Getting to Know You: Mirror Spock

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO: ALL STARFLEET PERSONNEL ONBOARD I.S.S. ENTERPRISE FROM: STARFLEET INTELLIGENCE AND PERSONNELLE HEADQUARTERS INSTRUCTIONS: Read each of these questions and answer them in the best possible detail. Send them back to HQ in one week. All missing or late entries will be put on record, and said personnel will be sent to the agony booth onboard ship. NAME: Spock Cha'Sarek RANK: Commander CURRENT LOCATION: I. S. S. Enterprise, NCC-1701 CURRENT OCCUPATION: First Officer, Science Officer, sworn protector of Dr. Leonard McCoy HAIR: Short and black, beard of same color EYES: Dark brown and piercing ANY SERIOUS ILLNESSES, ALLERGIES OR BIRTH DEFECTS? I am a half-caste, less than a full Vulcan, a disease of its own. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? One, a brother, Sybok Cha'Sarek. Although technically, he has been disowned. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Dr. McCoy ARE YOU AN ANIMAL LOVER? IF SO, DO YOU PREFER THE CUTE/FURRY KIND OR THE UGLY/SCALEY KIND? I do not like animals. They are only for food. I see no reason for me to "love them" when the next one could end up in the replicator. DO YOUR RANKING SUBORDINATES PLOT BEHIND YOUR BACK? All of the time, Mr. Sulu is currently in the agony booth for such an attempt. IS YOUR CURRENT RIVAL IN RANK EASILY BRIBED? Mr. Scott is very easily bribed, and he is the closest one in my rank at this time. All it takes is to give him a crate of Romulan Ale, and he keeps his mouth shut. Humans do love their alcohol. HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH? None, Vulcans do not need such plush things as pillows. If the bunk isn't comfortable enough for you, then you are not a true Vulcan. ARE YOU A HOBBY COLLECTOR (toys, books, baseball cards, etc)? I collect Ancient Vulcan artifacts, such as weaponry. I have a lirpa right over my bed, just in case I cannot get to a phaser or my dagger in time. DO YOU LIKE EXOTIC FOODS? If we raid an enemy ship, I will of course try whatever food supplies there are onboard. It makes a pleasant change from the replicated supplies. ARE YOU A GOURMET OR A GOURMAND? I eat, because it is necessary. And I eat whatever is available. This question is illogical. WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? I listen to Vulcan war music as an aid to meditation. And unfortunately, I am forced to listen to what Dr. McCoy has termed "blue grass." (M-Len, from M-Spock's Bed: You know you like it Spock! HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU KILLED (that you can admit to)? Nine, not including Nurse Diesel. I let Dr. McCoy take the credit for her, just because that's how they found her, near him. If the crew found out though, they would not fear him as they do now. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S GOAL? My life's goal is to own a planet for my own use. I suppose that if Dr. McCoy desires a house built there for us, I will have it built. (M-Len: Well, you've won me over, Spock. I'm yours. M-Spock: Of course you are, Doctor.) DO YOU POSSESS UNCANNY POWERS? I am Vulcan. I possess many abilities. I have the strength of ten humans. I am a touch telepath, and I can force my will on another. And I am much smarter than the Captain. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR ISS-ISSUED FLEET DAGGER? Obviously. I could not have risen to the rank of First Officer, if I was unskilled in the use of my dagger. DID YOU JOIN STARFLEET TO AVOID A PRISON SENTENCE? No, I didn't. But I can make a very long list of everybody who did. DO CRIMINAL ACTIVITES RUN IN YOUR FAMILY? Political corruption runs in my family, because I come from a long line of ambassadors. DO YOU SEE THINGS NO ONE ELSE SEES? In the literal sense, no. I am not crazy. Although I am fairly certain I am the only one who is privilege to one of Dr. McCoy's "special shows." IF YOU COULD RE-DESIGN THE UNIFORM, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE FIRST? If I could, I think I would make certain changes in the area of the front and back. Both would have easy access openings, held together by a button. That way, if need be, we wouldn't take as long. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU COMMITTED ESPIONAGE FOR THE EMPIRE? At least twelve. Although the one with the Romulan Empire was the most interesting. They made me some sort of breeding stock. They're still searching for me, and Starfleet refuses to send me back. DO YOU HAVE ANY DISTINGUISHING SCARS OR TATTOOS? If it must be known, I have a 6-inch scar on my chest that runs between my nipples. I gained it in a knife-fight with that Khan moron. He has since learned better than to mess with me. ARE YOU CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO ANY DANGEROUS SUBSTANCES? No addictions what so ever. Vulcans have better control than that. (M-Len, walking to the terminal: I'm offended. M-Spock: Doctor, I could have told them the story of your tattoo.)

Back to the Caves