

Out of nowhere, Cloud heard an echoing laugh that was very familiar to him. It was sickening, and very annoying. Lest, in a way, answered his questions.

Matching up the voice with the only other person who sounded like it in his brain, he snarled and forced out the name, as if it were a curse.

He began to reach for his sword,...but it wasn't there!(oooohhhh! scary!)

Feeling luck, strength, and skill instantly drain from his side, he helplessly held his fists at his sides and glanced around fiercely for the haunter.

"What do you want?!! Where am I? You better leave me alone if you know what's best for you! Well?!!"

He only heard laughing.

Feeling dumbfounded and greatly annoyed, he raised his fists to his face and prepared himself. "Show yourself! Now!"

Just as he commanded, a faint, green glow appeared behind him and caught the responding attention from the corner of his eye.

Curious, and left with little choice, he turned to follow the gleam.

At first, there was nothing in the location, but a ring of bright green light.

Cloud recoiled.

That light reminded him so much of that of Sephiroth's mako-green eyes. The same eyes that scorched his very soul, everytime he sought them.

Luckily, those awful memories disolved when a figure appeared in the light.

Even though the figure had its head down, and facial features hidden, Cloud didn't hesitate to realize who it was.

"Aeris!!" he called, instantly feeling a rush of joy couse through him.

"Aeris, what are you doing here? Are you alright?"

He began to run to her.

Noticing him, her head jerked up and a smile edged her lips.

As he got closer, what he saw made him stop cold.

On Aeris's back was his sword!!!(ooooh! spooky)

Cloud was astounded in a way that words would fail explaining.

He hesitated, not making a move.

"A...Aeris...what ...are you....why do you.....how?"

By hearing her name, Aeris reached behind her, pulled out the sword, hung her head slowly, then averted her eyes from Cloud.

In a swift movement, she twirled the weapon around to face the left side of her chest. Her heart.

Realizing what was happening, Cloud started to sprint towards Aeris automatically. "Aeris, no!!!!"

She seemed not to care for his warning as he got closer to her.

Forced with no other option, Aeris tugged the sword back, preparing to stab herself with it.

Feeling a way of which words could not explain, Cloud found himself at a loss for words *well, DUH!* as he tried to stop Aeris from commiting suicide.

As soon as he was about a foot away from her, she quickly reversed the sword's direction, jerked back slightly, to gain force, snapped her head up, and smirked evily at him, and trusted the sword forward, unhesitantly. *what a run-on sentence*

Cloud only saw red.

Screaming in pain, he sat up in his bed with a -whoosh-.

He breathed heavily and grabbed his heart. His mind and heart raced furiously at the same pace of his breath.

As he closed his eyes to catch his breath, he heard pounding sounds from downstairs rise immediatly to his room level.

The second he darted his eyes to the door, Aeris and Tifa burst in with Cait and Red close behind.

Aeris was the first one to run up, and kneel down at him.

As soon as she did, Cloud grabbed her protectivly by the shoulders, and then embraced her in a firm hug.

Tifa felt torn just then, but shook it away mentally, as Red turned and cocked his head towards the door.

"Come on. I think they need some alone time." he announced softly.

Cait nodded and hopped out on his moogle.

For some reson, Tifa was frozen in an unexplainable gaze on Aeris and Cloud. She would've stayed that way forever, if Red hadn't tapped his tail on her leg and motioned for her to go.

She reluctantly obeyed, but stole another secret glance from them, as the door completly closed off her line of vision.

"Cloud? Cloud what happened? Did you have a nighmare?" Aeris softly asked, as she felt something wet and slightly heavy land, then roll off her cheek.

She gasped as Cloud made a small elevating guesture with his head, as if to say "yes" *but you all knew that, right?*

She was speechless. Cloud very rarely cried.

Whatever went on in that dream must've been really heavy to make him THIS upset! *hm. naw, really?!*

Feeling a wave of questions sweep over her to ask, all of a sudden, Aeris gently tried to pull away from Cloud's strong carres, but he repelled it.

"Just..Ju--just let me hol-ld you." he hesitated, trying to hold back a deep sob.

Aeris blinked. Without much choice, she asked: "Do you feel like talking about it?"

Cloud was silent for a while, as he glanced up and swallowed, then let her go.

"No." was all he said. It contained no emmotion, whatsoever.

Feeling lost in communication, Aeris glanced away and put a fist to her chest.

This reminded Cloud too much about his previous telepathic encounter. *ooh! big words! very nice!*

"Please,...don't do that." he said softly.

Aeris hesitated and blinked.

"Please,.. leave." he muttered, as he clenched his sheets.

Aeris gasped, and quietly slipped out the door.

Downstairs in the bar, Tifa quietly waited for Aeris to tell the news about Cloud's behavior. She seemed lost deeply in thought and had no care for her surroundings.

