You Are Old Father William
by Lewis Carroll
(1832-1898)
(Charles Lutwidge
Dodgson )
Illustrations by Sir John Tenniel (1820-1914)
"You are old, father
William," the young man said,
"And your hair has
become very white;
And yet you incessantly
stand on your head--
Do you think, at
your age, it is right?"
"In my youth," father
William replied to his son,
"I feared it might
injure the brain;
But now that I'm
perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again
and again."
"You are old," said
the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And have grown most
uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a
back-somersault in at the door--
Pray what is the
reason of that?"
"In my youth," said
the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs
very supple
By the use of this
ointment--one shilling the box--
Allow me to sell
you a couple?"
"You are old," said
the youth, "and your jaws are to weak
For anything tougher
than suet;
Yet you finished
the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray, how did you
manage to do it?"
"In my youth," said
his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each
case with my wife;
And the muscular
strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest
of my life."
"You are old," said
the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was
as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced
an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so
awfully clever?"
"I have answered
three questions, and that is enough,"
Said the father.
"Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can
listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll
kick you down stairs!"
¤º°`°º¤øø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤øø¤º°`°º¤øø¤º°`°º¤øø¤º°`°º¤øø¤º°
Acrostic (First letter of each line spells Adelaide Paine)
"Are you deaf, Father
William!" the young man said,
"Did you hear what
i told you just now?
"Excuse me for shouting!
Don't waggle your head
"Like a blundering,
sleepy old cow!
"A little maid dwelling
in Wallington Town,
"Is my friend, so
I beg to remark:
"Do you think she'd
be pleased if a book were sent down
"Entitled 'The Hunt
of the Snark?'"
"Pack it up in brown
paper!" the old man cried,
"And seal it with
olive-and-dove.
"I command you to
do it!" he added with pride,
"Nor forget, my
good fellow to send her beside
"Easter Greetings,
and give her my love."
1876