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Janet Jackson's, Ebony Interview, Nov. 2001
WHEN EBONY IS TALKING YOU WILL SEE THIS TYPE
WHEN JANET IS TALKING YOU WILL SEE THIS TYPE
I understand that your mother (Katherine Jackson) saw your performance in New York (Though Janet initially had friends escort her mother out at a crucial point). What did she say about the sexy, erotic portions of the show?
She never mentioned it, so that is a good thing I suppose. I guess she has come to realize that -- not to disrespect her in any way -- but I'm going to do my thing. I'm 35 and I'm just going to do what I feel I need to do.
Recently you said that with the eroticism in your songs and performances, you are just bing honest about your own sexuality. What do you mean by that?
With each album, it (eroticism) has gone further and further. I will say that, and it is not for shock value, that it is just being totally truthful, being totally honest. And just expressing myself and being comfortabld with my sexuality and wanting to share that side of me, I guess, with the public. The album has been banned in certain countries... I was told they would be happy to go ahead with it if I were to take the sensual songs of the album. And I thought, 'Wow, that's weird.' Here I am talking about love and expressing myself in a way I feel at least most of us do in the bedroom, and it is something so beautiful, so positive and wonderful, yet they want me to put a blindfold over the public's eyes about this. yet there is all that violence... I am not oging to change the album and who I am because of that. this is another side of me that I am expressing and feeling so comfortable in doing so.
There've been questions about your sexuality. Some have asked if you're gay or bisexual.
I don't mid people thinking that I'm gay or calling me gay. people are going to believe whatever they want. Yes, I hang out at gay clubs, but other clubs too. I go where the music is good. I love people regardless of sexual preference, regardless of race. No, I am not bisexual. I have been linked to dancers in our group because we grow close. I grew up in a big family. I love being affectionate. I love intamacy and I am not afraid to show it. We fall asleep in each other's arms. We hug, we kiss, but there is nothing beyond that. Because René and I broke up, it's like people need some sort of drama, some sort of gossip.
You often say you are dating for the first time. How is dating going for you?
I'm horrible when it comes to dates. Being on tour, I haven't gone out, but God knows that there have been a couple of these guys from the audience that ... It is just a physical attraction ... I'm not looking for a relationship, not right now ... I keep saying I don't think I will get married again. I don't know what God truly has in store for me.
What makes a man appealing to you?
He would have to be truly understanding of what I do. It's hard because I think insecurities come into play, egos and things like that. Being an entertainer, that is really a difficult thing for a lot of men. I hear men say that they love independent women, but when it comes on another level ... It's really tough for some men, and to have that kind of understanding would be ultimate for me.
Granted, we all have our insecurities, and we're imperfect and I'm willing to deal with that. But when it gets to a certain point where it is unhealthy, I feel that I truly don't have time for that, because I'm trying to work my own thing out still. And i will always be working on myself, and I need someone who is willing, who is working on himself and continuing to grow and to carry his own and not depend on me. God knows if I am ever needed I will be there. That's a given. But I need someone to also be there for me, to be there for each other, to be able to carry his own. Because I am going to carry mine.
When you say "carry his own," do you mean emotionally, psychologically, financially?
I mean in all ways, but I definitely want him to be there emotionally and psychologically. That also means having the communication, being affectionate. All of that is so important to me. I am not a needy person. I think it is important to be there for each other, but I also think it is important to allow the person enough room to figure things out for themselves. And to let them be their own person, to let them grow.
Does he have to be rich?
No, I don't care about money, truly I don't. Because it's here today and as quickly as it comes, it can go. You have to know who you are, you have to be secure with yourself. You have to be grounded in that way to know that you could survive without it. Because as God has given me all this, and I am so thankful and so fortunate, He could take it all away tomorrow.
I've noticed that you often make references to God. How religious are you?
God is very important in my life. I didn't grow up in the church. I grew up a Jehovah's Witness, which truly is different. the first time I was in a church was when I actually got married to James (DeBarge) in Michigan (1984), and he took me to a church. And what an experience that was. I had never seen anything like it before. You know, seeing the people getting what you call the Holy Ghost. I had never, ever experienced any of that before. I grew up in a religious home. It's very important to me. If I were to have children, I would raise them with some sort of religious background. I don't necessarily at this point in my life believe in organized religion. It's more of a one-on-one relationship with God, talking with God and feeling Him and knowing that He is there and a part of me, a part of all of us. That is what has truly gotten me through these hard times, aside from my friends and family. It truly has been God and getting on my knees and not being afraid to do so.