Just glancing at the dead-pan expression on her face made Red haunch, fold back his ears, and hide his tail behind his legs in slight fear.*ooh! like Catwoman! yeah!!*

Yuffie and Vincent were out hunting. The others were asleep, and Cait was too busy cooking to notice anything unusual.*don't ask me*

He wished he didn't have to talk to her, but if he didn't do something,*snore* she might die from heartbreak or lonliness! *so, what's the point, here?*

Padding over to her, he gathered up his courage and hopped up on a stool.

Sighing to build up strength, he began to speak.*sit, Boo-Boo, sit! good dog-woof!- ~_^*

"Uh, Tifa? Tifa?"

Her expression remained unchanged. She didn't even blink!*wow! not! You would've thought she was a manaquin or something!*

About to try again, Red inhaled, then exhaled and blinked when Tifa's eyes created a thin film of tears and jiggled in semi-circles.*anime, people. anime*

She seemed to be staring, now at at the stairway.

Red followed her gaze, as she sprang up and jogged over to the bottom, as Aeris came down.

Red, from his distance, could clearly make out all that was going on.

Tifa almost ran Aeris down, trying to go past her, to check on Cloud, but Aeris held her back.

Tifa began to go into a frenzy, but Aeris kept a firm hold on her, and sadly shook her head.

Tifa paused and her eyes got wide as if asking, "Why?!"

Due to the distance, Red could only make out them mouthing just above a whisper.

Aeris shook her head again*don't shake it too much!*, stared striaght into Tifa's eyes, and told her," Cloud ...is going through a serious crisis and doesn't...can't be disturbed."

Tifa hesitated. It could easily be detected that she didn't care about Aeris's warning and wanted to be with Cloud, at all costs.

"Tifa, listen to me, Cloud....you can't...."

"I can do whatever I please!" Tifa informed as she shook off Aeris's grasp, pushed by her, and prepared to take a step.

"Tifa, no! Don't!! Cloud's......"

"WHAT?!!!" Tifa shout out, harshly, facing Aeris with disgrace.

Startled by Tia's urgent tone, Aeis hesitated and folded her hands in front of her, adverting her gaze.

Annoyed, Tifa threw her hands on her hips and shifted her weight. Also, wondering why she was wasting her time on this woman. "Well?!!" she asked, the irritation clear in her voice.

Aeris hesitated. "Cloud....he's..."

"Right here."

Aeris and Tifa winced and darted their heads in the direction of the new voice, coming down from the middle of the stairs.

"Cloud, you....how are you? Your....aren't you...OH!" Tifa hesitated breathlessly as Cloud made his way down to the lower level.

Tifa examined him secretly, to make sure he had no ability disorders.*hmm..does that sound right...grammar-wise, i mean?*

He looked perfectly fine. 'He just had a bad dream. It's nothing too serious to worry about', Tifa thought to herself, 'Knowing Cloud, he'll get over it.'

Cloud slid a hand across his forehead, and dragged out a blink before he spoke.

"I'm fine."

His statement came out as plainly as it looks.*ooh, dramatic, isn't it? =Þ*

Tifa winced and opened her mouth as if to say something, but found herself at a loss of communication.

Seeing that she had nothing left to say, Cloud began to pass her, to sit at a table.

Just as he found the one closest to him, he looked up just in time to see a thick, long brown braid float slowly out the door.*yawn, what a run-on. but somehow..pretty darn good*

Fpollowing*oops* Following close behind it was a soft tap, made by the clashing hinges.*but you guys knew that, right?*

'Brown braid...Aeris. What's she up to? Could that dream, no, nightmare sign, or something?' Cloud reflected, as he walked slowly to the door.

Just thinking about what happened in his mind that morning made him shudder.

Before he opened it, he unseathed his sword and leaned it against the wall beside the door.

He hated to have the feeling that he couldn't even trust someone he looked forward in spending the rest of his life with. He HATED it.*oh pleez.*

He deliberated for a moment and tapped his fingertips on the wall to show it.

Finally,*yay!* he said:" Tifa, gaurd this 'til I get back. If Aeris shows up, don't let her lay a finger on it, you got me?"

Tifa was taken aback.

Why was Cloud against Aeris all of a sudden?

For some reason, half of her enjoyed hearing this, the other had this sinking feeling out of nowhere.

She hesitaited as Cait finally got finished cooking and announced it.*meaning....*

Seeing Cloud, he gave him a salutation.

Only, Cloud had already left out the door.

"Buddy!*oopsie! wrong script! sorry Shurman & Carla!* Cloud! Cloud, wait!!" Tifa called, even though she knew it was too late.

