Dufus & Shirt...

...Shut That Door !!!

It was time for another Spirit Sinema ‘Signing Spectacular’. Dufus ensconced in his new home was up for another such jaunt, particularly as it also meant that he could partake in Shirt’s birthday celebrations taking place later the same day. Therefore, he made his way down to Shirt’s on the Friday, arriving later than planned due to traffic on the M25.

The next morning, both Dufus and Shirt were late risers, putting paid to a proposed detour to Naughty Asteroid prior to the signing. [A Seventh Galaxy Events event had also initially been advertised for the same day, but this suddenly changed into a Private Signing for the one announced guest]. Having a little time in hand, they proceeded to waste this, having to rapidly grab their items for signing, and jump into Dufus’ car to race to the station. Having found a space right at the end of the car park, Shirt jumped out and ran over to the ticket machine to purchase a pay-and-display sticker, which he handed to Dufus, before running to the station reception area to add credit to the Oyster card that Dufus was to use. However, before he could do so, the train rattled into the station, and Shirt could see Dufus haring it down the car park. Tapping in with his debit card, Shirt managed to jump on one carriage, whilst Dufus stumbled into the next.

“I’ll move to your carriage at the next stop”, mouthed Shirt through the door between the carriages.

The train began moving, but as it finished pulling out of the station, there was a loud noise as Dufus burst through the connecting door.

“The door”, he said breathlessly.

Shirt initially thought that he was referring to the connecting door, still flapping on its hinges, but Dufus clarified matters.

“The passenger door of my car is wide open”, he added, finally getting his breath, after his panicking on seeing the sight as the train passed by.

Realising that it had been him that had left the door open, Shirt felt very guilty.

The two of them therefore got out at the next stop, where luckily there was a train back in 2 minutes.

Pulling back into the station, Dufus’ car seemed untouched, but Shirt still ran swiftly over the bridge and back to the car, slamming the offending door (10 minutes too late). Dufus then locked the car, whilst Shirt succeeded in adding credit to the Oyster card.

Stepping onto the next train (which in retrospect they should have just waited 15 minutes for), they made a second attempt for Chiswick.

On arrival at Clapham Junction, all seemed fine, with a train to Chiswick signposted in 15 minutes. Dufus therefore took the opportunity to get some money out of an ATM, before walking to the platform. However, when the train became due, the sign suddenly declared that the service was delayed. There was a period of around 10 minutes without further information, during which Shirt attempted to come up with an alternative route, but finally about 15 minutes late, the train pulled in, and they were off again.

Walking to the church hall, they found the signing had begun. Handing over their booking e-mail, Dufus and Shirt were both given an A4 print of Alister Pearson’s ‘Trial of a Timelord’ video-boxset design, amended with replacement images from some of the relevant Target novelisations.

Both paid for the autograph tokens that they needed for the first session, and moved into the main hall, joining a queue for the first guest that they wanted, Michael Jayston, who seemed to be having a heated political debate with his steward. Just as the two reached the front of the queue, Michael was expressing his dislike of Diane Abbott. However, breaking off from his diatribes, he happily signed prints for both of them, as well as the CD sleeve for his audio reading of ‘The Ultimate Foe’ (for Shirt) and ‘The Sixth Doctor: The Last Adventure’ (for Dufus). Both having their photos taken with the 12½th Doctor, they moved on, briefly looking at the merchandise table for a guide to the Jeremy Brett ‘Sherlock Holmes’ series and a double CD of Barnaby Edwards reading ‘Professor Challenger’ stories (both of which Shirt had indicated Dufus could buy him for Christmas).

Next up were William Thomas (Gwen’s dad in ‘Torchwood’ and guest star in ‘Remembrance of the Daleks’ and ‘Boom Town’) and Mike Elles (‘The Face of Evil’). DVD sleeves signed, the two moved off. There was no sign yet of Morris Perry (‘Colony in Space’), but 1980’s regular monster actor (and PC Stamp from ‘The Bill’), Graham Cole had just arrived.

First up was Shirt, who got Graham to sign his already bursting ‘The Eighties’ book, before posing for a photo.

Copycat Dufus put down his own copy of ‘The Eighties’ and was praised by Graham for seemingly having more signatures than Shirt (not realising that Shirt had both the front and endpapers signed). Another quick photo and they were milling about waiting for Morris Perry.

After about five minutes, Morris Perry finally arrived, and they managed to be reasonably far up the resulting queue. Morris was slowly signing any ‘Colony of Space’ merchandise put before him, as well as posing for photos.

“Are they allowed to have photos with me ?”, he asked his steward as the person before Shirt moved away.

“It’s up to you”, replied the steward.

