Look what’s in my email Herc!
Disclaimer: The characters of Hercules and Iolaus
Summary: Iolaus discovers something very interesting in his email. In this story, Iolaus opens his email and discovers interesting websites about himself and Hercules and Iolaus is totally fascinated by what he sees.
Author’s Note: This story is set in the 20th century where both Hercules and Iolaus are immortal heroes who still help people.
Tribute: I wrote this story to thank all the bards who make the Iolausian library such a fun place to visit. And I wrote this story to thank Ceryndip and all the other listmoms who maintain the Iolausian library as well as talented bards such as Arianna, Pythia just to name a few and of course, myself (a little self promotion is fun) now I learned that from one of the bards on the Goldapple list but I can’t remember which one but I bet you know who you are. So enjoy this funny little ditty! (I wrote this story in under 30 minutes on a rainy Saturday afternoon) so it’s not that good! Just be warned!
CHAPTER 1
“Iolaus..come to the TV..the soccer game is about to start! Oh look the kickoff..” Hercules sits back on the sofa with a beer in his hand.
“Just a second Herc..I’m still reading my email..I’ll be with you..in a sec..Hey Herc..you won’t believe this..but my cousin Sera sent me this email with a very interesting link..”
Iolaus clicks on the link in his email and his eyes bulge open wide in surprise as he avidly reads the screen and all its content forgetting about Hercules and the soccer game.
Hercules looks up from the TV screen to see Iolaus still staring at the computer surfing and clicking on his mouse in an agitated fashion. Hercules sees that Iolaus is so absorbed with whatever is on the computer screen that Iolaus has forgotten all about the soccer game which is why Iolaus came to Hercules’ house in the first place.
“Aw come on Iolaus..you can look at your email when you get home. You came here to watch the game with me remember?”
Iolaus is still avidly staring at the computer and not paying the least bit attention to his best friend. Curiosity piqued, Hercules gets off the coach and walks over to the computer to see why Iolaus is so absorbed with the computer. As Hercules approaches, Iolaus senses his best friend’s presence behind him.
“Look Herc..look what I found when I clicked on the link from Sera’s email..isn’t this fascinating? It’s a website called the “Iolausian Library” can you believe it Herc..there must be over a thousand stories about me!” Wow..it’s incredible what they have written..it’s about our friendship and our lives in Ancient Greece..whoa..powerful reading Herc!”
Hercules bends over Iolaus’ shoulder to get a closer look at the screen. Iolaus’ face still seems glued to the computer screen and Hercules’ is surprised to see the endless amount of stories about Iolaus and himself. Being a modest man, Hercules blushes at the amount of attention that these fanfiction writers must have put forth to write these fantastic stories.
“Look at this..stories by Arianna..by Pythia..by Skylark..Wow..and to think they named their library after me..and I thought well I thought everyone forgot about me in mythical history..after all usually it’s Hercules this and Hercules that!” Iolaus exclaims excitedly. “You know Herc..I could spend the whole day just reading all this cool fanfiction. It’s still hard to imagine..1,500 stories about us..Wow!..I can’t believe people still remember! Skylark writes about us in outer space with a crew called Voyager..and then here we are again Herc..she writes about us thousands of years into the future with the crew of Andromeda..and get this Herc..Skylark makes you out to be the starship captain..with the name Dylan Hunt..it’s really really cool all these stories about us!”
“Look here’s a story where I am found frozen and then they defrost me and we’re together again…these stories sure know how to describe how special our friendship is…it’s like as if somebody put a statue of us up or something..I’m just not used to being recognized like this..they have all these nicknames for me..Golden Hunter, Golden One..and for you Herc..they call you The Chosen One..”
“Iolaus, I’m glad that finally you get the recognition you deserve. I think they aptly named their library “Iolausian Library” sounds great to me!..and you’re right..we can spend all weekend reading these fanfiction stories..but I wonder how do these fanfiction writers know so much about us..they are pretty accurate you know?” Hercules asks softly as he too has forgotten about the soccer game and is now fascinated by the website in front of him.
“Well Herc..it could be that these fanfic writers have great imaginations, you know wonderful bards just like Gabrielle was. Her stories were fantastic..but then I always did exaggerate our exploits a bit..remember Herc..the time we beat that two headed hydra but I told Gabrielle it was a five headed hydra..and well you know..besides telling stories is such fun!”
“Hey..here’s a bunch of stories about how I was in purple..and here another bunch of sadder stories about the first time you killed when you used your strength too much..Oh They even have stories about Autolycus and Salmoneus! Here’s a story about when Salmoneous had to dress up as a girl..”
“Oh..look here..a story challenge about how you lost your pants..now these stories ought to bring a laugh..do you remember when that actually happened..you walking the countryside with nothing but your breech clout on..now there’s a laugh..mooning the Gods you were..!”
“Oh haha! You and Aphrodite had a great laugh..!” Iolaus retorted in an annoyed fashion.
Hercules points us another bunch of Iolaus stories as he laughs out loud “Here’s a whole bunch of stories each telling how you learned to swim..and here are some stories on why you started going to the Academy.oh and here’s a story about how you and Autolycus were tied together buck naked...”
Iolaus waves Hercules away as he comments “Oh please don’t remind me..Auto’s body odor left a lot to be desired..did that guy ever bathe?”
“Oh please..Iolaus..sometimes I had to throw you into the lake just to get you to bathe..”
“Aw come on Herc..the water is so cold in the winter..I don’t have demigod powers like you..”
“Yeah but I noticed that no matter how cold it got you would always bathe when you were about to visit a girl!”
“Oh hahaha!”
Hercules reads a few of the titles and comments “They definitely got Mother down right..she really was..” Even after all these centuries, it strikes Iolaus as odd that Hercules still feels sad about the death of his mother. In fact as Iolaus glanced down at his computer screen, there were stories about Alchemene’s life and death. No wonder Hercules was having a hard time holding it together.
“You know Iolaus..I am going to sit down and read these stories, I think it’s fun reliving our adventures together..our growing up years..our youth..the pains and the sorrows..the pure joy of us being together after all this time..”
Hercules pats his best friend on the shoulder as he made eye contact and said “Iolaus, I mean it when I tell you that you deserve all of this accolade from these writers..You have done so much to help humanity..you’ve sacrificed your life countless times..put other people’s welfare and mine above your own..I think this “Iolausian Library” is well it’s you!”
Iolaus’ eyes water over as he ducks his head in embarassment and even after thousands of years, he was still unaccustomed to compliments “Aw Herc..it’s what any guy would have done..it’s nothing special”
Hercules gives his friend a warm hug as he thought that one of Iolaus’ most endearing traits is his modesty and his underestimation of his own worth. But hopefully these stories on this archive will help build his friend’s self esteem and show Iolaus just what a special person he really is. Hercules makes a mental note to himself to check out the stories on the Iolausian Library website and to email them to his stubborn friend so that he can convince Iolaus once and for all just how special he really is.
Iolaus looks at his lifelong buddy whose life he has saved countless number of times from warlords, hydras, angry Greek Gods, angry foreign gods, demons and he smiled as he spoke the following words “You know Herc, I wouldn’t want it any other way..my destiny has always been to be by your side..back to back..just like we said when we were kids..and now we have these stories to remind us of just how special our friendship is to us..I would never be the man that I am today if it weren’t for you, Herc”
“Me too..Iolaus..Me too”
THE END