After Cloud says his piece, he's gone, giving you the signal to get to work executing *hey! i spelled it right!^_^ good for me!* it!!

"Man, he must really be serious about something if he left without staying for one bite of food!!" Cait pointed out, ignoring the privious incident.

Tifa could say nothing. However, she sat at the table nearest to the door, and did as she was told.

As she did, Cait began passing out the food.

"I don't know what this is all about, but i hust have this weird feeling to.....hmmm!?!!" Aeris whispered to herself and pursed her lips as she sensed a human presence behind her.

Glancing out the corner of her eye, she sought that her secret hypothesis was correct.

'Cloud' she though. 'He might be on to me if I don't hide the evidence! Better do the usual routine, so he won't sespect a thing!'

"Hello Cloud. Are you any better, now?" she asked, turning and flashing him a smile.

He blinked at her energy level. "Fine, now. Thanks for asking."

She gave him her most syrupy-sweet smile, as if to say, "No problem."

Noticing he was acting strange, Aeris started to panic, but hid it under a smooth sounding question. "Cloud, what's the matter? Why don't you join me on this rock?"

Cloud hesitated. "No, that's ok! I need to, uh, build up my back strength a bit more," he added as he began to roll and shake out his shoulders in nervousness.*however you spell it!!*

Aeris raised an eyebrow at him. "Right," she replied sarcastically.*...i...don't... know*

Cloud felt himself break out in cold sweat. 'Oh, no!! She's not buying it!!*naw, really? could've fooled me! NOT! uh,..read on, please*.....I hate to admit that I'm afraid of what she might do. Maybe I should keep my distance from her. What am I saying?!*you're sayin' what you're sayin'! I don't know what you're sayin'!! ^_~ hee!* If that's the way I feel, I should have not come out here in the first place. But, I have to know what she's up to. I need some time to think'*gee, I wrote that?! well, I guess I did, didn't I? ha! ahem, let's move on...*

"Well, see you around, Aeris."

Aeris blinked three times, pausing a second for each. "Huh? C-Cloud! Hey, Cloud, wait a sec! Cloud!!"

Cloud didn't bother to answer, as he started to walk back to the bar.

"Cloud! Wait, I...." Aseri*oops!! my bd uh, bad!*

Aeis*JEEZ!!* aERIS*sigh* Aeris*finally!* paused as she noticed that he was without his sword. She gasped. 'Where's his sword?!! Oh no! Does he know?!!' "Cloud, where's your sword? You never go anywhere without it."

Cloud turned white. He had no other choice, but to come back with a crack to hide his astonishment.

"When did YOU become such an inspector, Aeris?*da na na na na, Inspector Gadget...whoohoo!* Are you spying on me?"

How he hated to say those words.*I feel your pain, brotha!*

Aeris's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "I....I...."

*Get ready!!...didn't I say that, already?*

"What are they saying?"

"If you'd be quiet, you could hear them!!"

"Who are YOU to tell ME what to do?!"

"I warned you....THEY STOPPED!! They must've heard your big mouth!!"

"ME?!! OH, SO I HAVE A BIG MOUTH, NOW?!!!"

"Hmmm, now, whose fault is that, I wonder?"

"Grrr, YOU'RE TICKING ME OFF, BUSTER!!!"

"So, let's make haste and put an end to this, shall we?"

"Huh?"

BASH!!!!!*sound effects, people! work with me, here!*

Just then, someone got ejected out of a nearby tree, and started tumbling towards Cloud. When the tumbling stopped, the character shook her head, looked up at Cloud, glanced at Aeris, and sprang up off the ground.*whoo, what a run-on.hope I'm not getting graded on this*

Holdingher nose in slight pain, she whirled around from where she was sluged from, and shook a fist.

"ALRIGHT!!!!!! YOU GOT ME!! COME ON OUT!! YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHOW YOURSELF!!!!" she yelled as she ran up to the tree, whisked out her weapon, and chopped down the tree, comically, in three strokes.

The tree came crashing down*duh!*, but also in a comical way, as another figure emerged briskly and smoothly from within it.

As soon as he landed, he ran up to the female, and smacked her upside the back of the head.

That action made her eyes water.

"WHY THE HECK DID YA DO THAT FOR?!!!!"

"Because, I felt like it 'Why the heck' do you think?"

"OOOOH, VINCENT,....I OUGHTA....!!...."

"Yuffie! Vincent! You guys, chill!!" Aeris gestured to the newcomers.

"Yeah," Cloud added, sliding a hand through his hair, "cuz, you guys are giving me a headache."

Yuffie faced Cloud with clenched fists and raging eyes. "JUST SHUT DA HECK UP, SPIKEY!!!"

Cloud recoiled. "Leave my hair alone. It gives me my charm. 'Sides, could you speak a little downwind? You're like, getting little bubbles and balls of spit on me."

