Shirt…

...Attends A School Reunion

The What Shop were having one of their increasingly rare signings. The two advertised guests were from Series 2 episode – “School Reunion” – which featured the return of both Sarah Jane Smith and her trusty metal dog, K9. Signing would be Sarah Jane herself, Elisabeth Sladen, and evil Krillitane teacher Mr. Wagner (Eugene Washington). Therefore, consideration was given by the friends to breaking their usual embargo on The What Shop. In the end it was only Shirt that decided to attend, his resolve being strengthened by the addition of K9 voice-man John Leeson at the last minute.

Arriving for the signing a bit later than usual, expecting the usual short queue, Shirt was shocked to find two queues, one to buy autograph tickets and one to meet the guests. In fact the last time that he had seen such a long queue ironically had been for “School Reunion” guest star, Anthony Head (see CDS…Get A Head Start). Joining the queue for tickets, Shirt noticed a number of the usual suspects from Seventh Galaxy signings, as well as a large number of children with one or both parents (who presumably had seen the advert in “Doctor Who Adventures”). There seemed to be a distinct lack of information, but finally the family behind Shirt managed to ascertain that Eugene & John cost £10 per signature and Elisabeth £15. Photographs were provided, but personal items were not available in addition without further payment. Wishing to get his Series 2 poster signed, Shirt decided not to get the photos signed. The two fans in front of him then started moaning about the prices, without seeing the obvious solution – go home and don’t pay them. Another fan was umming-and-ahhing about whether he wanted to spend £15 getting his “The Time Warrior” video signed. It also seemed that the several families who only wanted to buy ‘Little Johnny’ a remote-control K9 after he saw it on the telly last week, were unable to do so until the signing had finished. They were therefore subtly directed to Seventh Galaxy.

Eventually a member of shop-staff came down the queue, selling tickets and photos. Picking ones of Sarah Jane & Rose, K9 being repaired by the Doctor, and one of Anthony Head with a slightly blurred Eugene Washington in the background. He then moved to the other queue, which had shortened somewhat. A few minutes later he was joined by a small boy who due to his red hair we’ll call Turlough, along with his mother and grandmother. Turlough seemed excited at the prospect of meeting Lis.

“Tom Baker’s my favourite Doctor”, he told Shirt.

“His dad prefers William Hartnell”, his mum chipped in.

“I don’t like him”, said Turlough, before adding, “because he’s in black-and-white!!”

Deciding not to ask his mother if he could adopt her son, Shirt simply burst into spontaneous applause.

“Who’s your favourite Doctor ?” asked Turlough.

“Colin Baker”, admitted a shamefaced Shirt.

Turlough simply gave Shirt a big thumbs down, before adding, “But I quite like Sylvester McCoy”.

Civilities resumed, Turlough asked if Shirt could name all the Doctors. Shirt neatly side-stepped this, getting Turlough to do the recitation.

“Can you say ‘The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe’ ?”, Turlough asked.

“Yes”, said Shirt (lying), adding, “and do you know where the Slitheen family come from ?”

“Yes – Raxacoricofallapatorius !!”.

Having reached the door to the shop, this badinage ceased, as Shirt managed to force his way into the very crowded shop, joining a short queue inside. As he passed, he idly noted the “Moxx of Balhoon” Action Figures for £24.99.

Reaching another member of shop staff, Shirt proffered his tickets.

“What do you want them to sign”, asked the woman.

“My poster”, said Shirt brandishing it.

“By all three ?”

As Shirt was about to answer, the woman was distracted by a small child attempting to run into the stock-room, which she managed to grab and return to its parent. Turning back to Shirt, she took the poster and gave it to Helen A who was standing nearby.

“He wants all three on the poster”.

“Well, we’ll get all three to sign it together, save you having to roll it up again and again”, Helen A smiled, in the way that suggested that she believed Shirt to be a regular What Shop customer.

The two people in front having finished, Helen A rolled the poster out on the table in front of the guests. Eugene and John looked particularly pleased, having been passed by the majority of the young fans that had gone before. Elisabeth Sladen was first, initially having trouble making her silver pen work, but eventually succeeding, going back to go over some faint parts. Eugene and John also signed, close to Lis, and all too soon, having exchanged no more than five words with the guests, Shirt was moving on, as more people were hurried in behind him. Initially finding impossible to exit the shop due to the large number of corpulent fans queuing at the till to pay for their autographs by credit card, Shirt finally made his way outside. It was threatening to rain, and almost as soon as he had slid his poster back into its protective tube (having checked that the signatures were dry), the rain began. Due to this sudden worsening of the weather, Shirt decided to only make a swift trip to Seventh Galaxy before making his way to Chalky and Tigger’s house.

There, and joined by Maple, the four watched the ‘shocking’ “The Girl in the Fireplace”, with its gratuitous kissing. Tigger began being rude about Sophia Miles, but this turned out to only be envy that she goes out with Mr. Tennant in real life. Chinese food was eaten, and then, due to the fact that there were four of them, “Cranium” was produced, and two hilarious rounds were played, before all wended their ways home.

[PL]