This is a place where you can enjoy jokes, WAV files, and other cool stuff! Just scroll down the page. If you have any funny jokes or WAV files you would like to see here, use the e-mail link at the bottom of this page and send them to me. In addition to your joke or WAV file, please include your first name and the initial of your last name only! Also, type "MY JOKE" in the "subject" area of the e-mail so I'm sure to read it! I will post your name with your joke or WAV file if I use it (and I probably will!).
Have FUN! :-)
HERE!
Oops! (excuse me!) (W), A bunch of goodies from Jewell 10f! (J), Tigers (J), Express Train (J) , Call 911! (W), Man Walks Into a Bar (J), Buss Riddle (J), Bathroom (W), Rock Fight (J), Eat a Dog? (J), Bud Frogs (W), Silly Monkey (J), The Sheep (J), Ren & Stimpy (W), Man & Woman on aTrain (J), Noisey Tree (J), Small & Wobbly? (J), Go To Jail (W), E Riddle (J), Math Class (J), Rolling Orange (J), Group Hug (W), The Radio (J), Itchy Witch (J), The Rooster (J), Homer 911 (W), Uncle Louie (J), Cheater (J), Staring at O.J.? (J), I've Got It! (W), Accident Victim (J), Know Your Colors? (J), Rope in a Bar (J), I Love You (W), Eat Your Greens! (J), Weighing Fish (J), Well Dressed (J), Razzberry! (W), Mix-Matched Sox (J), Musical turkey? (J), I Don't Like SPAM! (W), Mad Cow's Disease (J), Computer Fishing? (J), Toon Hug (W), Cruel Cooks (J), Your's Here? (J),
Your armpits smell so bad...
...the teacher gave you an A+ to not raise your hand!!
What rides on a fire truck that has spots on it? A firemen with measles!
What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing at all? An elephant's shadow.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a vampire? Fangsgiving.
On Friday, a cowboy rides into town. He stays two days, then leaves on Friday. How is this possible? The cowboy's horse's name is Friday.
What does a dog do on a car trip, bark or arf? Neither, he barfs.
How many letters are there in the alphabet? Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
Why couldn't the sick kid play on the computer? Because he might give it a virus
What do you get when you cross a mummy and a CD? A wrap song!
What has teeth but doesn't bite? A comb
What do you call a ticklish explorer? Amerigo Vescoohiecoochiecoo.
What has keys can't open doors? Piano keys
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Osborne.
Osborne who?
Osborne in Texas!!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Dwaine.
Dwaine who?
Dwaine the bathtub, I'm drowning!!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Wondergirl!!!
Q: Why do tigers eat raw meat ?
A:Because they don't know how to cook !
Q: Did you hear the joke about the express train?
A: Forget it, you just missed it !
Q: A man walked into a bar. What did he say?
A: "Ouch !"
You're driving a bus down the road.
At the first stop 3 people get on.
At the second stop 5 people on.
At the third stop 4 people get off
At the forth 1 more person gets off.
Q: What color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The bus drivers eyes are whatever color your eyes are, you are the bus driver !
Teacher: Who started this fight?
Peter: David threw a rock at me, so I threw one back.
Teacher: Why didn't you call me?
Peter: I'm a better aim than you!
Q: What kind of dog can you eat?
A: A Hot Dog!!
Q: What do you call a Monkey with two bananas in his ears?
A: Anything you want...he can't hear you!
Q: Where do sheep go for a hair cut?
A: The Bah-Bah Shop!
Man on the Train : Excuse me miss, I think you are sitting in my chair.
Woman : Can you prove it?
Man : I think so, I left a big piece of apple pie on it.
Q: What makes a tree noisy?
A: It's bark!!
Q: What is small and wobbly and sits in a stroller?
A: A jelly baby!
Q: What word starts with E and ends with E and only has one letter in it?
A: An envelope!
TEACHER: If I had 8 oranges in one hand and 7 lemons in the other, what would I have?
PUPIL: Big hands?
Q: Why did the orange roll down the hill?
A: Because it ran out of juice!
Q: Why did the boy bury his radio?
A: Because the batteries were dead!
Q:What do you take from a witch to make her itch?
A: a "W".
Q: Why didn't the Rooster cross the road?
A: Because he was too chicken!
A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy.Her husband isn't there, and she doesn't want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital insists that the babies must be named by the end of the day.
Crazy Uncle Louie overhears this and he names them(unbeknownst to the couple).
Later the husband arrives, and the happy couple are set to name the babies when a nurse informs them that Uncle Louie already took care of that.
"Oh no!" they cry. "He's crazy and doesn't know what he's doing. What names did he pick?"
The nurse says, "Well, he named the girl Deniece."
"Whew, not bad. In fact, that's nice. And how about the boy?"
"Denephew."
Q: What animal never plays fair?
A: A cheetah.
Thanks...Libby and Max I.
Q: Why were there people staring at the orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate!
Thanks for that joke, Sheri.
Sarah: Did you hear about that guy in the accident?
Amanda: No.
Sarah: He lost his whole left side!
Amanda: Your kidding! I never heard of it.
Sarah: Yeah well, he's all RIGHT now!!
Thanks to Sheri for that joke!
News Flash: A ship carrying a cargo of red paint has collided with a ship carrying a cargo of purple paint. Both crews were marooned.
Thanks to : Ellen S.!
A rope walks in to the bar and the bar tender says we don't serve ropes here.
So the rope goes out side ties him self in a knot and fraids his hair.
He walks back into the bar and the bar tender asks are you a rope?
The rope says no, I'm a FRAID KNOT!
Q: What is the differance between boogers and spinach?
A: You can't get your kids to eat spinach.
Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: The scales!
Mum : "I thought you were going to use your computer?"
Son : "I am."
Mum : "Then why are you dressed in your bathing suit?"
Son : "Because I'm going to surf the Internet!"
"That's a strange pair of socks you have on, one light blue and the other dark blue."
"Yes I know, I have another pair just the same at home."
Q: What is the most musical piece of a Turkey?
A: The drumstick!
These two cows are in standing in a field.
One says "Hey, are you worried about that Mad Cow's Disease?"
The other one answers "Nah, it can't affect me, I'm a rabbit."
Q: Why don't fish go near computers ?
A: Because, they are afraid of getting caught in the Internet.
Q: Why are cooks cruel?
A: They beat eggs, whip cream and batter fish.
DON'T BE SHY! If you know a good joke, don't be afraid to send it in! Your joke and name could be here! Imagine what your friends would think!? (Don't forget to ask permission first!) :-)