This caused Yuffie to break out into shrill laughter, which made everyone cover their ears in tourture.*I...think I spelled it right. but who cares?!!*

"Ha!! That should be very helpful to someone who didn't bathe this morning!!!"

Cloud flushed.

"See!?!" Yuffie added.

"Like you did!!" he cracked.

For a second, Yuffie seemed offended by this remark, but hid it under a comeback. "You don't know what I do in the morning, so don't go there."

"Heh. Believe me, I wouldn't WANT to know!!!"

This made Yuffie blush, then tense with anger. "Yeah?!! Well, I'll make sure you never do!!! ALL CREAT..." she started, then Vincent stopped her by smacking her upside the back of the head in a comical way. That knocked Yuffie down.

She landed with a thud, then lay like she needed a serious visit to the chyropractor.

Then she leaped up, recovering instantly, and prepared to slap Vincent when Aeris laughed.

Yuffie ceased cold, and everyone stared at her.

Noticing their strange, quizzical gazes on her, Aeris cleared her throat and adverted them. "Why must most things have to deal with violence?"

Yuffie blinked, as Cloud lowered his eyes as well as his voice. "Cuz, it's in the script."

Vincent and Aeris nodded at the same time with determination on their faces, and pounded a fist in an open palm.*discriptive, isn't it?* "That explains everything!!"

Then, all was silent.*snore* Unusually silent.

After 5 minutes, Aeris started making whispering sounds to get Yuffie's attention. "Psst! Psst, Yuffie!! Hey, Yuffie!!"

Yuffie faced her impatiently.*I don't wanna hear it=D* "What?!!"

Cloud cleared his throat. "Yuffie!!" he forced out in a rushed tone.

All this just got Yuffie fustrated. "What?!! What is so important, that you can't tell me right off?!!!"

As if to answer her, Vincent simply smacked her upside the back of the head.

Yuffie recoiled and rubbed the spot he struck.

"Y'know, Vincent, if you keep that up, you could give her serious brain damage!!!" Aeris pointed out.

"You're a little late on that one, Aeris." Cloud cracked.

Yuffie ignored their comments and stayed focused on the pain.

"WHAT?!!! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!! WHY DO..."

"It's your line, stupid!!!" Vincent retorted.

"Don't call me that!!!"

"I just did!"

"Grrr..." Yuffie began, as she clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. "CUE CARD!!!!"

Vincent smacks her again. "That's line, not 'cue card'!!"

"Ooooooooohhhhh.....WHATEVER!!!!"

Aeris shook her head in disbelief. "If Yuffie's a REAL ninja, shouldn't she be able to sense actions BEFORE they happen?"

"Hmmm, something to think about." Cloud wondered, putting a hand up to his chin.

"JUST LAY OFF!!! JEEZ!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE TODAY?!! GET UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED, OR SOMETHING?!!"

Vincent smacked her again. "SHUT UP!!! You're annoying me!!"

This just made Yuffie angrier, as she went into a cursing frenzy.

"Ummm, COFFEE BREAK!! 5 MINUTES!!!" Cloud offered, as he threw his pointer finger in the air, lest in a comical way.*how else would he do it?*

Back at Tifa's, she lazily picked at her food with her fork. As soon as she heard the sounds of heavy footsteps on her porch, her eyes widened, and she got up to answer it.

She knew that only the guys and Yuffie walked heavy like that.*oh, really?*

She put her hand on the knob, and on the second she began to turn it, the door burst open, with Cloud's hand as the causer.

She bounced back in surprise, while watching Cloud and Vincent walk macho-like over to the nearest table, and sat down, without a word.*run-on alret!*

Tifa was taken aback, and blinked several times to show it. 'Where's Yuffie? And why are you guys here so early?' she thought.

She walked over to them and whispered out the corner of her mouth, with a smile that was fake.

"Guys, what are you doing here so early?! And where's Yuffie?!"

Cloud gazed wairily at her. "It's o.k., Teef. You don't have to whisper. We're on a coffee break, cuz woodchuck lost it, and blew her lines."

Tifa got an astonished expression on her face, exhaled arrogantly, and rolled her eyes. "Again?!!!"

Cloud and Vincent nodded tiredly.

Tifa sighed heavily, turned around and threw up her arms in dissapointment.

Running a hand through her hair, she turned back around and shifted her weight in a fed up manor. "MAN!!! We are NEVER gonna get this done!!! THIS IS THE 16TH TIME!!!"

"18th, Teef." Vincent corrected softly.

Tifa groaned. "WHATEVER!! ITS STILL TOO MANY!!"

While this went on, Cloud switched his gazeover to the table near the door. At what his eyes beheld made him go histerical. He jumped up. "Tifa, where's my sword?!!!"

