Title: In Medias Res #2
Author: T'Bitch (kiwisama@yahoo.com)
Word Count: 2157, excludes header.
Series: TOS
Rating: PG for implied sex
Summary: answer to a challenge: Write an S/Mc where one mourns the death of the other, and in doing so, explains to a friend how it all began.
Disclaimer: While I do not own the characters contained herein (Paramount does), I own this particular arrangement of words. It cannot be redistributed or archived without this header and my name attached. That said, feedback is always welcome.
Author's Notes: As I write this note, I'd like to point out that it is 3:05 am (0305 hours) local time. I did promise myself that I would finish it by the deadline, and here it is, for good or ill. Which sounds like something Hemingway might have said, but probably didn't: Just tell the story and let them work it out. So I told the story.
Daleks are sort of overgrown pepper shakers from the TV programme Doctor Who (1963 - 1996, plus or minus). I've always found them scarier than, say, the paper mache planet eater (eg The Doomsday Machine). They're in there because there should really be a story set before this in time in which they have an adventure crossover thing, but it isn't done yet. This is the problem of having worked a chronology out in my head but not having finished all the stuff yet.
(note from later the next day) it turns out today isn't the deadline - monday is. At least I finished it before my move. Though I started out taking things in a different light, I think this one is at least set at a time that one might guess. I make no apologizes. cheers, T'Bitch
***
"Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin to be so quiet." --Bob Dylan
"You'll be fine," McCoy told him gruffly, "So long as you keep your damn fool self away from breakable objects."
Kirk flexed his hand without pain. "You okay, Bones?"
The doctor gave him a look that said if you want your organs to remain internal you won't continue this line of questioning. Kirk of course decided to press the issue.
"Bones, you really don't look so great."
"Well thank you, Jim, you look real pretty yourself."
"Have you been sleeping?"
The CMO sighed and sat down. "Is it that obvious?"
"'Fraid so, Bones. What's up?"
No answer.
"We all miss him, Bones. But beating yourself up isn't going to bring him back. I know you didn't end on the best of terms, but that's..."
"The best of terms? Ha!" McCoy seemed suddenly angrier than Kirk could recall seeing him in a long time. "I'll have you know, Jim, that there was a lot you didn't know about me and him."
"Like what?"
"Like we were bond mates, that's what."
"Like hell you were."
"You don't believe me?"
"Frankly, no. I can't recall seeing you two say more than four civil words to each other at a time - why would you have decided to, to-"
Kirk's protests faded under the doctor's stare. Moving deliberately, he opened one of his desk drawers and removed a holo that had obviously been recently relegated to that ignoble resting place. The captain thought briefly that he had noticed something was different about the desk's top, then he looked at the picture and his mind stopped working for a bit.
It was of Spock and McCoy. They stood close, the doctor leaning against the tall vulcan, his head inclined to catch some amusing wry comment. It was unposed, the photographer having caught them unawares - Kirk could just imagine the startled looks that would cross the subject's faces in the next moment. The sky in the background was deeply blue, and the trees had a dark green look, as if it had just rained. Obviously it had been taken on Earth, though he couldn't place where.
Kirk found himself sitting in a chair in front of McCoy's desk, though he couldn't remember actually sitting down. There were tears in his eyes, too, from seeing an image of his old friend so alive again.
"I couldn't look at it either, anymore. It was one of my favorites. Saavik took it when we visited her in Oregon. We had gone hiking." A cup of something strong-smelling and quite possibly alcoholic thumped down on the surface in front of him. Across the desk Bones sat down with a cup of tea.
"I, that is, Bones, I'm so...I'm so sorry. But when, I mean, why didn't you-"
"Invite you? We did," the older man drawled. "You couldn't make it."
"Wait, that..." Kirk's mind raced backwards to a brief communique received just after the end of their mission with V'ger. "I'd have come if you had mentioned what it was about."
"We...hadn't originally planned for it to happen then. It just...these things sometimes take on a momentum of their own."
"You didn't tell me."
"We kept meaning to, Jim. But things came up. And they kept coming up. We were going to take you out to dinner as soon as we returned from the training cruise."
"I guess it worked out after all, then, though instead of dinner I seem to get..." he sipped the drink and choked. "What is this?"
"Saurian brandy. It's very strong."
"Thanks for the warning."
"I'm sorry. My mind is just...everywhere in little bits."
"I understand." He watched his friend for a moment. "Lost your stomach for whisky, Bones?"
"Lately, yeah. It's strange, but I've developed a liking for tea. Spock would be pleased, if he were here. He always was trying to convert me..."
Kirk wasn't sure what he thought about the faraway look in the other's eyes that appeared, then vanished a moment later.
"Could I ask, how long had this been going on?"
"A long time. Since right after Spock's first pon farr."
"Jesus, that long? I can't believe I didn't notice. I can't believe you didn't tell me!"
"We were discreet. It seemed like the right idea at the time. We didn't want to put you in the position of having to order us to desist."
"It never seemed to interfere with your duties, as far as I can remember."
"There were moments..."
"The mirror universe...I remember the haunted look on your face."
"That's part of why we held off bonding for so long, though I kick myself for it now."
"You were together for a long time, though. You made him happy - don't doubt that."
"I don't." Bones smiled into his tea. "I sometimes think I knew that longer than he did."
***
"Tell me how it started, Bones. I can't imagine it." This was Jim's method of subtlety: drop it for a day or two, then bring it up during a friendly after-dinner drink.
"Huh-uh, Jim. I don't kiss and tell." But you did tell Shvah when he asked, years ago, said a low familiar voice in his mind. That peculiar child of Vulcan, back after the call to Gol came. You hardly knew him. Surely you can tell Jim, your oldest friend. The doctor relented. "But I suppose I can make an exception in your case, since I know he'd've told you if we had ever gotten around to telling you together." He hardly registered the flash of pain as it crossed his friend's face, though it was mirrored on his own.
