Vancouver B.C. - 1999 began with a BANG! for the NBA YAF Bears. Coach Adolf Bear announced his resignation to a shocked Jambalaya Board. A prepared statement read,'I have been very fortunate to have had a chance to work with a talented and coachable group. However, I feel called to coaching development in Third World areas and will be taking up a Director of Coaching position with the Binondo Forty Niners headquartered in Manila. I will be responsible for training up young coaches to be sent into inner city districts where poor but talented teens can benefit from a structured coaching environment and develop their fundamentals.'
In an equally polite prepared statement, Board Chair Seraphim Lim had this to say,'The Jambalaya Bears Board would like to extend our appreciation to Adolf and Eva Bears for their hard work with the YAF Bears and we wish them every success in their new groundbreaking endeavours.'
BCTV Sports reporter Squire Barnes nabbed YAF Bears captain Jagger Bear for this players perspective,'I...I...well... ..what can I say..I...I...(Godfather scratch of face...wave of hand...) HEY RICHARD!! YES YOU! GET OFF THE TABLE YOU APE! ...sorry Squire...where were we? Oh yes...players comment...well what can I say...(wave of hand)
The Jambalaya Board took almost NO TIME in landing a replacement coach for the YAF Bears. Husband and wife coaches Team Ong were announced at a GM Place news conference. Board Chair and Jambalaya Official Spokesman Seraphim Lim reported that Team Ong had recently coached the Discipleship International Bears to a Western Conference Title and had a coaching record of 231-95. Team Ong will continue with the Discipleship Bears in a dual supervisory role. Said Lily Bear,'We are used to wearing many hats. We look forward to working with the YAF Bears. Hi boys and girls.... if you like jelly beans please raise your hands...We're going to play a game based on jelly beans...are you ready?'
PLAYER MOVEMENTS
The arrival of Samson and Lily Bears aka Team Ong brought an unexpected boost to the YAF and WNBA Bears. Daughter Jennifer Bear was signed as a free agent 2 guard. YAF Bears captain Jagger Bear shared this analysis to Province hoops reporter Howard Tsumura. 'Jenn Bear is a fabulous addition. She spots up well for the midrange Js and has a fluid transition game. Exactly what we need at the 2 spot. She sees the floor well and is vocal on-court.'
YAF Bears were further boosted by the addition of free agent Greg Bear. A friend of Kahuna Bear - NBC Sports had this college scouting report on Greg Bear. 'A superb outside shooter. Impeccable on-court temperament, unruffable in the David Robinson tradition. Good soft hands, has athletic ability in the paint, has good mobility in transition and has the size to bang the boards at both ends.'
WNBA Bears analysis of Greg Bear. 'AAAAAAAAAAA.......is he single? Oh my gosh....oh my gosh....he smiled at me!!!!!!!!!'
KAHUNA BEAR STEPS UP
Kahuna
Bear................
1999 was a breakthrough year for lovable YAF Bear -- Big Kahuna. Like Garth Brooks, Kahuna has decided to explore the dark side of his persona and is now aka........Darth Bear!
.......anyhoo...Kahuna Darth or...Darth Kahuna...put up 'bright' numbers for the Jambalaya Bears in the 1999 season......... ....leading the league in offensive and defensive.................... rebounding.....and starting in the 1999 NBA All-Star Game - held for the 2nd time in 3 years at the Trinity Western Forum in Langley B.C. Kahuna's dominance of the boards earned him the designation 'Vice-Chairman' by the tag-hungry paparazzi. The clean-living vice-free 'LUMINA-NT' Bear followed up his glowing All-Star appearance with another flawless performance in his hallmark endorsement ad for Toyz'R'Us 'Delegated-to Volunteers-Becos-i'm the Supervisor' (DVBS). The week long shoot has now become educational material for corporate training gurus in Resource Management circles across North America.
JAMBALAYA PARK WELCOMES BACK HONDA BEAR !
Crowd Favourite......
Jambalaya Park B.C. - The JAM Bears welcomed the return of popular veteran swingman HONDA Bear....from his year-long stint with the Golden State Warriors. Honda Bear.....aka...VW Bear returns with a vastly improved penetration game. Said VW Bear from his Malahat resort...'The skills program down there really took my penetration game to the next level. It has become the centerpiece of a successful TV ad campaign. You must have heard of it..'Drivers Wanted' ? I was actually the replacement for the ultimate lane driver....Latrell Sprewell Bear who unfortunately mauled the driving instructor. I really liked it there but the Warriors have a cashflow problem there and I did what was right for VW Bear and came back.'
VW Bear's return was great news to YAF Bear's franchise point guard Chipmunk Bear. 'Honda-VW Bear and me...we go a long way back man. When the lane opens up, I'm a-gonna hand-off sweet-like and know my bro is gonna get the job done...y'-know'wha'm sayin? Him and me we got this serious chemistry going. We're better than Juwan and Webber.' Him's the best 2-guard in the league...and I'm da best point guard in the league...urrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' - CNNSI News
Vancouver B.C - In other roster moves, the JAMBALAYA Bears released long time role player Weed Bear who signed as a free agent with the Minnesota Timberwolves. Said Weed Bear in a phone interview, 'I've enjoyed my time with the YAF Bears but when the T-Wolves came in for me, it was an opportunity to take my game to a more spiritual level. I'm very happy here in St. Pauls.' Besides gaining a veteran guard, the T-Wolves also picked up a preaching player in the mold of a Reggie White. 'Warm-up Communion' has become a feature of T-Wolves game opening show with Weed Bear administering the elements complete with robe and dangling jewelry. Move over.....Deion Sanders....
JAM PARK FACELIFT!
Jambalaya Park B.C. - JAM Park's home court received a brand new addition in November 1999 - a new wing that has been earmarked as a skills development facility for its farm teams - SALT and Sunday School Bears. PARK Chairman - Seraphim Lim said in a press conference today on CTV Sportsnet, ' The New Wing is the platform for the emergence of a new generation of JAM Bears. It is the springboard for our organization into the new Millenium.' ....( overheard off camera 'George....get that down in writing and put that in our next set of marketing ads ... that has such a great ring to it!')
One Big Happy Family
JAMBALAYA PARK 1999
