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Enlightenment Questions  - Question From Cacohen

I am a 51 year old woman, that from as long ago as I can remember, I have always felt connected to the Source. But as a small child I wasn't able to articulate not only to anyone else, but to myself what I was feeling. Four years ago I was handed a book about seeing the light. It was a very short book (not that many pages) and I finished at lunchtime in my office at work. When I finished, I looked up from the book and my entire office was filled with white light. I felt very blissful and almost euphoric when I finished it. I had always said that I was a Spirit in with a body, not a body with a spirit; as we all are. I believe that we are all on this earth to love and be loved and I try to practice being a spiritual being everyday. I practice letting go of ego everyday, and bring quiet and calm into my life at every free moment. I thank the Divine everyday for his blessings past and future. I realize that not all blessings make us happy.

But, I truly don't understand why my life is racked with so much financial turmoil when all I do is pay my mortgage, my utilities that I truly skimp on and buy a little food.

Was I that terrible a person in my past life?

Answer from Tathagata

Dear Cachoen

I do not deny your claim that you saw light after reading the book. It can happen to anybody. Let me explain the secret of the phenomenon. If that book was written by a dead soul who had borrowed the author's body the situation that you have experienced can happen without limit. When you read the book you became to have a sort of urge. At that moment your consciousness could contact the consciousness of the spirit. That's like we can talk and see each other on the phone.
It's impossible for people to lead their consciousness for the better through meditation. As you don't have a enough capacity to see and understand the world yet you had to being suffered from harsh life. In order to free from all the difficulties you should learn the world through the principle and questions.