Cigarette : A pinch of tobaco rolled in paper with
 fire at one end & a
 fool on the other.

 Etc. : A sign to make others believe , you know more
 than you actually do.

 Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day
 internationals are more popular than a five day test
 .

 Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
 his
 bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

 Divorce : Future tense of marriage
 Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
 straight.

 Optimist : A person who while falling from Eifel
 tower
 says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

 Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last
 letter in ZERO , instead of the first letter in word
 OPPORTUNITY.

 College : A place where some pursue learning and
 others learn pursuing.

 Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
 rich.

 Lecture : An art of transferring information from
 the
 notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students
 without passing
 through "the minds of either".

 Opportunists : One who starts having a bath when
 he/she accindently
 falls in a river ...

 Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
 the number present
 ......

 Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
 way that everybody
 beleives he got the biggest piece .

 Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
 will-power is defeated
 by feminine water-power ...

 Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
 marriage .
 Conference Room : A place where everybody talks ,
 nobody listens &
 everybody disagrees later on.

 Office : A place where you can relax after your
 sternous home life.

 Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
 feel a feeling you
 have never felt before.

 Committee : Individuals who can do nothing
 individually and sit to
 decide that nothing can be done together.

 Politician : One who shakes your hand before
 elections
 and your confidence after.

 Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
 such a way that you actually look forward to the
 trip.

 Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
 read.