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Based on the SBS-TV cult Australian comedy "Pizza"

 

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ELLIE'S REDNECK WITH CHEESE

[Index]

REVIEWS

[Series 1]

[Series 2]

[Series 3]

[Movie]

[Erk's Sydney Stage Show Review]

[Ellie's Brisbane Stage Show Review]

REAL FAT PIZZA TOUR

[Series 1 Page 1]

[Series 1 Page 2]

[Series 2]

[Series 3]

[Movie]

STATISTICS

[Series 1]

[Series 2]

[Series 3]

[Movie]

 

Series 1, Episode 1

A Man attacks Pauly because Pauly delivers meat pizzas to his vegetarian wife who has left him as a result.  Pauly explains it is because the man lives on Beefeater Street and he gets confused. Pauly defeats the man with kickboxing and a rolling pin. Bobo makes Sleek remove the guy. Pauly 1, Vegetarian's Husband 0. 

 

Pauly then tries to enter a radio quiz ($20,000 prize) run by W.A.N.K.F.M but hits a bloke with his car while dialling the number on the phone. The bloke doesn't mind because he likes pain, much to Pauly's relief. After delivering to the Army Base, Pauly tries to enter the competition again while on the phone but runs into a bloke from Debster's Encyclopaedias from behind. The bloke comes out swinging but Pauly has got through for the competition. In between fighting the book guy, Pauly wins the competition.   

 

Later, Pauly delivers to SBS & sees Claudia McPherson. He also hears that Sleek has just hit the same guy he did earlier. His next delivery is to an S & M party (he calls it an M & S party) where the guests use him as their gimp. On his last delivery for the night, he is abducted by aliens before he can pick up his radio prize money.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 2

The episode opens with Pauly in the desert. He was abducted by Aliens. He tries to call Bobo but Bobo can't understand him. His mobile then dies. He goes through the bush seeing various mirages. He finds the road and finds Claudia McPherson's photo shoot but is refused a lift by Claudia's security (Vulcan from Gladiators). He gets a lift with a serial killer - Fancy Pants. Pauly defeats Fancy Pants by kick boxing him. He then appears on TV, telling the reporter how he caught the killer and begs Bobo for his job.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 3

On his first delivery, he is amazed to find a movie crew wants 5 cents change. While at the service station with the good kebabs, Pauly rings Sleek to ask if he wants a kebab and is asked by the service station attendant (Kamahl) to turn off his phone (the service station later blows up while Sleek's lawyer and Bad Actor's Lawyer are talking on the phone). His phone causes more trouble as he is fined by the Police for using his mobile while driving. On trying to tell Bobo about the fine (and to get Bobo to pay it for him), Bobo sends him out on another delivery to the Celebrity Auction and ends up the top bidder for Marilyn Monroe's underpants at 525 thousand dollars. 

 

He then goes to the Film Studio to deliver a pizza but stays to watch a scene involving Claudia. She finally gets the line right (after over 794 takes) but Pauly's mobile phone rings, ruining the shot. He has a fight with Brad Pitts (Pauly broke his nose). As a result, the producers cancelled the movie (this pleased them because it was running over budget and late.) As a way to say thanks, the producers fly Pauly to the US. However, he is on the plane talking to Sleek on his mobile and the plane heads towards the ground.  

 

 

Series 1, Episode 4

On his first delivery, he sees a diabetic having a fit on the ground. The man begs Pauly to inject him with medication but Pauly can't. He goes to a convenience store with syringe in hand for help but the shop owners thinks that Pauly is the wanted Syringe Bandit. They take to Pauly with baseball bats and he gets taken to the Police station. While being interviewed, they find the real bandit.

