The Book of the Heavens (by Kalten)
Welcome to a new page for the AFE Codex. I have the honour to host a short (but very funny)
story written by Kalten. If you have any questions regarding this story, or just want to
tell him how good it is, mail him at Cyberkalt@aol.com
Chapter I : The Beginning
The gods had just finished putting the final touches
to, what we know as, the Great Western Sea
and were sitting in divine paradise sunbathing
whilst sipping cans of Sola Cola.
Nedra was in the usual process of getting process
of setting up the great hall for a game of cards
when Belar came up with an idea.
"How abouts we move one of the snooker tables
outdoors into space, right above World Belgariad
and have a game there, just for a change? I'm
getting a bit tired of playing Snap."
Belar was a young god at the time and easily got
bored. No-one bothered to argue and so a snooker
table was moved from the halls of paradise to
the open space right above the newly built world
of the Belgariad.
Micro-seconds later, everything was setup and ready
to go. This was promising to be another nice
"As per usual," said Nedra. "The rules of competition
are as follows, all seven colourless balls
(Cthrag Transparente's) must be potted first, followed
by the divine colours in the following sequence:-
cthrag notrelevente(yellow), sardius(orange),
dante(green), solarus(brown), yaska(blue),
sindy(pink) and finally guru(black)."
Nedra flipped his seven sided Rubik's Cube into the air.
It landed neatly in the centre of the snooker table.
"Black! Brother Torak, looks like you're first".
Torak took to the table. After chalking his cue (one
which he had got autographed by Steve Davis), he
moved the cue ball into a strategic position,
ready to break.
Twas an awesome shot, worthy of the mightiest
snooker player. The Cthrag Yaska crashed
straight into the Cthrag Sardius with
mind-boggling impact which tore the fabric of
space dividing prophecy into light and dark.
Alas for Torak, both balls tumbled
off the table and headed straight towards the
world of the Belgariad. Whilst one ball
was on course to bury itself into Mallorea, the
other headed towards Sendaria to break
Faldor's window. Sometimes I wish Belar
had just kept his mouth shut.
"I'm afraid that's a foul, brother mine." Said
Nedra to Torak.
Suddenly UL appeared in a puff of smoke.
"What hath all thouest done? The division of
prophecy! This cannot, must not be!"
"Ah, but it is, Father of Gods", said the Dark
Prophecy speaking through Torak. "The division
is now complete".
"Yes.", agreed the Light Prophecy speaking through
Aldur. "That which was one is now two. And
we can never be rejoined again unless. . . "
". . . unless the holy prayer '2 become 1' is sung
above the skies of World Belgariad. However,
this song can only be found in a place
called 'Earth'.", said the Dark Prophecy. "Alas,
no-one who has gone to Earth has ever returned.
The holy song itself can only be found in the mind
of one of the descendants of House Atreides. Five
seers from the spice planet Arrakis currently live
on Earth; they are known as the Spice Girls and only
they hold the key to restoring our universe."
"So what should we do now?", said UL.
"Behold", said the Light Prophecy, "In the day that
thou is greeted by one of thy monsters shalt thou
hold the key to the realm of Earth. Choose carefully
which of thy sons shalt take up the quest, for he may
"I'll go.", said Aldur.
"I wouldn't wannabe in your shoes" commented Belar.
"Dost thou accept this responsibility freely?", asked
the Dark Prophecy.
"Yes", said Aldur.
"Then go! Go down to the World Belgariad. A seed
has been planted there which will grow in years to
come. It shall hold some of the answers that thou and
thy brothers have been looking for.".
"That's all?", said Aldur, "Just go down and wait for
a tree to grow?".
But the prophecies had departed.
"Don't question the words of prophecy, brother mine",
said Belar. "Just say you'll be there.", he added with
Aldur threw his cue stick at Belar hitting him squarely
on the nose.
"Ouch! Mama! Help!", squealed Belar running off.
"My sons! Thous hast all been partly responsible in
the division of reality into two different possibilities.
Thou are all nowst charged with rejoining those
possibilities. Aldur, thou shalt depart immediately
for World Belgariad. The rest of you, do as you will,
but be ready when I call upon thee. And do not
touch the snooker table again. The game has yet to
be played out, and I foresee the prophecies coming
back to finish the game.".
And then, UL too departed.
Chapter II: The Tree in the Vale Of Aldur
A long time ago, after UL had spun the world out
of nothingness (is there such a word?), a single
seed was planted on a randomly selected piece of
Aldur decided to watch this tree grow and built
his tower here. He marked the outer perimeter
of this land with urine and called all that lay
therein 'The Vale Of Aldur'.