Tifa stopped arguing, glanced at Cloud, and then the wall.

She hesitated with astonishment. "It..it WAS right there!!"

Cloud went into a flashback trance about his nightmare.

'It couldn't be!! Not a chance!'

*yawn. the good parts are coming!! don't go to sleep on me!!*

"Lookin' for this?"

Everyone darted their heads in the direction of the high-scratchy voice called from the bottom of the stairs.

Tifa gasped as Cloud and Vincent stood up.

Cloud's face got hot with anger as he clenched his fists and stomped over to the annoying pain in the form of a bratty human.*ooh, nice one!*

"YUFFIE!!! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU!!! FIRST YOU BLOW YOUR LINES, THEN YOU TAKE MY SWORD!!" Cloud snatched the sword from her, and prepared to slit her throat.

Just then, Vincent whisks by Cloud, and smacks Yuffie upside the back of the head, again.

That made her head bob comically, then she craddled her head in her arms, and gave Vincent am almost pleading expression. It was a look that had anger and hurt create a thin film of tears that reflected in her eyes.*but who wants to hear that?!!*

"Why do you keep doing that?!!! Is that your idea of 'fun', Vincent?!!!"

"Ahhh, so you DO have some wits about you!! It's a miracle!!" Vincent retaliated in a false tone.

"Thank you two very much for the comic relief. We really appreciate it." Cloud noted lamely, and dryly.

"Really?" Yuffie wondered, her face brightening instantly.

Vincent smacks her, again. "No!!" he sighed," Then again, maybe you were born naturally stupid."

"Is that an insult?" Yuffie asked, with slight edge in her voice.

Vincent smacks her yet again. "Naw, it was a compliment. WHAT DO YOU THINK?!!!"

Yuffie hesitated, then smiled evilly.*hey, I'm no grade A-speller!*

"I don't think, ...I know."

"Ha!!" Vincent and Cloud said together in disbelief with crossed arms. "And prey-tell, just WHAT do you know?"

"Hee! That a very important event is coming really soon." Yuffie announced proudly.

The guys still didn't look convinced. "Yeah? What?"

Yuffie grinned and raised up her shriken.

"BLOODFEST '98!!!" she yelled, and attacked.

Cloud and Vincent screamed, as Yuffie charged towards them using her Bloodfest Limit Break.

After the 16th hit, and causing massive damage to the guys, Cloud, as he got beat up, began to chuckle.

Then Vincent started to laugh. Then Cloud and Vincent both began to cackle uninanimously,*ooh, big word* while Yuffie struck away.

All this noise made Tifa cringe, and put a hand to her head in impatience. "Guys, could you shut up with the laughing, already? You sound like a bunch of witches and mountain goats!!"

They stopped laughing on the dime.

By that time, Yuffie had finished her raiding attacks.

Then all of sudden, Cloud and Vincent began to grin slyly.

This made Yuffie recoil, as her eyebrow twitched and allowed a giant sweatball to go down the side of her face in embarrassment*big word.*

"Wha..what...why are you guys smiling like that?!!"

Heh, we've got a little somethin' for ya, Yuffie." Cloud sneered.

"Yeah. A gift for all you've done!" Vincent added in the same tone.

"....For me? What is it?" Yuffie wondered, lowering her weapon.

Cloud and Vincent glanced at each other, slyly, then slowly reached for their weapons, lest in a comical way.

Yuffie gasped in horror, as Vincent transformed into Death Gigas.

Yuffie's sharp intake of breath caught Tifa's divided attention. She reluctantly switched her gaze lazily over to them, then did a double take, as the men readied their weapons and shouted their attacks.

"GIGADUNK!!" Vincent shouted, as he charged at Yuffie and hit her hard.

When he morphed back into himself, Cloud held up his sword.

"CLOUD, NO!!! NOT IN THE HOUSE!!" Tifa yelled, as she ran in front of him to stop him. Only it was too late.

"Omnislash!!" Cloud shouted, as he began slashing like a mad-man, then leaped up, and unleashed powrful, semi-explosive beams, as he came down---nailing Tifa BIG time.*uh-oh!*

When it was over, he lowered his sword, and muttered a curse.

Moderatly in slightly serious pain, Tifa bounced over to him*y'know like how they do after attacking in the game?* with rage clearly burning in her eyes.

"Uh...oh." Vincent and Yuffie said together, slowly.

Cloud broke out in cold sweat. "Look, Teef, I'm sorry!! I didn't mean to..."

"SHUT UP!!!!! IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, NOW!!! GET READY!!" Tifa spat, as she readied her fist.

Outside, near the coastline, Aeris glanced at her watch. "O.k. 5 minutes are up." She got up and wiped off her dress.