Shirt placed down his item, a slightly blurry publicity photo of Morris as ‘Barrymore’ in the 1982 BBC ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’.

“Is that me ?”, asked Morris, jabbing at the very impressively bushy beard of his character.

“Yes, it’s you as Barrymore in ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’”, replied Shirt, adding “with Tom Baker as Holmes”.

Morris appeared to have no recollection of this job, but commented, “If my performance was anything like my make-up, it’s probably worth seeing”.

Shirt then tentatively asked for a photo with him, which Morris nodded to.

Photo taken, Dufus got his ‘Colony in Space’ DVD cover signed, before Shirt took his photo with Morris. Walking away, Dufus forgot his DVD cover and Shirt was called back to collect it for him.

Having got everyone that they wanted in the first session, they went up the road to buy lunch, which they ate sitting on the church wall, before retracing their steps to the nearest bin outside the mini-mart where they had bought the food. Having bought autograph tokens for the morning.

The afternoon session took its time to get going, with several guests arriving but swiftly making their way to the ‘green room’. Finally the guests began re-entering the hall and sitting at their respective tables.

Dufus and Shirt were in a sort-of queue for Hugh ‘Captain Hastings’ Fraser, who apparently appeared as a Militiaman in ‘The Smugglers’, which suddenly became more of a queue on Hugh’s arrival.

Shirt was first to meet Hugh, getting him to sign his ‘All Consuming Fire’ cover (in which he plays Sherlock’s brother, Sherringford).

“Do you like crime fiction ?”, asked Hugh, indicating copies of two thrillers authored by himself.

Expecting this, having seen Hugh flogging them at a previous appearance, Shirt asked the price and then picked up the first in the series, getting it signed, before posing for a photo with Hugh.

Dufus was next, getting a Poirot photo signed, and buying the second thriller as a late Christmas present for Shirt, getting it suitably inscribed, before posing for his photo.

Moving to the right, they joined a queue for Hugh’s Poirot co-star, Philip ‘Inspector Japp’ Jackson. Unfortunately Philip’s performance in ‘The Contingency Club’ with Shirt’s favourite audio Holmes, Clive Merrison, was not being released until the next week and so was not available for signing.

Shirt was first, getting Philip to sign a DVD sleeve for the underrated comedy drama ‘Cruise of the Gods’, a satirical look at ‘fan cruises’ in which Philip played the formerly alcoholic creator of a 1970s sci-fi programme which was one part ‘Blakes 7’ and one part ‘Survivors’.

“That makes you Terry Nation”, commented Shirt, as Philip raved about the production, describing it as one of his favourites of his career, and fellow cast members who have gone on to greater things such as Rob Brydon, David Walliams and James Corden.

“Russell Brand was also in it”, Philip told his steward.

“Briefly”, added Shirt, knowing that Mr. Brand was sacked from the production.

“Yes, for multiple reasons”, confided Philip, whilst posing for a photo with Shirt.

Dufus then placed down his Poirot photo and a ‘Brassed Off’ DVD cover, which turned out to be another of his “favourites”, with Philip promoting a future Royal Albert Hall screening featuring live musical accompaniment from the Grimesthorpe Colliery Band. Photo taken, and they were moving off from the ‘Poirot’ guests.

Next was Ann Davies, who signed ‘The Dalek Invasion of Earth’ DVD covers for both, then Andrew Boxer (who had failed to attend a previous event) who signed ‘Arc of Infinity’ covers.

The final signatures were from Peter Benson, guest star in ‘Terminus’, but in more recent years better known for being Bernie Scripps in ‘Heartbeat’. Covers all carefully stowed, they made their way back to Chiswick Station, being just in time for a train back to Clapham Junction, changing to make the journey back into Shirt’s home station for the second time that day.

Returning to Shirt’s home, Shirt set about sorting out things for the evening’s festivities, which were themed around ‘Classic British TV Sitcoms’, including putting up visual clues to sitcoms, a list of anagrams, multiple DVD box-sets, and photos of Shirt with sitcom stars. Both then retired to their rooms to dress as classic sitcom characters. First out was Shirt as Frank Spencer from ‘Some Mothers Do Ave Em’.

Zygon Curry was the first to arrive, dressed as Rene Artois from ‘Allo Allo’, closely followed by Enigma as Geraldine Granger from ‘The Vicar of Dibley’, Chalky and Tigger as Stan and Petula from ‘dinnerladies’ respectively, and finally Lupine as Manny from ‘Black Books’. After a ridiculously long wait, Dufus finally emerged as David Brent from ‘The Office’. A night based around the ‘Classic British TV Comedy' DVD board game ensued, with another excellent cake from Tigger.

[PL]