The following summer, a small plant began to
grow where the seed had been planted. Aldur
looked at it, trying to make out what type of plant
Over the next few years, the tree grew taller
and taller. On the eve of the tree's sixteenth birthday
UL descended down from the sky.
"So my son!" he said to Aldur, "Have thouest
guessed-est what this tree is and what it doth
"Is it a beanstalk?" asked Aldur. It would be nice to
have a gateway to heaven right in the middle of
Vale Of Aldur. After all, beaming up gets a little
tedious after a while.
"Nay son' said UL. 'This tree will be the first of its
kind. It is here to represent long life in mortals and
will be the ultimate grandparent to a child that will
be known in the distant future as
'The Queen Of The World'."
"How is it possible that a tree can be a Queen?"
"This tree is but half of one of the 'monsters' that
thou and thy brothers have created. The female
part of this species is known in the Ulgo language
as 'dryad' meaning 'good looking female monster
which likes sweets'. It is..."
UL suddenly stopped in mid-sentence as if paralyzed.
The voice of prophecy spoke out through UL's lips.
"Behold, in the day that the Angarak sacred texts
speak of 'Scully' and 'Mulder' shall Ce'Files reveal
herself to thee. Guard well the ultimate dryad,
for she shall have no brother. Seek her out,
Beloved Master for she will come only once.
And despair not, if thouest does not understand.
Remember that, the truth is out there".
"Father?", said Aldur. "Are you okay?"
"Yes son. Now listen son. Thou must seek out
the she-dryad Ce'Files".
"I understand Father. What did the prophecy mean
when it talked about 'Scully' and 'Mulder'?"
"Aldur my son, thy brothers' last creation was man.
Each of your brothers in the process invented a language
for them to speak. The words come from thy brother
Torak's Angarak language. The word 'Scully' means
much the same as the Ulgo word 'dryad'. The word
'Mulder' means 'he-dryad'. It doth not translate well,
but it doth refers to the tree."
"I see. When do I leave?"
"Now, Aldur. I must go. Take care my son". And
then he was gone.
Aldur sighed as he turned south and started walking
towards the lands of his brother Torak...
Chapter III: Aldur
Aldur was walking slowly in a southernly direction.
His quest was to find the she dryad Ce'Files.
The words of prophecy were swirling in his mind.
'In the day that the Angarak sacred texts speak of
'Scully' and 'Mulder' shall Ce'Files reveal herself
Hmm. . . thought Aldur. If he was ever going to
find Ce'Files, he was going to have to find the
Angarak book which mentioned her.
This wasn't going to be easy. Maybe it wouldn't
hurt to get a little help.
He called out to the prophecy. 'Are you there?
Can I talk to you for a moment?'
'What is it, Aldur? I'm busy!'.
'Can you give me a few pointers as to how I
should go about starting this task of mine?'.
'Go south to the High Places of Korim where
your brother is currently jibber jabbering.
You'll know what to do when you get there.'
'Okey dokey dukey' said Aldur quoting one
of Belar's favourite replies.
Summoning forth his divine powers, Aldur
teleported himself outside the High Places
High was an understatement. The temple of
Torak was situated the highest mountain of
the Korim reef.
Luckily for Aldur, he had bought along a bottle
of Gummi Berry Juice. Uncorking the bottle,
Aldur took a long drink out of the bottle. A silent
bell (ding!) could be heard in the background
signalling that the juice was working. Within
seconds Aldur had bounced his way up to
the top of the mountain.
Just in time to hear Torak going into a trance. . .
'. . . and they shall number 12, the Swords of Power.
For twelve is a lucky number. And with these
Swords shalt great destructive power be bestowed
upon thee. Go therefore to the lands of
Saber-Haven. . . '
Aldur suddenly noticed scribes writing down
everything Torak was saying.
Yes! thought Aldur. All that Torak had said
was down on paper.
'. . . however, the Swords of Power shalt aid
thee not in thy search for Scully. . . '
What was this? A mention of Ce'Files?
'. . . .not Wayfinder nor Farslayer can seek her
out. . . only the Chosen One will find her. . . '.
Great! thought Aldur. Big help there
Aldur listened for a few minutes more but
it was apparant that Torak was talking
He sighed and decided to call it day. Turning
northwards, he laid in a course for the Vale
of Aldur, warp nine and set off at godspeed.
