TCGOB: "Jumping on The SUV Bandwagon" by Steve Wingate

The Car Guy of Benchfield

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Jumping on the SUV Bandwagon or "Jeez, Who's Next?"

by Steve Wingate

It was kind of exciting when Mercedes jumped on the SUV bandwagon a few years back. Of course that was mostly because they were being made right here in my home state, and the bandwagon wasn't quite so long then. Mercedes started the second wave of the SUV craze with the LUXURY SUV M-class, which led to abominations like the Cadillac Escalade and a host of others. I believe we all watched in horror as BMW announced their SUV, and then, we started to see LUXURY pickup trucks like the Lincoln Blackwood. Even Buick, Saturn and Hyundai have an SUV entry. Where will it all end? I remember asking myself a few months ago. Next thing you know, Porsche will build an SUV. That was a joke, or so I thought at the time. Imagine my horror when I opened the last issue of Autoweek and saw a picture of a bulbous vehicle catching air over a dirt road in a stereotypical SUV poser shot, with a Porsche emblem on the nose and those distinctive Boxster style headlamps. The Porsche Cayenne. Ugh.

Well, with Porsche selling out to the SUVmania, it only makes me wonder who's next. There's really no telling, so I've come up with a few ideas of my own.

Maserati 3200 PT-- With Maserati planning to reenter the US market, they're going to need an SUV. I've even written a commercial jingle for their entry.....

(to the tune of "Life's Been Good" by Joe Walsh)

"My Maserati seats from one up to five,

It cost a fortune with no four wheel drive.

It's got a TV just right in the back,

Its got a V12 and a cool roof rack.....

Jaguar PHATCAT-- imagine a pregnant XJ8

Aston Martin Rotunda-- Hey, Ford owns 'em. Don't be surprised when they whip up a $250,000 Explorer platform with Aston Martin badging.

Ferrari F(amily)50-- A street legal F1 racer with a ridiculously high center of gravity. Sounds like a good idea to me. Don't forget those Firestones.

2001 Car Guy of Benchfield

Home + TCGOB NASCAR! + Photo Garage + Links + Mad Mad Automotive World + Driving Songs + Humor Pages + Reader's Rides+ All About TCGOB + Contact Us


	The Car Guy of Benchfield Home + TCGOB NASCAR! + Photo Garage + Links + Mad Mad Automotive World + Driving Songs + Humor Pages + Reader's Rides+ All About TCGOB + Contact Us Jumping on the SUV Bandwagon or "Jeez, Who's Next?" by Steve Wingate It was kind of exciting when Mercedes jumped on the SUV bandwagon a few years back. Of course that was mostly because they were being made right here in my home state, and the bandwagon wasn't quite so long then. Mercedes started the second wave of the SUV craze with the LUXURY SUV M-class, which led to abominations like the Cadillac Escalade and a host of others. I believe we all watched in horror as BMW announced their SUV, and then, we started to see LUXURY pickup trucks like the Lincoln Blackwood. Even Buick, Saturn and Hyundai have an SUV entry. Where will it all end? I remember asking myself a few months ago. Next thing you know, Porsche will build an SUV. That was a joke, or so I thought at the time. Imagine my horror when I opened the last issue of Autoweek and saw a picture of a bulbous vehicle catching air over a dirt road in a stereotypical SUV poser shot, with a Porsche emblem on the nose and those distinctive Boxster style headlamps. The Porsche Cayenne. Ugh. Well, with Porsche selling out to the SUVmania, it only makes me wonder who's next. There's really no telling, so I've come up with a few ideas of my own. Maserati 3200 PT-- With Maserati planning to reenter the US market, they're going to need an SUV. I've even written a commercial jingle for their entry..... (to the tune of "Life's Been Good" by Joe Walsh) "My Maserati seats from one up to five, It cost a fortune with no four wheel drive. It's got a TV just right in the back, Its got a V12 and a cool roof rack..... Jaguar PHATCAT-- imagine a pregnant XJ8 Aston Martin Rotunda-- Hey, Ford owns 'em. Don't be surprised when they whip up a $250,000 Explorer platform with Aston Martin badging. Ferrari F(amily)50-- A street legal F1 racer with a ridiculously high center of gravity. Sounds like a good idea to me. Don't forget those Firestones. 2001 Car Guy of Benchfield Home + TCGOB NASCAR! + Photo Garage + Links + Mad Mad Automotive World + Driving Songs + Humor Pages + Reader's Rides+ All About TCGOB + Contact Us