And The Cosmic Gender Bender

Rex:  Here it is Stone, now where's my money?
Stone:  Well, if it isn't Rex Nebular.  What an unusual surprise.
Stone:  I must have very poor sources Rex.  I was informed you were, how do you say, dead.
Rex:  Can it Stone, it hasn't been a fun trip.  Just give me my money and I'll be on my way.  Right now I'm a little late for a date with a mattress.
Stone:  Would you like a drink, as if I don't know the answer?
Rex:  Yeah, I'll take 75,000 Galactars on the rocks, straight up hard currency.
Stone:  You've never been one to pull punches, Rex.  I almost like that in a man.
Stone:  You don't have a problem taking a check, do you?
Rex:  No problem, as long as you own the bank they're drawn on, I'll take your checks.
Stone:  Well, this certainly is a fine piece of art.  Such fond memories.
Stone:  So tell me Rex, did you have any trouble finding it?
Rex:  Did I have any trouble?!  You just stay seated and I'll tell you about this so called 'piece of cake' job you sent me on.
Rex:  Finding the planet was easy, too easy in fact.
Rex:  My mass detector was going crazy, so I had to be close.
Rex:  There it is.  OK probe, do your stuff.
Rex:  Now let's get a little closer.
Rex:  What the heck was what?
Rex:  Now that's a big ship.
Officer:  Target damaged sir.  She's not going anywhere.
Major Karg:  Good, move in and finish her off.
Rex:  Well, I've talked my way out of worse.
Rex:  Slippery Pig calling large obnoxious vessle.  Do you read?
Officer:  Sir, the pilot is trying to speak with us.
Major Karg:  On your monitor.
Officer:  Yes Sir.
Rex:  Hey, can't we talk this over?  I'm only a tourist.
Major Karg:  You have found our planet and you must die.  Nothing personal.
Rex:  Planet, what planet?  I don't know what you're talking about.
Rex:  Now if you'd kindly stop shooting at me, I'll be on my way.
Officer:  Positive weapons lock, sir.
Major Karg:  Good, let's end this.
Rex:  AHHHH!
Rex:  AHHHH!
Slippery Pig:  Sploosh

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