He was soon out of Cthol Murgos, flying
past Nyissa and on the way home. It was whilst
he was getting towards Tolnedra when he
noticed a very odd looking tree.
Aldur stopped to observe the tree. What had
caught his eye was the fat that it looked like
a larger version of the tree in the middle
of the Vale of Aldur. It looked different and
yet similar, if that were at all possible.
Suddenly he heard a small noise behind him,
like the sound of a squirrel scampering. He
turned round to see a the most beautiful
girl he had ever seen. The girl held a bow
in her left hand. And in the right, she held
an arrow against the taut string. The arrow
was pointed straight at Aldur.
'Well hello there!' she said, 'I've been
waiting for you.'
She lowered her bow and dropped it to
'Why don't you come in for some tea?'
she said. She turned towards the tree
and said 'Open'. A part of the tree moved
revealing an opening.
The girl entered and disappeared inside.
What have I got to lose thought Aldur
as he too entered the tree. . .
Chapter IV: Ce'Files
Aldur found that the inside of the tree looked
similar to the inside of his own tower back at
the Vale. Thinking about it, he couldn't
really see why it should look any different.
"So," said Aldur, "You're Ce'Files?".
"How very perceptive of you", said Ce'Files
smiling at him.
"Why are you here?" said Aldur.
"I'm moving house. The Vale got a little boring.
Not much chance of getting a mate there. So
I decided to move down here next to Tolnedra."
"What I meant was, 'What is your purpose
in the universe?'"
"Did the prophecy not tell you? I'm supposed
to be the ultimate great grandmother of the wife
of the Godslayer"
"Yes, Godslayer. Did you not know? Your brother
Torak was a mistake. A direct result of the division
"But my brother Torak CAUSED the division of
prophecy by smashing the power orbs."
"No, not really. Your brother simply caused the rift
to grow further. Anyway, enough chitter chatter.
our job is to go to Earth and check in on your
"I don't have a brother Eriond" objected Aldur.
"You do now" said Ce'Files. "I'll explain on the
Ce'Files climbed to the top of the tree. It was a long
climb as the tree reached high into the sky.
As they reached the top, Aldur began to wish he had
brought along a second bottle of Gummi Berry Juice.
"Are we there yet" asked Aldur.
"Nearly" said Ce'Files. "We just climb up this ladder
which hangs down from the clouds."
"Hangs down from where?"
"The clouds. It is a gateway to the land of Earth.
We climb up this ladder and enter a dimension
gateway which will transport us to Earth. When we
get there, we'll just climb down the ladder
there onto the tree there. By the way, the tree
on Earth is called the Faraway Tree.
Over there I am called Silky the Pixie."
"Something's just occurred to me", said Aldur.
"Why do you need to come along? Why did the
prophecy not give me instructions to go alone?"
Ce'Files giggled. "There's something that you and
me have to do together. But also because, I am linked
to the tree here on World Belgariad. Had you come
alone, you would not have the means to return. You
are a god back home, but on Earth, you are a god
no longer. Keep that in mind."
"Oh right," said Aldur. "So because you are linked,
you can always take us home?"
"Sort of. For safety reasons, I have cast the dryad spell
of re-union over myself and over the tree back at home.
If we do not return to World Belgariad within four hours,
the spell will activate and me and the tree will be re-united.
Because you are with me, you will also be taken along."
"Oh right, but how do you know that it won't be the
tree that gets teleported to this place?"
"Because, dear Aldur, magic is stronger in World Belgariad
and also because I cast the spell back there and not here.
Just trust me."
Aldur and Ce'Files climbed up the ladder into the clouds.
It was not what Aldur had expected. There was nothing
there except doors. One was labelled 'Earth'.
Ce'Files opened the door and taking hold of Aldur's hand
she walked through to the other side.
"That's all?", said Aldur. "Now we're on Earth?".
"Sort of", said Ce'Files. "We've still to climb down
the ladder yet."
Aldur and Ce'Files climbed down the ladder to reach the
top of the largest tree Aldur had ever seen.
"How'd you like it?", asked Ce'Files.
"It's . . . ginormous.", said Aldur.
"Come on!", said Ce'Files taking Aldur's hand again,
"I'll show you where I live here".
Ce'Files guided Aldur down to a small house situated
a quarter of the way down the tree. Ce'Files
opened the door and led Aldur inside.
"What do you think of my house?", she asked.
