Shirt…

...and the Maltese Musketeer Manoeuvre

CAROLINE	MARK	SHIRT	ROBERT	ROBIN

Seventh Galaxy had arranged a signing for the new Large Endings’ CD “The Church and the Crown”, set in Musketeer France, featuring the new Fifth Doctor team of Peri and Erimem. To Shirt’s annoyance, Ms. Bryant would not be attending, but this was short-lived due to the news that the lovely Caroline Morris (Erimem) would be attending instead (along with co-author of the CD and fill-in actor, Mark Wright). The friends had met Ms. Morris before (see C,D,S….A Sting in the Tail ), but due to Large Endings not revealing she was to be the new companion, had not got her signature in their overflowing “Companions” books. Shirt therefore was keen to go, but Dufus decided to remain in Birmingham, Chalky had something “better” to do with Tigger (involving a Captain Hook costume – don’t ask !!), Enigma was uncontactable, and Lupine was suffering a minor cashflow problem.

As the date approached, two other signings were announced at Seventh Galaxy, for the same day. Firstly, audio penguin and “Battlefield” guest-star, Robert Jezek would be signing “The Maltese Penguin”, the special Large Endings’ film-noir spoof featuring Frobisher, originally only available to subscribers, now available to a wider audience. Secondly, the mysterious Mr. Harris from the Large Endings’ “Sarah Jane Smith” spinoff CDs, in the person of Robin Bowerman (who had also recently guest-starred in “The Sandman”), was also to be there, signing the conclusion to the first SJS season – “Mirror, Signal, Manoeuvre”. Even these new guests could not persuade Chalky to join Shirt (but he dropped off the appropriate sleeves for signing), and so it was a lone Shirt that headed for Seventh Galaxy.

A surprisingly simple journey found Shirt at Seventh Galaxy earlier than usual, looking at a short queue. Aware that it was early, not stars from the TV series, and that a large convention was going on not far away, Shirt was not altogether surprised. Walking in and picking up the requisite CDs, Shirt went to pay at the counter. As Little Ted took his money, Big Ted engaged Shirt in conversation, the main topic being the absent Dufus, and his annoying habit of ‘phoning up several times a day to change the delivery address for his standing orders. Shirt sympathised, telling him that he and Chalky had a similar problem with Dufus. Joining the queue, which had already reached five, Shirt slowly read the “MDW Sixth Doctor Special” and “Shockeye’s Kitchen” that he had also purchased. An hour later, and there were now a whole four people behind him. At this point, Big Ted came out to tell the “crowd” that all the guests were now here, and were just signing pre-orders. He then proceeded to entertain the queue with tales of the long-running feud with “the other place”.

Finally, the queue began moving, one person at a time being allowed into the shop (to make it look like there were more people). On his way in, Shirt was informed by Poppy that due to the “large” number of people there was no restriction on number of items to be signed. The smiling Caroline Morris was first, looking more attractive than Shirt had remembered. Signing Shirt’s “C&C” cover, she then happily signed his “Companions” book, instinctively knowing to sign by India, Maggie, Lisa & Robert’s signatures. She also seemed to know who most of the others were (“Attractive and knowledgeable about WHO” sighed Shirt internally, briefly forgetting all about India and Nicola). Signing Chalky’s “C&C” cover and “Companions” book, Ms. Morris enquired after the absent chum, accepting Shirt’s “Don’t ask !” without further comment. Shirt asked Caroline if she was looking forward to recording any more, and her enthusiasm for being part of WHO was clear in her excited response, particularly about her next (space-based) adventure.

Moving on to Mark Wright (who amusingly signed his “C&C” cover “All for One”), Shirt also offered “The Fearmonger”, as well as the three “Earthsearch: Mindwarp” covers. At first, Mark denied being in “E:M – Chapters 2 & 3”, but after looking at the cast-lists, admitted he was, vowing to get in touch with Jason Haigh-Ellery about his royalties and complimentary copies. Picking up “Chapter 2”, Caroline asked if the cover picture was of India (“Mmm, she knows India !!”, murmured Shirt), Shirt responded in the affirmative. A conversation then ensued about the parts played by Mark in Large Endings’ audios – goes mad, is tortured, dies, dies.

“Have you not taken the hint yet ?”, Shirt asked the good humoured Mark, causing a giggle from Caroline, as Chalky’s “C&C” cover was signed by Mark, before Shirt moved on to Robert.

Robert signed Shirt’s “Maltese Penguin” cover with a flourish, as Shirt gushed about how much he had enjoyed it, before starting on the pile of the covers that Shirt had placed before him – “Minuet in Hell”, “The Ratings War”, “Ghost Town”, and Chalky’s “MP”. Whilst signing “Ghost Town” (his foray into the world of Sarah Jane Smith), he commented on his lack of a credit for the second part that he played in the drama, a Romanian scientist-cum-butler (whose accent Shirt decided not to comment on). Robin Bowerman was next, and signed the three “Sarah Jane Smith” audios that he is in, commenting on the large amount of space Terrance Dicks has taken up with his signature on both Chalky and Shirt’s “Comeback” covers.

“That’s writers for you”, commented Shirt, causing the man behind him to whisper “But Mark Wright’s a writer”, not having been party to the earlier teasing of Mr. Wright’s acting.

Robin also signed Shirt’s “The Sandman” before revealing that he only got the part when someone else dropped out. He also revealed two other nuggets of WHO trivia – 1) He was an extra in the theatre scenes in “Talons of Weng-Chiang”, 2) He is related to cheetah-person and voice of Bernice Summerfield, Lisa Bowerman (Shirt decided not to ask exactly how for fear of offending Mr. Bowerman).

Leaving the shop, with a new favourite pair of Fifth Doctor companions (and I don’t mean Tegan & Turlough), Shirt wended his way slowly back to meet Chalky and Tigger for a meal, picking up a few Christmas presents on the way.

[PL]