Trent: Do you ever feel like you are wasting your life?
Daria: Only when I'm awake.

Kevin: Pssst...Daria. What'd you get for number one?
Daria: The one about "who I really am?" Try cross-dresser.
Kevin: Thanks

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say, "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down."
Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Assistant: Helen, it's your daughter's teacher.
Helen: Tell them I'll make sure Quinn turns in the assignment on monday; oh, and try to find out what the assignment is, okay, and maybe you can get started making a few notes on it. Assistant: It's your other daughter... I think.
Helen: Daria? Well then, tell them I'll talk to her about her attitude, and try to find out who she insulted and what she said, hmm?

Daria: What is it?
Tiffany: It's Brooke's new nose. Isn't it cute?
Daria: Don't worry. It'll grow out.

Dr. Shar: Come on, it'll be fun
Daria: I don't like fun.

Miss Barch: Excellent job, Daria. You get an A.
Kevin: Alright!
Miss Barch: Not you, you man. You get a D.
Kevin: Alright!

Mrs. Li: Students, I urge you to take this opportunity. Curiosity, inquiry, expression; these are the building blocks of education.
Brittany: Ma'am?
Mrs. Li: No questions!

Upchuck: Good day, ladies! What's in the box? Art project? Science experiment? Adorable little pet? Ruff!
Jane: A little of each, Upchuck. Take a look.
Upchuck: Hmm... call me 'country bumpkin', but, what is it?
Jane: It's a fake boob.
Upchuck: Uhhhhheh, uhhhhhhhheh, rlrlrlrlrlrlr (runs off)
Jane: Guess he's not quite ready for a physical relationship

Jane: So, basically you convinced them that you were too dull to be worth grounding?
Daria: Exactly. And the sad thing is, it's kinda true.

Teacher: Let's all work together to make Daria's dream a reality.
Daria: You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames?

Quinn: Don't worry, it's fake.
Daria: Aw, you got a tattoo to match your personality.

Quinn: Can I have $29.99 for a removable nose ring? No piercing required!
Daria: Good idea. You don't need any more holes in your head.

Daria: Raisins?
Tad: Raisins are nature's candy.
Daria: Then why do they have to cover them with chocolate to sell them at the movies?
Tricia: Sugar is bad.
Tad: Sugar rots your teeth.
Tricia: Sugar makes you hyper.
Tad: Hitler ate sugar.

Daria: I can't have this on my conscience.
Quinn: You don't have a conscience.
Daria: What I meant was: I don't feel like it.

Quinn: So you see, when you contribute to my surgery it's like we're all sharing the surgery. We're making a statement about solidarity.
Andrea: Solidarity?
Quinn: You know, sisterhood is powerful.
Andrea: Aren't you a little worried that there may be a hell?

Guy: So, where you girls been all our lives?
Daria: Waiting here for you. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here, alone. But now you've arrived, and our lives can truly begin.

Quinn: I think people who run over animals should get run ofer themselves to see how they like it.
Daria: What about the unpopular animals?
Quinn: Unpopular animals don't count.

Jake: How's the old self-esteem going, kiddo?
Daria: My self-esteem teacher says that being addressed all my life as child epithets like "kiddo" is probably the source of my problem.
Jake: Really? Daria: No.

Principal Li: You have no overall problem with raising money for the coffeehouse?
Daria: I believe in coffee, coffee for everyone. But I don't want to sell chocolate anymore. It makes me feel dirty.
Jane: The bad kind of dirty.

Teacher: You have to know how to take a test. Like, when you get a multiple choice question, you can usually eliminate two of the answers right off.
Brittany: Excuse me, sir? Does that work with true/false?

Jane: So... have fun?
Daria: Well, I didn't talk to a whole bunch of new people. I made Quinn want to throw herself down a well. And I'm going home with a bonus sock. All in all, a great night.

DARIA

"I don't like to smile unless I have a reason." ("The Misery Chick")

"Actually, I may just skip college and stay home. It'll save me the trouble of moving back in later." ("College Bored")

"How come even in my fantasies everyone's a jerk?" ("College Bored")

"Well, I guess I'd like my whole family to do something together. Something that'll really make them suffer." - Daria ("Esteemsters")

"The whole thing's enough to turn your stomach. Which I guess is good if you want to be a model... eases the transition to bulemia." ("This Year's Model")

"He says I should think back to circumstances that brought me happiness as a child, and replicate them. But I supposed Quinn's here to stay." ("Esteemsters")

"Don't worry, I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else." - Daria ("Esteemsters")

QUINN

"You can't expect me to choose a boyfriend right away, that would be like eating the first pancake off the stove. You have to feed one to the dog." ("The Invitation")

"The only thing worse than actually reading is watching somebody else read." ("The Big House")

"I mean, I like being attractive and popular, it's, like, me okay? So if Dr. Shar makes everybody else attractive and popular, then I'll have to be even more attractive just to keep up, and then if they, like, go back to her to catch up to me, then I'll have to go back and pretty soon it'll be, like, one of those vicious things! Where will it end, Daria? Where will it end?" ("Too Cute")