Kirk watched as McCoy got up to pour himself another cup of tea. "Bones, you don't have to if you don't want to."
"I want to. I owe it to you on his behalf." He took his seat again and set the tea down.
It was right after that botched wedding and that whole mess with those Daleks, right before we finally got some shore leave. There was an accident in engineering during gamma shift and I was called in to repair the damage done, so I scheduled myself out of the office for alpha shift. But for some reason I wasn't that tired, so I found myself on the observation deck.
The Enterprise was in orbit around some planet, I forget the name of it now. But all I saw out the window were stars, billions of them, dancing multicolored points in the blackness. Then I looked over and saw him standing beside me.
"They're beautiful, aren't they?" He didn't say anything, just tilted his head slightly. I felt very sad and tired all of a sudden. "I suppose you think I'm very illogical for letting a scientific phenomena provoke an emotional response in me." I sighed and turned my attention back to the window, though I knew he was now staring intently at me.
"Until very recently I was bonded to someone, as you now know, and therefore was perhaps unable to express my...feelings, as you so often insisted I should do." His voice startled me, and the way he said the word `feelings' you'd've thought he was talking about a dead rat, but I quickly recovered my wits.
"Are you admitting that you do have emotions?" I turned fully towards him to gage his reaction. "Specifically, you seem to be implying you feel unexpressed love."
"Indeed it would seem that way," he replied gravely.
"And logically you would not be telling me this simply for my health." There was a long pause as we both followed this train of reasoning to its conclusion. "So-"
"Mr Spock, please report to the bridge." Kirk's voice on the intercom broke up our quiet discussion.
"On my way." He turned to me. "Would you join me in my quarters for dinner this evening?"
"Sure. Around 1900 hours?"
He nodded and left. I realized my knees were shaking and sat down. After a minute I said aloud, "Well, that was unexpected." Though, truth to tell, not unhoped for. It had been a long time since I had felt the excitement course my veins like that.
I managed to sleep till the end of alpha shift, then got up to check in down in sick bay.
"How're you feeling, Doc?" Nurse Chapel greeted me cheerfully.
"A lot better, thanks Chris. A little sleep does wonders. And you? Did you have an eventful day?"
"Hardly. Not even a common cold to treat. I managed to get all those vaccination records filed."
"You'll leave me with nothing to do! Go on, get out of here. Have a nice evening."
"You too, Doc."
I went back to my quarters and fidgeted. There were so many questions that suggested themselves now that the parameters of our relationship were changing. What should I wear? How to act? Should I bring a small gift - some bourbon, maybe? Should I wait for him to make the first move?
I hadn't been so nervous since I was a teenager picking up Sharon Wester for the junior prom. It occurred to me that if I came out of tonight still speaking with my date, I'd've done better than I did with Sharon. That threw me into a fit of giggles from which it took several minutes to recover.
I started when the door sprang open. Spock was standing on the other side looking calm as ever in a black t-shirt and trousers.
"Ah, hi. I, er-" I offered him a bottle of Bajoran Spice wine I had brought.
"Please, come in." He stepped aside to let me through. "I have prepared a small meal..." We both tensed slightly as I brushed accidentally against his arm.
"Spock-"
The door swished shut behind us and he kissed me.
"Just like that? How direct...I suppose I should have expected as much," Kirk chuckled. "Did you ever eat dinner that night?"
McCoy frowned, first in irritation and then in confusion. "I can't remember. Huh. I don't think so, though."
"So then what happened?"
"Later, Jim. I'm tired."
"I'll hold you to that," the younger man grinned. "I should be getting to bed anyway. Night."
"Night." Bones closed his eyes as his friend left. Unbidden the images returned to him.
"I am sorry, Leonard. This is not how I planned for the evening to go."
Spock's voice was nearly an octave lower than usual. I laughed and rested my head on his bare shoulder. "How did you plan it?"
"I had thought we would eat first."
"Ah well, the best laid plans of mice and vulcans..."
"Indeed."
I just lay there unmoving for a while, savoring the heat of his skin, the light musky smell of our mingled sweat. I hadn't felt so happy in years - not since before my wife and I split up...I had completely forgotten what it felt like to be loved, so I just closed my eyes and basked in it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that Spock probably hadn't felt this before, and I was glad that he was there with me to experience it instead of off with someone else.
Eventually practical matters surfaced. "I suppose...we probably shouldn't tell anyone about this just yet." He considered my proposal so long I rushed ahead. "I mean, we're serving together and there are some regulations about that, and you have a career to think about and all..."
"Jim will be unhappy when he finds out we did not tell him at once."
"I think he'd be unhappier if we told him and he had to tell us to keep our hands to ourselves."
Spock nodded. "In truth, I was going to suggest the same course of action."
"I wish I could tell him, though. I'd love to see the look on his face."
"We will tell him eventually. I admit I am curious about what his reaction will be."
"Probably keel over in shock."
"Surely not. He's canny...he will probably just laugh and say he knew it all along."
"You might be right." I kissed his neck. "Ah, have I told you I love you?"
"Not in the last ten point four minutes."
"Well then."
I drifted away from my memories and found myself sitting in my cabin, half asleep. "Oh, Spock...I always thought you'd be there when I told him."
His lined face looked sympathetic.
"It's all so empty since you left. I feel hollow, Love."
"Hush, Leonard. Things will be fine, in the end."
"That's easy for you to say."
"Hush." Ghostly arms enfolded me as I wept.
In the morning I awoke in my bed with no recollection of getting there the previous night.
I felt terribly alone.
|