Shirt…

…Takes The Mickey

Christmas was fast approaching – cue the release of the “Doctor Who: Complete Series 2” DVD boxset. Naughty Asteroid arranged a signing for said DVD featuring Rose Tyler’s ex-boyfriend and Series Two companion, Mickey Smith, in the person of Noel Clarke. Financial constraints on other gang members meant that only Shirt made his way up to Naughty Asteroid through pouring rain, arriving a mere hour before the signing was due to start. However, the weather seemed to have scared a lot of people off, and Shirt passed only a short queue on his way into the shop to purchase items, before walking round the outside of the store to the queue.

The rain continued and Shirt struggled to remain dry under his umbrella. In front of him were a young girl (who we’ll call ‘Young Rose’ due to her vague resemblance to the girl who is making a career playing the young Billie Piper, including in “Father’s Day”) and her mother (who for completeness, we’ll call Jackie).

Jackie turned round to Shirt.

“A shop assistant gave us this umbrella”, she told him surprised at such kindness from someone in the big city (it becoming clear that they had come up from the coast).

Shirt nodded and agreed with her, whilst Young Rose ate a roll in the shelter of a nearby doorway.

Then - wonders of wonders – the rain stopped !!!

Consequently a mass of people suddenly appeared, seemingly from nowhere, to join the queue. As with the Billie Piper signing a month before [see CDS…A Rose By Any Other Name ], the queue seemed to be made up of both new young fans, and obsessed old fans, including someone that Shirt recognised from “Sutton Whos”, who had brought his guitar to the signing as he was on his way to a music audition.

Jackie seemed to be keen to engage Shirt in conversation.

“Do they have many signings here ?”, she asked.

Shirt told her about the Storybook authors signing, the Elisabeth Sladen signing, and the signings at Seventh Galaxy.

“The only person’s autograph that I ever got was Paul McCartney’s”, said Jackie.

“Who’s Paul McCartney ?”, asked Young Rose.

Jackie looked aghast, whilst Shirt and the two fans behind him laughed uproariously.

“I feel so old !”, said Jackie, before admonishing her daughter, who it seemed had a Beatles tape.

It also seemed that she had also once met Max Bygraves, but had been a little put off when on noticing her new wicker bag, he had asked her if she kept pigeons.

Not realising that this was the wrong time to ask following her McCartney gaffe, Young Rose attempted to persuade her mother to take her to Hamleys after the signing, by jumping up-and-down and saying ‘please’ a lot.

Attempting to make peace, Shirt asked Young Rose which were her favourite episodes.

“ ‘The Long Game’ and ‘Bad Wolf’ “, were her surprising replies.

“Anything set on Satellite Five then”, Shirt noted.

“She’d love ‘The Ark in Space’ and ‘Revenge of the Cybermen’, then”, added the fan behind.

Then on time, the doors opened, and the queue began to slowly edge towards the door. As they approached, it became clear that Jackie had not yet purchased the DVD, which her husband (‘Pete’?) was paying for. Having reassured her that it would be available inside, they edged still closer.

Finally, Jackie and Young Rose reached the door and entered the shop, moving off to buy the DVD. A minute or so later, Shirt also entered the shop.

“How come it’s colder in here than it is out there ?”, asked Shirt shivering.

The queue moved slowly, due to Noel taking time to talk to a young fan dressed as 1950’s Rose. A few minutes later and Young Rose was stepping up onto the stool provided to be level with Noel, who happily signed her boxset and “Doctor Who Files: Mickey” book.

Meanwhile, Shirt was checking with the assistant that there was a silver pen for Noel to sign his poster.

Young Rose and Jackie moved off, and Shirt moved his items in front of Noel.

First up was Shirt’s “Companions” book.

“Can you sign it to Shirt, please ?”

“Where should I sign ?”

“Next to John Barrowman, please”

Another companion added to the list, and Shirt was getting the booklet from his boxset and his “Doctor Who Files: Mickey” book signed. He then unfurled his Series 2 poster, getting Noel’s signature over the TARDIS. Having momentarily lost his Series 1 DVD booklet, Shirt moved on, having shaken Noel’s outstretched hand.

Leaving the shop, Shirt struggled to force his poster back into the cardboard tube, before boarding the train to wend his way home.

[PL]