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Talladega in October is No Sweat
By Steve Wingate, TCGOB Publisher
Originally Appeared on Mike Calinoff's "Stock Car City"

For the past few years, the arrival of October in Alabama has meant the arrival of the Winston Cup Series to Talladega.  

It wasn't too long ago, however, that the 2nd Talladega race of the year was held in mid-July.  Now for those of you who have never visited Alabama, let me tell you…. The only thing hotter than mid -July in Alabama is mid-July in Mississippi.

Alabama heat is oppressive-- a soggy soup that drenches your clothes with sweat after just a few seconds of exposure, leaving you covered with a glistening sheen of sweat just like you see in movies.  I reckon filmmakers must think that sweating in the South is sexy and sultry because any character you see in a movie about the south there are characters carrying that sheen of sweat around.   That's pretty accurate, except that sweat never just rests on the skin and catches the light cinematically, and it's far from being sexy.  Instead, it gushes from every available pore in your flesh and no amount of fanning or mopping with a hankie does any good.  If you stay in one place long enough, you leave puddles of sweat large enough for livestock to drown in.

This is what you used to have to contend with if you wanted to attend a race at Talladega in July.  That, and the endless parade of stinging insects, gnats (the Alabama State Bird) and people who don't wear shirts.  Really folks, what is it about being at the race track that makes people want to peel their shirts off?  Nobody wants to look at puffy, raw flesh that hasn't seen a ray of sunlight since the last Talladega race.  I certainly have no room to talk…that's why I leave my shirt on.  Holding the race in October has certainly put a damper on that kinda stuff.  At least now they actually bring shirts with them, even if they do take 'em off after a few drinks.    And the only sweating you do at Talladega now is while waiting in line at the infield port-a-potty after consuming one too many chalupas.

And the cooler fall temps certainly make the hike to the track easier.  The track is about ten miles off I-20, and if you're really lucky, you'll get there in time to get a parking spot by the exit ramp.  This is the really primo parking space because you don't have to leave your car parked right in the middle of the interstate like everyone else does.  Traffic between Birmingham and Talladega generally backs up on the Tuesday before race day and doesn't move until sometime the following Monday, making it impossible to actually drive up to the track.  Not only that, but some bonehead always manages to turn an RV over on I-20 at some point during race weekend.  I made the mistake of trying to drive out to Atlanta during race weekend one year and was held in traffic for hours.  When I finally got close enough to see what was going on, I saw that there was an Airstream trailer laying on it's side across both eastbound lanes of I-20.  Standing on top of the wreck was some intoxicated individual happily waving to all the cars as they passed by.  Nobody was waving back at him.  Funny, seemed like such a friendly guy.  And yes, the guy was minus his shirt.  And one shoe.

And most importantly, the October race date for Talladega is safer for the fans.  Nobody has to worry about sunstroke, sunburns, or spontaneous combustion.  I've actually seen this happen at 'Dega in 1995.  That was the year that Sterling Marlin won the 500 in the Morgan McClure car, and it was reported to be one of the hottest ever.  I saw several fans simply burst into flames, leaving nothing but a pile of ashes and a ball cap.  Others just liquefied, and all that remained would be a pair or sunglasses floating around in a little puddle of goo.  I believe I came very close to this same fate because I had been sweating so badly that the folks around me were getting as soaked as the front row at a Sea World show.  I drank seven 20 oz bottles of water during the race, and didn't have to pee once.  It took me a week to get re-hydrated.

All of the bad things about Talladega aside, we Alabamians are proud of our race track.  We're proud of the fact that it's the biggest and the fastest, and proud of the fact that so many Alabama drivers have done so well there.  The week before race day is always festive around here…. you start to see the brightly colored haulers streaking up and down the highways and interstates…. show cars start turning up at every conceivable gas station, chain store, and supermarket, and local vendors and radio stations start handing out free tickets.  For two weeks out of every year, Alabamians forget about football and turn their attention to that 2.66 mile oval in Talladega County.  We invite every race fan to come check out our track and our state, and I'll even give you all some inside information on how to beat the crowds, how to get there and park right at the track and then leave without any traffic headaches….

Get there early…. like August, then leave after the National Anthem, or, if you're really daring, after the command to fire the engines.   


Author's Note:  I'd like to offer my apologies to Jen Vasco, who sent me some good NASCAR terminology in response to "Know Thy NASCAR Lingo" where I asked readers to send in their own wacky definitions.  I published all of the responses in "More NASCAR Lingo-- Readers Talk Back", but I forgot Jen's contribution, so here it is now:

track bar- the margarita stands at Bristol Motor Speedway
catch fence- what you lean on after too many beers so you don't fall onto the track.

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2001 Car Guy of Benchfield
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