Then she began walking towards Tifa's.

Just as she took another step, she heard a scream from the direction she was headed in.

"FINAL HEAVEN!!!" The voice bellowed as other screams could be heard.

Aeris winced. "Tifa? Why...?"

The gigantic explosion erupted from what Aeris could see, under a hill.

"What the...", was all Aeris could say, as she found herself sprinting towards the explosion.

When she got there, she wasn't surprised to find Tifa as the causer.

Stepping over debris, she finally made her way over to Tifa.

She glanced around. "Girrrlll, what have you done?! Look at this place!! You trashed it completly!! You could've killed somebody!!!"

Tifa glared at her. "That WAS the idea!"

Aeris blinked. "Why? To whom?"

Tifa made a spitting gesture to her left. "Trying to stop Cloud from trashing my place!"

Aeris glanced arond. "A little too late for that. What for?"

"Getting back at Yuffie. In order to save this place, I had to stop Cloud, so I jumped in front of Yuffie. I got brutilized. I didn't want it to end up like this, but...he built up my Limit Break."

Aeris sighed and shook her head. "The writer must be fresh out of ideas, cuz you are makin' no sense at all, Teef."

Just as she said that, the others popped up out of the woodwork. They appeared dazed, then their faces grew feirce.

"WHERE'S MY STUNT DOUBLE?!!!"

Aeris sighed. "Maybe if SOMEONE didn't tear up their stunt double contracts, because they refused to pay the 10,000 gil fee, they'd have one!"

Cloud sucked his teeth. "You think I'm gonna pay 10 grand for some puny, wanna-be version of me?!! I don't think so!! 'Sides, if you give 'em your trust, they stomp all over ya!! If they get serverally injured, they take a huge bite outta your insurence!!!"

"O.k! O.k!! Sheesh! I hear you!! Well, I might as well heal you guys. Pulse of Life!!" Aeris prayed, as small sparkles of light surrounded everyone and engulfed them in a heavenly glow--all the while healing them of all statuses.

"There," she said when she was done. "Now, the 5 minutes are wayyy past from being up. Let's hurry and get back to the story. You know how the writers feel about long breaks."

"Yeah." Cloud spoke up. " 'Sorry, but it's no- travel season'. "

"And if Yuffie doesn't mess everything up, again!!" Vincent exclaimed. That made Yuffie glare at him.

"What's that supposed ta mean?!!"

Vincent smacked her upside the back of the head---again. "What do you think?!!"

"Um..Vincent? That's beginning to get kind of old." Aeris suggested.

"I'll say!!" Tifa put in.

Vincent nodded. "You're right. Alright then." He backed off.

Yuffie's face brightened. "Thanks, Aeris!! You're the best!! I love you!!"

Just as she said that, Vincent charged over to her and gave her a two-fingered poke in the eyes, squeesed her nose with two fingers, and slapped her on the cheek. All the while making noises simular to that of the 3 Stooges.

Then, Yuffie rubbed her face and yelled to Aeris, "I HATE YOU, AERIS!!!"

Cloud, Aeris, and Tifa felt a giant sweatball slowly ease down the side of their faces.

Aeris put two fingers to her forhead and closed her eyes. "Vincent, that's...not what I ment."

Then suddenly, Vincent dropped to the floor, and went around in constant circles, using only his feet.

He went on making those noises, again.

Oh my gosh, Yuffie!!! What did you do to Vincent?!!! My gosh, you SCRAMBLED HIS BRAIN!!! OH NOOO!! WAHHHH!!!" Cloud broke out in muffled sobs. Comically, he rubbed his face with his arm, and cried: "I promise you, Vincent! I shall avenge you!!!! Oh!! Farwell my friend!!! BWAAAAHHHHHAHAHHAAHAHHHH!!!! WAHHHHHHAHAHH--OWW!!!!" Cloud's outburst got cut off, by Vincent leaping up from the floor, rushing over to Cloud, and---you guessed it--smacked him hard, upside the back of his head.

That knocked him to the floor, in an instant.

"OH MY GOSH!! YOU TURNED CLOUD INTO A VEGETABLE, VINCENT!!!!" Aeris sheriked.

Vincent scratched his head. "Really? By the way he's been acting lately, I couldn't tell!!"

Aeris glared darkly at him. "What are you saying?!! Cloud hasn't been acting whacky!!"

"Oh, really? Could've fooled me!" Vincent replied.

This got Aeris steamed, as she clencehed her fists, and turned a boiling red. She was about to slap him, when Tifa's voice called out: "Like, hello?!! Can we please get on with this? We've wasted 5, going on 6, pages with this foolishness!!!"

"Oh, like you haven't?!!" Aeris defended.

Tifa blushed. "Th...that's besides the point! The point is..."