"It's beautiful. Is this where you originally come
Ce'Files looked at her watch. "We've got to go. We
haven't much time.".
"Where are we going?"
"First, to get a copy of the song '2 become 1' to repair
your world. Second, to make contact with Eriond. Lets
Ce'Files began climbing up the tree again.
"Why are we going up again?", asked Aldur.
"Wait and find out." replied Ce'Files with
They reached the top again and Ce'Files
opened the door to the house there and went
inside. Aldur followed and saw immediately why
they had climbed back up the tree. There
was a big slide in the centre of the room which
Aldur assumed reached the bottom of the tree.
Ce'Files grabbed a cushion, went to the slide
and slid off.
"See you at the bottom", shouted Ce'Files.
Why me? thought Aldur as he followed
Chapter V: Eriond
Aldur and Ce'Files arrived at the bottom
of the tree.
"God! That was fun.", said Aldur.
"I didn't know you gods used the term
god like that", said Ce'Files. "I mean,
don't you guys say 'Prophecy, that was
fun' or something?"
"Just a figure of speech, ", said
Aldur, "Besides, I'm no longer a god
whilst on this world, right?"
"So, where now?"
"We go to HMV. They usually sell all
"Okey dokey", said Aldur.
Ce'Files led Aldur into town the usual way
via the local bus, and soon they were at
the music megastore HMV.
Ce'Files picked up the single '2 become 1' by
the Spice Girls and then went on to pick up
a couple more.
"What are those?", asked Aldur curiously.
"The first one's 'A Whole New World by
Tim Rice sung by Regina Belle and Paebo
Bryson'. I wanted to give to a friend of mine."
"Do I know him?"
"Maybe. His name's Bhelliom. Although
everyone calls him Worldmaker."
"And what's your second CD?"
"Oh, that one. It's called 'Wake me up, before you
go go' by Wham. When played, it has a calming
effect on those with a bad temper. In the far
future there will come two who are infused by
the prophecy of light."
"And. . . ?"
"I don't want to tell you too much. Simply that
there will come a day when some close friends
will leave them in the middle of the night leaving
only a note behind. This music is intended to calm
them down a little bit."
"Calm them down? It would cheese me off more than
anything. Wake me up before you go go indeed!".
"Ah, but you know what the words mean in English.
On World Belgariad, it is a different matter".
"So. . . ."
"Enuff chit chat. We have two hours left. Lets go
check on Eriond. He's currently at the Warner
Brother cinemas. At least, that is what it says in
The Book of Torak".
"How do you know that? Torak hasn't said much."
"I just know what someone writes when they write
it, no matter where I am. It's a godly trick, so
you should be able to do it. I'll teach it to Eriond
someday. It may come in handy."
"I'll take your word for it.", said Aldur.
Ce'Files paid for the CD's with a few bits of metal
and then took hold of Aldur's hand yet again and
started walking out of HMV and towards the cinema.
"Do you know what my brother Eriond looks like?",
"No. But it will come to me. I found you didn't I?",
They arrived at the cinemas shortly and Ce'Files paid
for a couple of tickets to see 'Star Wars'.
"Why 'Star Wars'?", asked Aldur.
"Because you don't want to see 'The Empire Strikes
Back' until you've seen the first film." replied
Ce'Files with a laugh. "Actually, it's because the Light
Prophecy told me to go to the screen with the most
people in it. It increases the chances of success.".
"I see", said Aldur dubiously.
They walked into the main foyer and bought some
Butterkist popcorn and a couple of large Coca-Colas.
"No Sola-Colas I'm afraid. Just mortal food here".
"That's okay, I can get used to it".
"Shall we go in?"
They walked into the main screen and took a couple
of seats on the back row and waited. Within minutes
the cinema was packed full of people.
"I can't see him.", said Aldur. "How will you know
"Dunno", said Ce'Files. "I was hoping that he would
"How long have we got left?"
"About one hour. About halfway through the film
we'll be pulled back into World Belgariad."
The film started ten minutes later after a few trailers.
Aldur started to get fidgety as time was slipping
Luke Skywalker was currently trying to use his
lightsaber to hit a ball in a training session.
OB1 was saying, "Luke, feel the force. Close your
eyes and concentrate. The force is strong in you Luke.
The force will be with you, always. Use the force
Luke, use the force. . . ".
Suddenly in one small corner of the cinema, Aldur
saw a glow. He looked sharply in that direction and
saw a small boy of about seven years old totally
absorbed in the film.
Just then Aldur felt a tug.
