Shirt…

…Being Human.

Having decided to forego “Invasion” for the first time in nearly a decade, Shirt made a last minute decision to attend Collectormania Midlands, which was being held at the same hotel that he and Dufus had attended for “Bad Wolf 2008” (see D&S…Attack of the Giant Noel Clarke), the weekend before “Invasion”. The main motivating factor was two of the stars of Shirt’s newest second-favourite sci-fi/fantasy programme, “Being Human”. The fact that Russell Tovey and Lenora Crichlow had also been in new WHO settled the matter. Shirt had also found how easy it was to get to the signing location, having passed it on several occasions in the past few weeks when travelling to Birmingham to test a new computer system for his new role at work.

Having fought against the Sunday engineering works, Shirt made his way to Euston and the train to Birmingham International. The journey was spent in listening to Large Endings’ “Kingdom of Silver”, which unsurprisingly featured the Cybermen. Following the map that he had printed from the event’s website, Shirt left the station, walking swiftly through the ENC complex, and pushed his way through the crowds queuing up to enter “The Gadget Show LIVE”. Once outside the complex, he found the path through a small wood that led to the back door of the hotel. Making his way to where he remembered reception being, Shirt stumbled across the hall where the event was taking place. Entering and paying his entry fee, he was given a voucher entitling him to a free autograph from Ian Hilditch, John Barrowman’s stunt double in “Torchwood”.

Deciding to start with Mr. Hilditch (before he lost the voucher), Shirt moved over to his signing table, where a small group of girls were just moving away. In what was to be a common sight that day, Shirt struggled to sort out his cardboard tube of posters, finally extracting the “Torchwood” one for Ian to sign. A quick tour of the stalls and signing tables revealed Katy Manning, who had been billed as being there only on Saturday. However, David Morrissey who had also been billed as Saturday only was not there. Joining the short queue for Ms. Manning, Shirt proffered his Iris Wildthyme – Season 2 CD boxset which he had brought in case Katy was there. Cue Katy’s ‘amusing’ Northern accent, as she signed the box, adding “Ecky Thump” to her signature. She also professed having trouble remembering her own name, telling Shirt that she is getting so into her one-woman show as Bette Davis, that on occasions this has been the name that she has signed. Shirt smiled indulgently remembering the gang’s own experience of Katy’s problems with names (see C,D&S…As Seen on Video).

Seeing only a short queue, Shirt moved over to queue for Lenora Crichlow, struggling to extricate his Series 3 poster from the tube. There was a long queue for the table to his left for someone that Shirt didn’t recognise. Then the steward standing behind the guest moved to reveal the board with his details - Ke Huy Quan, ‘Short Round’ from “Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom” and ‘Data’ from “The Goonies”.

‘If only Chalky were here’, thought Shirt.

Reaching the front of Lenora’s queue, Shirt gave into temptation and paid for two autographs, one on his poster and one on a “Being Human” publicity shot featuring Lenora and Russell. Lenora seemed impressed that at least one person remembered her being in “Gridlock”. However, she was more impressed when the fan behind Shirt had a copy of the “Being Human” DVD that wasn’t due out until the next day.

Shirt attempted to join the queue to his right for Russell Tovey, but was told that it was temporarily closed, as both guests were leaving for lunch at 1pm. He was told to come back half-an-hour later, at 12.45pm, when the queue might be reopened for a few people according to progress of the existing queue. Shirt therefore moved around the stalls, purchasing a few photos of actors playing Sherlock Holmes, and some ‘Battles in Time’ cards.

Returning at the instructed time, Shirt and nine others were allowed to join the queue for Russell.

Five minutes later, and the girl in front of Shirt being so taken with meeting Russell that she almost forgot her signed photo, Russell was signing Shirt’s Series 4 poster and “Being Human” photo.

Shirt couldn’t help but noticing that absolutely no-one was queuing for Lenora, and she was sitting there staring into space. Russell on the other hand was doing a roaring trade, and had an excellent array of photos for fans to choose from – “Being Human”, “Doctor Who”, “Little Dorrit” & “The History Boys”.

Items signed, and Shirt wandered around the stalls again, purchasing a “Voyage of the Damned” photo mounted with four film cells. Then as the time reached 1pm, the doors at one end of the hall were thrown open to allow access to ‘Autographica’, an event running concurrently in an adjacent hall. Shirt therefore followed a small rush through to the other hall, and following a cursory glance at the stalls, moved to the only guest that he wanted an autograph from – Angus Lennie, ‘Angus‘ in “Terror of the Zygons”.

Placing the “Terror” video cover down on the table in front of Angus, Shirt paid the steward next to him for one autograph.

“Can you sign it to Shirt, please ?”, he asked politely.

“It’s already there”, said Angus, jabbing at Tom Baker’s dedicated signature.

“I just thought I’d confirm it”, said Shirt.

There was a long pause.

“I don’t understand”, said Angus, looking very perplexed.

Shirt was about to repeat his request when Angus decided to put his reading glasses on.

“Oh, that’s Tom Baker. I haven’t signed it !”, sighed Angus, clearly having mistaken Tom’s signature for his own, and therefore become confused why Shirt wanted him to sign it again.

There was another long period of silence, whilst Angus struggled to slowly write his name on the cover, almost engraving it given how hard he was pressing with the pen. (Oh and after all the fuss, he didn’t even dedicate it, but Shirt decided to let this go).

Exiting the hall, and making a brief diversion to get a hot-dog and chips in the canteen set up for both events, Shirt made his way back to the station. Initially he was perplexed by the large number of people passing him with electrical goods, until he again had to push his way past the crowds entering “The Gadget Show LIVE”. Catching the next train to Birmingham City Centre, Shirt spent the rest of the afternoon visiting the Bull Ring and Naughty Asteroid, where he spent some of the vouchers that he had kindly been given at his work leaving do a few days before. Catching the 5.30pm Megabus back to London (unlike two other travellers, whose 5.15pm to Liverpool never came), Shirt relaxed to the strains of Katy Manning’s Northern accent and David Benson’s Noel Cowardesque ‘Panda’ in the first of Season 2 of Iris Wildthyme – “The Sound of Fear”.

[PL]