"FOR ALL OF YOU TO SHUT UP, SO WE CAN GET ON WITH THIS STORY!!!" Cloud yelled, getting up.

Yuffie shrugged. "No matter what we do, we'll still have full pay checks."

"Finally, you've said something that made sense!!"

"KA-CHING!!!" Cloud and Tifa shouted, as they made a fist, and pulled back their arms, to represent a register.

"Ahhh, that's music to my ears. Do it again, Teef!" Cloud said.

Tifa obeyed. She liked to hear it, too!*your point is...* "Ka-ching!!"

This made Cloud shudder with pride. "Ooooh. Do it, again!!"

"MUFASA! MUFASA! MUFASA!!!!"

"You're overdoing it, again!! And tha's the wrong script, idiot!!!" Vincent yelled to Yuffie.

Aeris just closed her eyes, and shook her head. "Hoo boy." *if you're wondering, yes, I added that. I had to, believe me*

Meanwhile, after all the commotion died down, everyone just stared straight ahead, for no reason, and blinked continuously*however you spell it!*

They stayed like that, doing really nothing.

Finally, when the wave of boredom swept over them, Tifa, of all people, had the urge to speak up. "Hey, why are we just standing around here doing nothing? We have a story to run, here!!"

Cloud shrugged. "Ask Aeris. She knows the writer better than the rest of us."

Tifa half-smiled at this, but took Cloud's advice, anyway.

"Um...Aeris?" she wondered, as she looked at her. She looked as if she were communicating with something, or someone.

Tifa tried again. "Aeris? What are you doing?"

"Talking. Telepathy, really." she replied, absently.

Tifa raised an eyebrow. "With who?"

"The writer. I'm asking her your question of why we're just standing around here, doing nothing."

"And? What she say?"

"She says...that she can't decide if the rest of this story should be comedy, or serious. Oh! And, she says...that she really enjoyed the show you guys did, back there in the last part. And also...she says for me to say 'hi' and 'thank you' to the 'comic relief' back there in the corner."

By hearing compliments about themselves, they comically bunched together and posed.

"You love us!! You REALLY love us!!!" "Our public!!" Vincent and Yuffie gushed.

The others just stared at them.

Cloud sighed and stuffed his hands deep in his pockets. "Hook line, and sink 'em."

"HEY!!! You're getting off track!! We all are!!! Aeris, has the writer decided, yet?!" Tifa notified.

Aeris looked up, then faced Tifa. "She..."

"The jury has met the verdict!! And we, the jury, find the choice to be..." Cloud announced, startling everyone.

Tifa shot him a deadly glare. "Stop that, you looney!!"

"Um..." ,Aeris started, meekly, "...comedy."

"YESSS!!!!" Cloud, Yuffie, and Vincent shouted, as balloons and graffitti showered down all over the place, from out of nowhere.

Suddenly, Vincent ran up to Aeris with a microphine. "Miss Gainsburough, now that you've answered the MILLION DOLLAR question, what are you going to do, next?"

Aeris blinked at the game-show-host-like tone to his voice. Then, a smile edged her lips. "I'm going to Dis..."

"EXCUUUSE me!!!*you're excused, Miss. Lockheart! =Þ*, but I want to know, how are we going to run a comic story that was origanlly based on series descriptions?!?" Tifa interupted.

Vincent slowly slipped away, as Aeris felt a giant sweatball slid down the side of her face. "Oh! Um...uh...well...I know!! We'll ad lib!!"

"Ok, then." Yuffie began, as she pulled out a small book. "Ramza...- need adjective--went--noun--to...OW!!!!!" She screamed, as Vincent smacked her upside the back of the head. "She said 'AD LIB', not 'Mad Libs'!!! IDIOT!!"

Yuffie cradled her head in her hands, dropping her book. "Hey, I thought that was outdated!?! "

"Oh. You're right. O.k, then...here." Vincent said, as he grabbed firmly on her hair, pulled on it, hard, then bobbed it up and down, like a bopping balloon. "There. Is that better?"

Yuffie could say nothing. She snatched her book off the floor, and started to stuff it in her pocket, when Aeris came up to her, and took it.

"Sorry, Yuf, but we may need this later, for the next parts of the story, since we have no script to follow."

Yuffie nodded, then her brows came together in anger. "Don't call me that! I HATE that name!!!"

Everyone gave Yuffie a mocking gaze. "Like we care!!"

"Where ARE they!?!! THEY'RE LATE!!!" Sephiroth wondered, as he paced impatiently in his cave-like motel in the Crater.

"Arrrggghh!!! If they don't show up soon..." He glanced at his watch. "Oh yeah!! It's time for my favorite show!! They can have all the time they want!!" He gushed, as he ran into the den, and flicked on the TV.