 

After he is released from the Police station without charge, the Hitman hired by Beefeater Street guy (from episode 1) shoots at Pauly, hitting his phone, his hat and bullet proof pizza bag (as well as one cop and one cop's hat). On returning to Fat Pizza, Beefeater Street Guy sees that Pauly is still alive and takes a shot at Pauly himself, which misses. Pauly's day ends up well with Sleek's strippers getting confused and stripping for Pauly, not that he minded of course.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 5

Pauly and Sleek are out together on a rare night off. While playing pool, a Nut tries to attack Pauly. Pauly reveals to Sleek that whenever the Nut sees him, the Nut tries to kill Pauly as he thinks that Pauly ran over his head in a dodgem car as a kid. On his most recently delivery to the Nut's place, the Nut had dug up his dead father and sat him in the couch with remote in hand. The Nut's mum begs Pauly to get the Nut's dad's body back to the graveyard but the Police are waiting at the hole. The Nut took the body back home and put the body into the Mum's bed, freaking her out and giving her a heart attack. Therefore, the Nut has no supervision and is after Pauly. Eventually, they make it to the first nightclub but Pauly is refused entry until rescued by Sleek. They are then thrown out for not taking off their shirts. 

 

While looking for food, Pauly meets up with a hot dog vendor. It turns out that in the plane crash at the end of episode 3, Pauly saved the guy's son from dying and that they were the only two survivors. Pauly then tells the story about surviving the plane crash. They go to another nightclub and are refused entry for being too tall. They then go to another club which Pauly describes as a Transtesticle Club - it appears as they have walked into a Transsexual Club and they meet up with a drunk Bobo. Pauly is disgusted. One of the regulars finds Sleek and dances with him. The episode ends with the Nut king hitting Pauly.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 6

Pauly has a great idea to meet women - he joins the Army Reserves as he saw Claudia on a commercial. Of course, she doesn't appear and Pauly appears to be a stooge. Not liking the Army uniform and way of life, he tries to cope in his most reliable way - fight his way out. However, instead of getting out of the Army, he gets further in and joins the SAS. Of course, Pauly stuffs up in training and the SAS want him dead.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 7

Pauly and Sleek go to the Gold Coast for a vacation after Bobo's misfortune. On the way, Pauly takes a leak on an electric fence and watches South Park while Sleek smokes some hash. On the way, Pauly tells stories on how he used to be a boxer, an Iron Man, founder of the Giggles (later known as the Wigglies after they kicked Pauly out) and saved the Pope from death. When they arrive on the Gold Coast, Sleek gets laid but Pauly loses his money at the casino and has to appear as part of The Village People to get back to Fat Pizza.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 8

Pauly tells the story of 2 horny koalas in his roof. On his first order, the woman blows up. On the second delivery, the guy needs CPR, which Pauly does with a vacuum cleaner and his foot.

 

 

Series 1, Episode 9

Pauly has a bad episode. His Ricky Martin CD burns up, he is used as a sex object in a women's prison and as bait by the Police.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 1

Pauly reveals that he did an insurance job on his car, which he promptly restored. He meets up with various people from his past, including his driving tester, driving instructor and Saddam Hussein.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 2

Pauly and Sleek go to the snow for some action. Pauly gets "stooged" by Sleek who gets all the women. Sleek tells Pauly that he is at the top of the mountain when he wasn't. With no Pauly on the scene, Sleek has his way with the 3 women he found. Needless to say, Pauly is not happy.  

 

Back at Fat Pizza after the snow holiday, Pauly goes to the Motor Registry and is involved in a siege. The siege ends when Pauly overpowers the gunman.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 3

Pauly's in trouble again. Instead of going to Surfers Paradise, Habib organises for him to go to Vietnam. Due to wandering hands, Pauly gets in trouble for air rage.

 

Like Bobo, Pauly thinks that Sleek has turned gay. Pauly is also convinced that everyone except for him is getting lucky.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 4

Pauly meets Bobo's new apprentice who soon starts telling Pauly's stories.

 

He is being sued by boxer Mike Titan for the cost of plastic surgery to reattach his ear. And when you think that things could not get any worse, they do.

