Endorsement Situation at Jambalaya Park
Park Sponsors Hunt Marquee Bears!
The surest sign of success. The rub of
the green. Young NBA franchise the Jambalaya Bears have begun to
attract the scent of industrial giants with their growing bevy of
marquee young talent.
The list of commercial suitors lengthens with every lottery pick added to the Bears' impressive stockpile of young guns. Each report filed below is a concrete example of the marketability of the Bears in today's somewhat "bearish" economic climate...
Bears Captain elusive commodity!
The Jambalaya Bears' 25 year-old captain and franchise player - Jagger Bear is the prime candidate for corporate sponsorship. An All-Star talent hotly coveted by cross town neighbours and Western Conference Champions-the Fabulous Equity Cats (FEC). The 1994 No.1 Draft pick, Perennial All Star, two-time NBA scoring leader and 1997 Defensive Player of the Year is arguably, the hottest catch in the league.
Jagger Bear has refused endorsement offers from Nike, Coca Cola, Visa, Honda and Price Waterhouse, to name but few industry giants in hot pursuit of the signature of a player worth US$40mil a year. A slightly bemused Bears Director of Operations - Margaret Thatcher Bear was quoted by inside sources as asking the reclusive Bear why he hasn't "gotten hitched" yet. A thoughtful reparte from the oft-caustic captain,"I don't believe I've found the right one yet."
Peca Bear proves equally elusive to sponsors!
Corporate sponsorship didn't have to look far down the Bears depth chart to unearth their next endorsement target. YAF Bears all-purpose small forward - the league's most "versatile" player has attracted interest from Capitol Records CEO - Monroe Uy, Sony Records Chairman - AJ Syyong, Toyz R Us Teaching Director - Rosie Wee and property mogul - ZO - whose reported holdings include the Jambalaya Bears franchise itself.
The sought after small forward was interviewed on site at Cedar Springs Camp where Peca is part of a core group of NBA All-Stars organising a skills development retreat. "I truly haven't been able to create time in my schedule for extra endorsements other than the ones I'm doing for Coach Uy, Iron Lady Bear and Roz Bear. In fact, the current Roz Bear ad "Don't Volunteer Becos it Sux" (DVBS) has taken me away from the Retreat work and between those two events, I'm all tied up in knots."
Kahuna Bear Ads a Roaring Success!
Bears' rising young rebounding star - Big Kahuna Bear has topped the headhunting list in at least two areas. The 1996 top high school draft prospect has repeatedly refused endorsement calls from Choir Bears Coach Uy for 2 minute solo parts. Kahuna was reported as telling Peca Bear that he doesn't see his role as a go-to player and the ads would conflict with his carefully nurtured image as a stay-at-home rebounder. Peca has confirmed that fact in a wide-ranging interview conducted at Cedar Springs.
Kahuna has also rebuffed strong attempts by Dairy Queen to market the young star's image. Dairy Queen Marketing Director - Baby Duck Bear has confirmed with CNNSI that corporate interest has been expressed. Ms Baby Duck elaborated that Kahuna's ice-cool persona appealed greatly to Dairy Queen. Kahuna has emphatically stated there was no chance of him reconsidering his position. Insiders say the deal has been dead for a long time.
One sponsorship deal that Kahuna did agree to was the Roz Bear ad "Don't Volunteer Becos it Sux" (DVBS). In the ad, Kahuna played a Professor of Marine Biology in a Gilligan's Island setting. The wildly successful ad series also starred Bears young power forward Keebeen Bear as a geeky treasure hunter, and WNBA stars Mabel and Maria Bears. The ads have apparently introduced Kahuna and Keebeen to a "new generation of fans" nationwide.
Farm hands make endorsement pitches!
In a story that shocked a nation and a league, it was reported in the Richmond Review last week that Bears farm team fringe players - Pyjama Bear and Weed Bear have been making under-the-table pitches for sponsorship. CNNSI learned that leading Computer Engineering Design Manager of "Otter"ware Corp - Nana Bear has been repeatedly stalked and harassed by Weed Bear.
In unrelated developments, CNNSI learned from Sprint Canada records that Pyjama Bear made weekly unsolicited calls to Snowflake Realty Enterprises heiress Snowflake Bear from spring 1996 through to 1998. The lawyer for the young heiress issued this statement to CNNSI : "We confirm the interest made by Pyjama Bear. It is however, not in the best interests of our clients, to entertain prospects of a formal partnership. We have therefore requested that Pyjama Bear cease and desist all attempts to pursue solicitation and we have obtained a Court Order to enforce our position. No further comments at this time."
The 1998 No.1 Draft Pick receives early endorsement interest.
Reuters reported yesterday that new Bears franchise cornerstone Chipmunk Bear has begun to attract noteworthy corporate interest in only his 2nd month as a Jambalaya Bear. Chip Bear has already been signed to an indefinite endorsement deal with Choir Coach Uy, a deal that was first reportedly offered to Kahuna Bear. The deal requires solo ads and possible partnership with Coach Uy's other endorsing stars - Keebeen, Nazi and Peca Bears. Coach Uy's swift success in inking the multi talented star was seen as a major coup and marketing triumph for the oft-beleaguered coach.
Chip Bear has also garnered interest from unnamed groups reportedly keen to sign the NCAA star. Cantopop Bear has confirmed interest in signing the shy, brooding heartthrob. In a separate development, Snowflake Realty Enterprises would not confirm nor deny its interest, saying merely that it was "monitoring" the situation.