FAT Out Of Hell -

© Graham McNally 2000, to be sung to the tune of 'Bat Out Of Hell'
by Jim Steinman and Meat Loaf.

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The hard drive is churning and the CPU's whirring,
way down in the Comp. Lab tonight.
There's a man in the shadows working on CGI,
and the Network's down to reading in bytes.
There's a Webpage to be made and Java needs to fly,
and a deadline that I just have to meet.
I hate using the Notepad as a means of composure,
But you know that I'm down to,
3% of his quota,
and I'll still be here this time next week.

And Bill Gates told us all that Windows is best,
The only thing that's good and right.
And he still tries to con you into thinking it'll keep,
Your work safe through the lonely night.
But we're gonna find out, we're gonna find out right now,
What a 'System Unstable' forewarns.
We've got about five seconds to save all of our work,
When it's over you know, we'll just want to go home.

Like a FAT out of hell my work's gone when the morning comes.
Oh when the night is over I get an error e-mail that it's gone, gone, gone.
Like a FAT out of hell it's all gone when the morning comes.
And when they cleanup's done and the reboot's cleared,
and the bug's gone from my do();s
Then like a sinner before the gates of Unix I'll come crawling on back to GNU.

I'm gonna hit the Network using up all my RAM whilst my quota goes out of sight.
While the NFS rots and the admin gets angry and my box shows me an error light.
Nothing will compile and I can't reach my home dir,
And I can't even log onto my host,
And nothing ever runs,
And nothing ever shows,
The machine's fin'lly given up the ghost.

And I know that my RAM will never be enough,
Even if my system is new,
But with every other cycle there's left in my clock,
You know I've got to compile in GNU.
And if I bring down the LAN you know I've run out of RAM,
But I've got to get through to GNU,
And if I bring down the LAN you know I've run out of RAM,
Bring down the LAN you know I've run out of RAM,
Bring down the LAN you know I've run out of RAM,
Got to get through,
Got to get through,
Got to get through to GNU.

And Bill Gates told us all that Windows is the best,
The only thing that's good and right.
And he still tries to con you into thinking it'll keep,
Your work safe through the lonely night.
But I soon found out, yea I've found out right now,
What a 'System Unstable' forewarns.
And you never get time to save all of your work,
Cause when it's over you know, I just want to go home.

Oh like a FAT out of hell my work's gone when the morning comes.
Oh when the night is over I get an error email that it's gone, gone, gone.
Like a FAT out of hell it's all gone when the morning comes.
So when they cleanup's done and the reboot's cleared,
and the bug's gone from my do();s
Then like a sinner before the gates of Unix I'll come crawling on back to GNU.

Oh I can see my health, running quickly down,
Faster, than any other MUD I've ever played,
And my call went through to the HelpDesk,
But I've got nothing to do 'till they break through all the red tape.
And I can't stop thinking of GNU,
And I gotta go find out why my program won't make.
And I gotta go find out why my program won't make!

Then I'm dying at the keyboard in a room logged in to a Sun,
My email's gone down, Services want to shoot me on sight,
And I think some program somewhere's ringing error bells.
And the last thing I see is my prompt,
Still flashing out of the window but not responding at all,
Like a FAT out of hell.

Then I'm dying at the keyboard in a room logged in to a Sun,
My email's gone down, Computer Services will shoot me on sight,
And I think some program somewhere's ringing error bells.
And the last thing I see is my prompt,
Still flashing,
Still flashing,
Still flashing out of the window but not responding at all
Like a FAT out of hell
(FAT out of hell your work's gone when the morning comes)
Like a FAT out of hell
(FAT out of hell your work's gone when the morning comes)
Like a FAT out of hell
(FAT out of hell your work's gone when the morning comes)
Like a FAT out of hell!