Do you pray? Do you talk to God?
Yes, I do pray, and always have. I'm still working on it, but it has gotten a lot better. And honestly, more so than anything, going through what I did with René has truly, truly changed me a great deal. But I feel it is for the better and I'm not bitter about it. There are things that are hurtful and upsetting to me, very painful to me .... I have seen people who turn so bitter.
Obviously you are pretty upbeat right now.
Yes, I am. I still have my days where I get bombed out. I think that is natural for everyone. But trying to analyze it without getting too heavy and to know where it is coming from and now being able to do so because of all I have learned through the Velvet Rope period in my life. And understanding that and knowing that it will pass, and there are better days ahead and having that optimism. That is very important, and who you surround yourself with. The friends who I have, they are all so supportive. They are into spirituality, and into bettering themselves and growing as human beings, and that is what I love.
What lessons have you learned from this experience of your marriage and breakup?
Well, there are times when I felt completely blinded and -- how do I put this? -- my heart opened up in a different way. One thing that I have major issues with -- and I refuse to let it get me -- is trust ... And I can't allow myself to give in to that. If I do, I will miss out possibly some of the most beautiful relationships that God has in store for me. They may not last forever, but maybe I was meant to spend two years of my life with this person, six months with this person, five years with another. They may be some of the most rewarding, interesting, beautiful relationships, and I have to allow myself to be open to that. And to understand that some people aren't always going to be there.
You seem to harbor no deep negative feelings and wish René no ill will.
No. None, none. There are things in René'e life that he has always wanted to acomplish, and I've always wanted him to accomplish those things. I don't know if I was maybe a crutch in some sort of way, or if there was intimidation in some way because of what I had accomplished. He's incredibly talented, he's very smart and I want nothing but the best for him. I truly do. I have no ill feelings with all that is still going on. Of course, I want it ot be over and done with. It's ongoing and drags out, and you get tired of it.
It's sweet of you to have such a open heart.
i have some friends who actually call me crazy because of eveything that is oging on, and because the things they see that the public does not know. It's nobody's business, but they say, "You must be nuts," and I say "This is the way I was raised, and my mother has always taught me to forgive." I will never forget. I love him. I truly do, and he holds a special place in my heart.
You said "I love him," not loved him.
I do. I love him and I wish the best for him
If he came to you now and said, "Janet, I loveyou. I want to get back together," what ...
NO! I have moved on, and I'm not in love with him. I would be faking it, fooling myself as well as him.
Are you happy now? I know there have been periods when you were not happy.
I wasn't and I am now. I really am and feel like I've finally truly started to enjoy life the way it was truly intended for me to enjoy. But everything happens for each and every individual, I believe, in their own time.
You are very slim, skinny actually. Is it insulting when people say you are skinny?
No. But I have friends keeping me in check. They will walk in and say, "Honey, you need to eat something." They will tell me if I need to cut back too, and that is what I love ... I can look in the mirror and say, 'Oh gosh, I've gained weight," yet my friends can walk in and say I need to eat. So i know I have issues in that department. I have to watch myself. I don't know when to stop (losing weight). I hate to say that, but it's the truth
While we are discussing your body, did you have ribs removed to get that flat abdomen? That's what has been rumored.
No, I don't think you can do that, can you? I've heard that too. It's genetics. I've noticed that what definitely runs in my family are arms, butt, and thighs. With abs, like my brother Jackie, a lot of family just don't have to work as hard to have firm abs. If I diet properly, they come naturally. I guess I'm very fortunate. I have to work little harder to get definition in my arms.
What is your food passion?
I love soul food. I love catfish and greens and sweet potato pie, but I have to have my strawberries and whipped cream. I love it.
Have you ever had chitlins?
I tried it for the first time last Christmas. And I didn't like it. You know, I've never had smothered chicken or ox tails. There are a lot of foods I've never had (because she grew up in a vegetarian household).
Are you considering movie scripts now?
Right after the tour I'm definitely going to start looking at scripts again. i have never done an action film, and I would love to do something dramatic with a lot of action.
How would you describe yourself?
I guess as a work in progress and someone who is truly enjoying life and trying to learn all that I truly can from it. And trying to live each day to its fullest because tomorrow is never promised.
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