As soon as the program came on, Sephiroth bounced on the floor, sat with the souls of his boots touching each other, and his hands folded in his lap.

His eyes widened as the music began and sang along.

".....and Molly, a clown and her dolly, on the Big Comfy Coouuucchh!!! Yay!! This is better than cross-dressing!!"

Back at Tifa's, everyone stood around. Obviously, waiting for something.*well, DUH!!*

Tifa examined her nails and patted her hair.

Aeris glanced around, wairily*whatever!*, while leaning on what was left of the wall.

Yuffie waved her finger from left to right, while staring at it.

Vincent polished his gun.

Cloud eagerly played with a paddle-ball.

Suddenly, Aeris snapped her head up, as if she heard something.

Everyone figured it was her talking with the writer, and payed no attention to it.

As if the conversation were over, Aeris switched her gaze to Cloud, who was still into his fun.

Slowly, she inched over to him, and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Cloud? Cloud."

No answer. She tried it again, but harder and louder, this time. "Cloud. Cloud!!"

Still nothing.*seriously...yeah, sure*

Feeling as if she were talking to a brick wall, her face hardened.*special thanx to Tamika for some of that!*

She was about to scream in his ear, but got a better idea.

Glancing around, she quickly whispered something in Cloud's ear. Something about what Tifa was going do.*yawn* When she finished, Cloud stopped playing, and the paddle-ball slipped absently from his hand.

He goofily darted his head in Tifa's direction. "She's gonna do whaaaat?"

Aeris glared at him. "I lied. As if you didn't know..." she started, slowly, and softly, "IT'S YOUR LINE!!!!!!!" she screamed, in his ear.

That knocked him over, in a crippled state.

Instantly, recovering, he leaped up and complained. "Why'd you do..."

"HERE!!" Aeris interrupted, as she shoved a script in his face. "Just say that, right there, ok? Let's hurry this up. I'm gone." she continued, as she stormed out the door.

Cloud scratched his head. "What's with her? Since when has she gotten so serious and time worried?"

"Ever since this part got started." Yuffie spoke up. "The writer's tired. It's 2:23 in the morning where she is!!"*yup, that's right.i write as much as i can*

Everyone blinked.

"Since when did YOU know how the writer felt, Yuffie?" Tifa asked.

"Since right now, cuz Aeris isn't here. You jealous?"

Tifa blushed, mildly. "No!"

"Are too!!"

"Are not!!"

"Are too!!"

"Are not!!"

"CAN YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP, SO WE CAN GET ON WITH THIS?!! CLOUD, READ!!" Aeris bellowed, popping her head in the door.

The tone of her voice made Cloud's heart skip a beat, as he fumbled with the script. When he finally got to the right part, he read, nervously.*i..think i spelled it right*

"Um....uh..Oh!! Where is Aeris?!! Where could she have gone? She may be in danger!!"

Everyone gasped. "Sephiroth!! She couldn't have!!"

"I must find her!!" Cloud stated, showing that he inoccently failed a couple of acting classes.*in other words,..he can't act woth..oops...worth anything!*

"If you are, I'm going with you!!" Tifa boldly stated. She glanced over at Yuffie and Vincent, who supposedly forgot their lines, and had adverted gazes.

"Ahem!!" Tifa shot out to them.

They looked at her, and shrugged, as if to say, they didn't know what to do.

Then Yuffie simply waved the choice away, then ad libbed of what sounded good.

"I guess we have no choice but to come with you." "Ditto"

Tifa raised an eyebrow. "What do you want from me, a medal?"*lame joke, folks*

"No. I want YOU to SHUT UP so WE can end this crappy story!! It's getting boring." Aeris yelled, coming back in the door.

"So are you." Tifa retorted, just to do something.

Aeris just glared at her, then rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to sink down to your EXTREMLY low -life level."

"Ooooh!! Aeris carriiiied yoouuu!!" Everyone taunted.

Aeris smirked slightly. "Now, you all hold hands, so we can get this thing done."

Yuffie made a face. "Ewww!! Why?!!"

Aeris glanced up tiredly. "Cuz we gotta make this seem real for the readers, now do it!"

Tifa sucked her teeth. "Don't boss us around!"

"I didn't, I told you. Now, grab hands and repeat after me. Close your eyes."

"Close your eyes." Everyone echoed.

"No! I ment for you to DO that, not say it!!"*say it!don't spray it!!*

"Well, make up your mind, already!!" Tifa snapped.

Aeris shot her a "you'll be sorry" glare. "Say, Ancient Teleport!!"

They all blinked. " 'Ancient Teleport' ?!!"

"Hey", Aeris started, as they began to teleport, "it worked for the Sailor Soldiers."*A.K.A.Sailor Scouts*