Little Dick Cockerill only played half a game for Linwood mighty 2nd XV .He played 40 minutes then complaining of "a sore tummy" wanted to go back to the changing rooms. Linwood werent too bothered he was shite anyway and there were plenty of Wingers anyway. 40 miutes later when the teams went back to the "changing rooms" They seen dick with his hand in Boycies expensive looking What every's denims, rooting around looking for any cash . The whole team watched in disbelief as he went through 14 pairs of "slacks" theiving at least 7 pounds in cold hard cash. He then spied the Jackpot! Roddy Morrison's Trousers!! Bulging as usual at the pocket but before his sweaty wee hand could reach for the Prize the team barged in and begun Pummeling the theiving wee English Runt with blunt and sharp instruments bashing his head into the "odd" shape it is today. Dick was last seen running down the M74 south.

'Dick' is Welcome to return to Linwood!