Will Her Engagement Last Longer Than Her Marriage?

 

"I've been on As The World Turns for almost two years now. It's been a tough adjustment, living in New-York. I like it a lot now, but if you had talked to me a year ago it would have been quite different!

"I became engaged about a year ago" she explains. "The fellow is in California and he's in business so it wouldn't be possible for him to pick up and come here. We don't know what we are doing about a marriage except that we really like each other a lot."

Their long-distance romance may lead to an engagement that lasts longer than all-too-many marriages these days! And heaven knows that courtships can be more pleasant that day-to-day married life.
 

" I try to have a social life " Judith sighed , "because it gets kind of lonely . I go out with friends and people on the show. I don't know how long-term a situation this can be. You can't make rules in a situation like this. So, we just go on and see what happens. I was out in California a few weeks ago, and he flies here often. It's difficult, but so far the relationship is holding up. After all ",Judith added laughing, "we don't fight a lot ! "

"I do certainly think marriage is in my future,"Judith continued. "I've never been married before and it's something I do want. I also look forward to having children, but the older you get, the harder it is to find somebody. You get more set in your ways and you get very particular." So, Judith may be anxious to "hold on" to the man she's got, even if it's an incredibly far reach!
Less important than personal relationships, but still a major matter in any move, was living space. Judith's experience was difficult even by usual New York standards!

"When I started looking at apartments here I was horrified," She explained. "California is so spread out and I lived right at the edge with the whole Pacific Ocean as my backyard. There was a great feeling of air and room. I'm like a little kid. I can spend the whole day in the water and come out all pink and shriveled. When I saw the New York apartment I was claustrophobic. There werent' enough windows and all the views were of other buildings. Then, I found this place."

"This place," Judith's apartment, is way over on the east side of New York with a spectacular view of the East River outside wall-to-wall windows. It is probably the closest a Californian can come to feeling at home and Judith grabbed it at first sight. In fact, despite her long-distance romance and her housing problems, Judith feels no resentment against her work. Nor does she think she is making impossible sacrifices.

"I would never resent working", she explains, "because it's so important to me and I'm always going to be doing it. And this business is so tough. If you wanted to be a doctor or an executive in an ad agency, you train and study and then there's work. In this business you train and you study and there's no work. So, you always have to fight and push and hustle. So much time is involved in getting the job, not doing it.

"I don't know what it is about acting that makes it so worthwhile for me. I guess I have an active imagination and it's a lot of fun to create something new. I think it's the same thing for people who write or paint or dance. It's putting something together that wasn't there before. I remember being really tiny and just wanting to dance and taking lessons, and it wasn't any pushing from my parents. When it came time to go to college and make a career decision, there was no problem for me.
" I think I have always been commited to being independent, but I have become more and more aware of the women's situation recently. Clearly, there is not political or economic equality. But, I don't think the woman's movement presents a conflict with marriage. The woman's movement means freedom for men too. They won't have to do all the taking care or all the making of money. It becomes a sharing. Sharing is one way I would describe a successful marriage. Sharing financial responsability and cooking and cleaning and totally sharing raising the children."

But just how much sharing can Judith and her husband-to-be enjoy now? And after so many years of "independance", will the total commitment of marriage end the love affair? We hope not!
When talking to Judith, no matter what the subject, the conversation comes back to acting. The place it holds in her life becomes clear when she talks about her futur hopes.

" I think the dream of any actor, certainly mine, is to do every kind of work. The wildwest fantasy would be to do a fabulous feature film and then some guest star television shows and be in a marvelous play in New York, then do some daytime TV. That's the fantasy, and you can work down from there. I think I could do it all: travel, job, marriage, home, kids. I don't know exactly how," Judith admits laughingly," but I would try."

And with the kind of energy Judith generates, chances are she'll try hard enough to make her futur marriage well worth waiting for!

Rona Barrett's
Daytimers
May 1978

To see more pics from 1978,clic here