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TITLE: Looking Across The River - Daniel

AUTHOR: Tiv'ester

E-MAIL: tivester@lycos.com

STATUS: Complete

CATEGORY: Angst

SPOILERS: Several, heavy ones from The Light

SEASON/SEQUEL: 4th

RATING: PG

CONTENT WARNINGS: No really bad words, just a few exclamations.

SUMMARY: Reflections on the living by someone who isn't.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate SG-1. Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only. No money has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story is a direct follow up to Across The River - Sha'uri. Big thanks to Lems for betaing these two stories.  This story and Across The River - Sha'uri concern two perspectives of the same event.

********************

Wait.

I know this place.

I've been here before -- more than once.

I'm at the River.

I don't know why, but I've always pictured rivers with muddy water. This one I'll never forget. Its waters are bluer than the Mediterranean. Clear blue water flowing beneath a mist that hides the other shore.

How did I get here this time?

The first time was when Ra's Jaffa shot me on Abydos. I didn't even realize I had been dead. The second time, Apophis killed me on the Nox world. The third time was when the Jaffa shot me on Klorel's ha'tak as they were coming to destroy Earth -- I seem to remember that I died just as I was falling into the sarcophagus. Maybe I just dreamed about dying that time? The fourth time was after the cave-in in Shy'la's prison. She told me that I was dead when the guards brought me up from the caves. I remember that. The fifth time was when Machello's body gave out on me when I was trapped inside.

So what exactly happened this time?

I remember I was on P4X-347 with SG-5 exploring that site -- and there was this light....a strangely absorbing light....that I couldn't figure out. We were called back when Barber threw himself into a forming wormhole. I couldn't get the portable device to work -- did I yell at General Hammond? I don't remember anything after that.

Oh, boy. I think I'm really dead this time.

"Dan'yel!"

Oh my God. Forget being dead. I'm in Heaven.

"Sha'uri!'

The mist is gone, and there's the one sight I've waited to see for so long that it actually hurts.

She's there, waiting for me. There are a lot of people on the shore, but she's the only one I want to see. She's every bit as beautiful as the day I first saw her. Dark hair, dark eyes...her eyes. Not Amaunet's eyes.

My love is there.

She's Across The River.

There's a boat waiting on this side of the shore. I can paddle a boat. Right now, I think I could fly if I had to. Funny, I've heard of mixing metaphors and mangling cliches, but I think we're mixing mythologies here. The only thing missing is Charon to steer the boat Across The River like he does in Greek mythology. Maybe that's a good thing. I didn't bring a gold coin to pay for my passage across.

Sha'uri's waiting at the water's edge. I can see her smiling. Her sweet, gentle smile that's meant for me alone.

Why can't this boat go any faster?

I'm halfway Across The River. I can see her so clearly. She's waiting for me. My wife, my life, my Sha'uri is here. I'm here.

Why can't this boat go any faster?

I don't know who owns this boat, but I'll ask as soon as I get on the shore. I'll have to thank the owner right after I apologize to him for taking his boat.

Sha'uri's even more beautiful. I've only had my memory and one photo to remember her by for so long. I think I've been so starved for just the sight of her that the very sight of her is like water to an arid desert.

I'm at the shore.

She's reaching out to me. I reach out to her. I take her hand in mine. I can actually touch her -- another memory I've wanted to be real again for so long.

For a brief moment, I feel like the last few years haven't happened. We're back where we should be, side by side.

Wait...

Something's wrong...

I can't breathe.

I can't move.

The mist is falling again. I know I'm holding Sha'uri's hand, but I can't feel her any more. I can't hear her voice...

"Sha'uri!"

I'm aware of a rocking sensation. The boat is going back to the other shore. I'm being sailed back Across The River.

No.

I can't lose Sha'uri again!

I won't!

I....

I'm....

I'm waking up. I'm on a cold, hard floor. Jack's here. His voice is the one I hear, not my Sha'uri's.

He's helping me to sit up. We're back on P4X-347. How'd we get here? He's saying something about getting Sam and Teal'c here, to sit still, don't move, just breathe, he'll be right back.

I'm back on this side of the River.

I was so close to being with her again....why did I come back? Was I sent back? Oh, no, the memory is fading. That always happens to me. I can never truly remember what happens during the near death experience. It's just bits and pieces, but this time....surely the fates will let me remember seeing her, just this once? They can't deny me that much.

It's not like I'm a stranger there.

I know that place.

I know I'll go back again someday.

And that time, I'll stay Across The River. With her.

*fin*

 

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