If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don’t, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it’s natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it’s just one of men’s tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning yet so wonderful....Women!

Panorama is the mirror of expression.
Panorama provides inspiration,
to awaken, aspire & act.
Panorama is not just a collection of alphabets,
The pages of Panorama contain bare facts.
The only magazine of its kind,
which presents the views of young minds
Whether you are a girl or a boy,
Reading Panorama will give immense joy.
Thanks for searching the mind of Today’s Youth
O Makers of Panorama ! Accept my Salute.

A Matrimonial letter

To
Mr Mathematician
Calculus Campus
Statistical Street
Dynamics

My solvable Geometry,

With due real sequence, I am asking about the rational marriage of my complex son "Mr. Zero" with your irrational daughter "Miss Infinity". I have already consulted "Miss Trigonometry". She has promised a differential and integral marriage. You also know that they love each other so much so that they are ready to die for each other. The proof of their true love is :

Any digit/Zero = Infinity           Any digit / Infinity = Zero

It is also true that each of them possess a weakness. My son is a Lovable chap and he is the enemy of many good students. But he is such that inspite of his multiplication or division with any other numbers, he yields nothing but himself. As regards your daughter, she is not beautiful. Therefore I think it is quite a suitable couple. Could you please consult the logarithmic tables and tell me the suitable day (muhurat) for this matrimonial ceremony?

Thanking you in Binomial Expressions.

Yours
Algebra

She came in my dreams ...

She came in my dreams last night,
And in a moment went out of sight.
I remember the childhood games we played,
Where, behind the curtains, she used to hide.
those tender moments of togetherness,
The promise she made while parting,
I remember them all clear in my mind,
And hope she’ll meet me again,....sometime,
I remember the beautiful falls she had,
And the dreams of the Arabian Nights in her eyes,
I remember the poetries, she used to recite.
And the nostalgia she left behind.
Where are you Sarah ?
My heart Cries
How can I believe that she is so far?
When she’s always here, within my heart.
How can I believe that she is now a mystery:
Lost forever, in the pages of history?
Because she came in my dreams last night,
But in a moment, went out of sight.

It’s that time of the year again ... after a week full of fun, frolic, christmas presents, merrymaking, parties, discos, and New year Eve. The first thing to come to mind is ...Resolutions. Now is the time to sit, ponder, chew your pen, and twiddle your thumbs, exhorting those grey cells of yours to work overtime. All this for what? A list of deeds you will do (or rather try to) in the coming year — A list which eventually finds itself, in most cases. at Dhapa near the E. M. Bypass.

Why exactly do we make resolutions? The most plausible answer to this trillion dollar question (what’s the value of a million dollars today? You got a change with the times, pal ! ) is the contagious yuletide spirit prevaling in everyone’s heart (reminds one of that great FM program, Love is in the Air) which incites us to turn over a new leaf, and indulge in a SIP-Self Improvement Project. And what better time to start with such an ouspicious task than the first day of the year !!! Consequently, people start making memorandums, remarkably similar in essence to the National Agenda for Governance, one may find on closer scrutiny-defining the chores which, in the next year, they will do or refrain from doing. A typical list of an average teenager may consist of such mundane promises as "No Bunking school, for clarifications; no late nights, no excess TV, no long hair (guys). No Short Clothes (gal). Being on a diet, joining a gym, studying seriously etc. etc. The more imaginative ones come up with better sounding versions, such as no late nights unless I bunk school the next day. But the motivation is same—trying to get rid of some habit(s) which are deplored by others, especially parents. In the current scenario, however, it is the adults who have mastered the art of making resolution, be it politicians proclaiming no more scams (what a joke!)’, ‘No corruption (ha!ha!) and ‘No pressurizing allies’ or Stalwarts of the Film Industry solemnly declaring ‘No publicity stunts, and ‘More meaningful movies’ (these people have an advantage.. they practise making resolutions all year through, and even get paid for No fair hwh’). Once this part of the excercise is over, there’s just a small problem left ..... sticking to these resolutions. Unfortunately, however, only a small fraction of people are actually successful in doing so (hats off to them!!). Whether the reason for failure is lack of seriousness or an overzealous effort to achieve the unachievable, the list suffers from a series of deletions, addition of specific ‘user friendly’ classes, and modifications, before being abandoned like an orphaned child. Which is very sad, and subjects the entire excercise to disrepute. So, next time make some meaningful, practical, achievable resolutions, to which you can live upto — and keep them.

In the meantime, you can adopt a favourite one of mine, which requires no effort, saves a lot of tension, and helps you enjoy the whole year —without breaking the promise you made to yourself. An inspired ad compaign for this one would be "A Resolution to End all Resolutions’. Just repeat this to yourself, "I hereby resolve that from today, I will not make any silly resolutions." Smart, isn’t it?