Chalky and Shirt…

…Hhhhhhancock’s Hour-and-a-Half !

Seventh Galaxy were hosting appearances by William Hope, star of “Aliens” and the new Large Endings release, “Renaissance of the Daleks” (where they apparently sculpt David, paint the Sistine Chapel and fail to make the Mona Lisa smile), and star of FOUR Doctor Who stories and Space 1999, Prentis Hancock.

Shirt was surprised that Chalky was attending. He had presumed that the Invasion VII convention the week before (see CDS…Invasion VI) had been Chalky’s last gasp at signings (Sara Griffiths notwithstanding), what with his impending mortgage and subsequent lack of money. However, Chalky was quite keen to meet the legendary Prentis Hancock, although he didn’t even know who the other bloke was so decided to save money by getting the CD release from away.com at another juncture. Prentis had starred in two Jon Pertwee stories; “Spearhead from Space” and “Planet of the Daleks”, and two Tom Baker stories; “Planet of Evil” and “The Ribos Operation”. Having dug all of these covers out of the cupboard that his videos were currently languishing in due to being temporarily homeless, Chalky arranged to meet Shirt in London. They had decided on a leisurely journey, based on the minor nature of the guests and the fact that the last few signings attended by Shirt had been fairly quiet.

Arriving at the shop at about 11.15am, they found a relatively short queue. Chalky joined it to save a place, just in case a longer one was found in the shop and Shirt disappeared to purchase his goods. A few minutes later he emerged with the requisite items and the new DW Spinomatic game, slightly delayed by having had a chat with Little Ted about the recent convention.

Chalky headed for the shop and after picking up the next Bernice Summerfield release he needed headed for the counter to pick up the requisite photograph of Mr. Hancock (which was of his rather small role in The Ribos Operation, as oppose to either of his larger roles in either of the stories featuring the word, ‘Planet’).

Little Ted took the items and gave Chalky a knowing smile. Chalky had been spending the week voicing his opinions about the recent convention on Inbox Skaro and had been in communication with Little Ted on the forum.

“We like you really!” pleaded Chalky.

Little Ted proceeded to tell Chalky not to worry and that he was glad people said what they didn’t like (and did like!) so that he could improve future conventions on the basis of their opinions. A conversation about bad interviews, celebrity kids and communication issues unfolded until Chalky realised a small queue was building up behind him and he said his goodbyes to Little Ted to join the queue (promising that they all still intended on going to Invasion VIII).

Rejoining the queue, Chalky joined Shirt in listening to Extra Item Guy gloat about meeting Billie Piper and share his stalker credentials by stating that he knew where the stage doors of all London theatres were.

At 12 o’clock the queue failed to start moving, but by 12.15 Prentis and William had clearly finished signing pre-orders and were ready to meet the amassed fans.

The queue shifted fairly quickly for about five minutes but then stalled. Nothing seemed to be happening for a good 10 minutes with no discernible reason and then the movement began again.

Reaching the front of the queue, Chalky and Shirt were finally beckoned in by Starling by giving them the victory sign (he probably meant next 2, but at least he didn’t put his fingers up the other way!).

Joining the queue inside the shop Chalky looked at the table to see who was first as he wanted to avoid the embarrassment of by-passing William Hope. William was second, but Chalky was confused by the long-haired, bearded man who was first.

“Is that Prentis Hancock?” he whispered to Shirt. Shirt looked past him, but was none the wiser (not being very clear on who Prentis Hancock was anyway).

Chalky looked again and got a better look at his face and decided it was Prentis, albeit with more hair on his face than a Cat Nun.

The queue was moving quickly (and therefore providing no obvious reason for the hold up earlier on) and Chalky was soon in front of Prentis Hancock. A quick signing with little comment of his photograph, “Planet of Evil” and “Planet of the Daleks” covers over, Chalky moved on and slipped quietly past William Hope, in the ‘hope’ he wouldn’t notice. Shirt followed quickly and after getting Prentis to sign his photograph, “Planet of the Daleks” and “Ribos Operation” covers, moved on to William. Shirt had recently purchased Aliens (which Mr. Hope featured in) for £3 in a HMV sale, planning on selling it on for profit on ebay once Mr. Hope’s signature was emblazoned upon it. (Shirt, mercenary, never…) His Renaissance of the Daleks signed, Shirt was about to join Chalky when his attention was grabbed by the fan two behind him, who had produced a “Pirate Planet” cover with a flourish, which he then proffered to Prentis.

There was a short silence.

“I’m not in that one”, said Prentis.

The fan did a double-take, looking at the cover again.

“Oh”, he said, “I meant to grab ‘Ribos Operation’ but must have gone one video too far to the right”.

Prentis offered to sign the cover anyway, but the embarrassed fan snatched the cover back and moved on.

‘Four covers that he could have brought and he brings the wrong one’, thought Shirt, finally rejoining Chalky who had just restrained himself from slapping a group of 11 year olds who had exited the shop ahead of him voicing their opinions of Seventh Galaxy loudly: “This shop is for nerds!” was the general theme of their unimaginative rantings as they returned to whatever chavvy hovel they had crawled from in the first place. Exiting the shop, Shirt looked at his watch – 12.45pm.

After purchasing some sandwiches, Chalky and Shirt jumped on the next train home, parting ways at Victoria for Chalky to meet up with Tigger and Maple (and buy a Dalek Cookie Kit from Sainsburys) and for Shirt to browse his old hunting grounds on Notting Hill (he disputes that he’s stalking Nicola Bryant).

[AE]