"That's the spell signalling us to get ready. We're going
back to World Belgariad.", said Ce'Files.
"Wait!", said Aldur. "I've located Eriond and I know
what I am supposed to do.".
"Hurry then, the spell is already beginning to translocate
us. Part of yourself is already forming back home".
Which means that I'm a god again, thought Aldur.
What the hell, let's give it a go. Aldur threw his thought
to the young boy.
"Remember Eriond, the way home is through the Horse.
Remember to use the Horse. The horse, Eriond,
the horse . . .remember to use the Horse. . . the Horse
be with you, always. . ."
And then he was back at Ce'Files' tree.
"Did you get through to him?", asked Ce'Files.
"I think so! I remember him looking in my direction and
"Good. Then now we can finish off the remaining task."
"And what is that?"
"To test the song '2 become 1' of course".
"How do we go about doing that?", asked Aldur.
"We simply play the music. The rest will tend to itself".
Ce'Files switched on the CD player and inserted the CD.
Moments later the voices of the Spice Girls could be heard.
. . . candle light and soul forever. . .
. . . a dream of you and me together. . .
. . . say you believe it. . .
. . . say you believe it. . .
Aldur felt a sudden longing to hold Ce'Files. He looked at
Ce'Files who was sitting next to him and saw that she was
experiencing similar feelings.
As Aldur put his arms around Ce'Files, he found that a part
of his body began to throb acknowledging Ce'Files'
It wasn't long before they were making love, totally
oblivious of their surroundings.
_And done_. A voice sounded in their heads.
"What was that", said Aldur.
"Nothing",. said Ce'Files. "Just that we've completed
our tasks for the time being. It's about time you went
home. Your father will be waiting for you".
"Good-bye Ce'Files. I'll come down again sometime.".
And then Aldur stepped out of the tree and
headed towards the Vale. . . .
Chapter VI: Belgarath
Aldur arrived back at the Vale to find UL
waiting for him.
"So, my son", said UL. "Have thouest retrieved
the holy prayer '2 beccome 1'?"
"Yes father", said Aldur handing over the CD.
"Good work my son. I have now another task
"And what is that father?"
"A mortal named Garath will seek thee out in
a hundred years time. Prepare the vale for
his coming and teach him the ways of the
will and the word. In time he shalt become thy
disciple and will aid thee greatly.".
"It will be as you say, father".
And then UL was gone.
Just over a hundred years later, Belgarath arrived
at Aldur's doorstep.
You're late, thought Aldur as he welcomed
Belgarath into his tower.
At first Belgarath was a little unsociable, but
as the decades rolled by, Aldur and Belgarath
got to know each other and soon they were
close friends - bumchums.
One morning, Aldur said to Belgarth, "My
Son, lay down thy study of the mountains.
I have another task for thee."
"Yes master.", said Belgarath. "How can I help
"I want thee to travel south towards Tolnedra and
study a Dryad. Return when thou hast found the
reasons why dryads exist".
"Yes master", said Belgarath.
A thousand years later, Belgarath returned.
"And so Belgarath my son, what hast thouest
"Dryads are monsters created shortly after
the world was made. Dryads is an Ulgo term
meaning 'Divine Remedy Yielding A Durable
"What?", exclaimed Aldur.
"Or it could be 'Divine Remedy Yielding a Durable
Screw' I suppose", said Belgarath deep in thought.
"What?", exclaimed Aldur louder.
"Dryads exists to provide gods with sexual pleasure.
Because all gods are born male then there are no
female deities. However, female women don't have
the stamina to entertain gods and therefore Dryads
"I see.", said Aldur. "What else hath thouest foundst?"
"Well, apparantly they are linked to one or more trees
with some sort of invisible bond. The dryad will live as
long as her tree, but the more trees a dryad has, the faster
the dryad will grow and mature. But by having more trees,
each tree will live a shorter life thus shortening the life of
"Interesting.", said Aldur. "How were thouest able to
come to such conclusions?".
"Oh, it was easy.", said Belgarath. "The old dryad has just
died. She created too many trees. She could have lived
another thousand years had she not done so. But there's a
whole forest out there now".
"Ce'Files!", cried Aldur struck with grief.
"Yes,", said Belgarath. "How did you know her name?
Or is it one of those godly things?".
Aldur ignored the question. "Was there nothing that thouest
"Return to thy studies my son.", said Aldur. And then he
Belgarath returned to his studies dreaming of Ce'Files and
wondering whether any of the offspring that she had bore
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