 

He hits boxer Anthony "The Man" Mundine's new sports car. He also finds out that Sleek was killed on the Survivor challenge, only to find it was a faked death.

 

Pauly needs money fast. He asks the now undead Sleek for help. He goes on a TV show and is stooged out of a million dollars.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 5

Pauly spends a lot of this episode telling Habib about his lack of love life and feeling sorry for himself. He also has a whinge about Sleek and tries rapping. Pauly is also considering a career change.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 6

Pauly has been placed in charge of Uncle Shiba's ugly son, much to Sleek's disgust. The baby is only around 6 months old and weighs over 89 kilos already. Apart from that, it turns out that the baby is possessed by the devil. Pauly's not happy, Jan! Apart from that, someone steals his car while on the job and he is forced to catch a train to complete the delivery. The train crashes with Pauly the only survivor. He gets back to Fat Pizza to an unsympathetic Bobo. To complete another delivery, he is told by Bobo to take the Fat Pizza scooter - or as Pauly calls it, the Stoogemobile.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 7

Pauly has found a girlfriend but it is not without problems - she is convinced that Pauly is looking at other women and he is convinced that she is fat (I'll take her Pauly!). Sick of this problem and constant fighting, he plans to break up with her. However, he doesn't carry through with the deed and decides to get another girlfriend only to find that she has a father fixation and that the father is a mad cop.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 8

Pauly and Sleek are on their way to Melbourne while Bobo has closed the shop. Pauly tells Sleek about a previous trip to Melbourne where he had sex with a Pauline Hanson look-alike while drunk. He also tells Sleek about living in Canberra. Down in Melbourne with Sleek, he has a couple of run-ins with a taxi driver (played by Nick Giannopolos in the taxi driver character he played in Wog Story). He goes with Sleek to a nightclub and tries a Sleek pickup line about Panadol only to be given ecstasy. He then gets taken to a kinky lady's house for some kinky sex but gets busted. He tries to escape only to run into other people he had met earlier on.

 

 

Series 2, Episode 9

It is Anzac Day and Pauly is determined to march for his grandfather. Needless to say, Bobo is unwilling to play the same tune from the song book as Pauly and Pauly is off to work as usual. He makes a delivery to Parliament house and is evicted by Prime Minister Bob Howard during a strip show. While heading to the march in his Fat Pizza tracksuit and his Grandfather's war medals, he has a fight with an environmental bear and thinks about stopping an assassination of the Prime Minister until he learns that the PM was responsible for allowing planes to fly over Marrickville. After the Anazc Day march, he tries to get into an RSL and is refused entry. He sues for discrimination and is awarded $20,000 compensation. 

 

 

Series 2, Episode 10

Pauly and Sleek go fishing in a boat with bad results. Sleek tries to smoke some weed that is covered with petrol with a predictable KA-BOOM! As a result, they are left without a boat and have to survive in the ocean. Eventually they drift onto land which turns out to be a deserted part of Fiji and not Queensland as Pauly thought. Pauly and Sleek try to survive with little supplies but they end up fighting, claiming half the island each as their own. However, Sleek as usual strikes gold ending up at a resort and Pauly is left to live with nothing.

 

Back in the South Pacific, Pauly has a great idea to get saved - he places an anti-American message in the sand. This message is spotted by a Russian satellite who send a US submarine to pick Pauly up. They treat Pauly as a potential enemy and after he blocks the only working toilet, they torpedo him off the submarine, only to end up back in the ocean next to Sleek who has been evicted from the island. The resort staff eventually figured out that Sleek was using a fake credit card. Back in the ocean where they spent a lot of the episode, Sleek and Pauly discover a ship on the horizon. The only thing is, the ship is a French navy destroyer on nuclear testing duties. The French see Pauly and Sleek in the target zone and decide to nuke them anyway. Is this the end of our beloved Fat Pizza boys?

 

 

 

 

Page last updated 19 November 2001

 

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