What Do You Do

You doubt my love  How could this not be love?  No one I've ever met Makes me this angry Or makes me laugh so fully  No one has ever caused  So much joy or pain  All with the same event  It must be love Why else would my heart break? At the sound of your voice  At the look on your face  At a deed done  Why else would I want to be With you?  Why else would I have stayed Through all our trials How could this not be love? When we can't stay apart How could this not?

I want to walk hand in hand With someone who cares for me I want to wake each day With his arms holding me tight Knowing that I mean something to him Would be a dream come true I want my boys to See me happy and the way a family Should be I want forever in a promise That is kept I want to love someone Wholeheartedly, without reservation or fear I want the dream We all had as kids I want to be loved

 
 
 

To my grandmother whom I miss very, very much.  She always knew how to show me the way, even when I was blind to it.

 
 

You Cheat ~ You Lie ~ You Lose Angry words, a fight most foul  A deed done in the dead of night  Remorse and tears  Panic, lose heart, lose faith  Trust shattered, lives broken Love lost

You Do Not Love Me Words spoken Meanings untrue You play a game with me One I won't win Why do you do it Why not let me go

 
 

It takes only a moment  To send a card  A moment more  To compose an email  Yet my inbox is empty  Messages not sent are messages  Not received  And the small things  That would make a difference A message on voice mail A flower just because  That lets me know I'm thought of And cared for Remain undone  The small things I once did  No longer done  Letters left unopened   Cards left unread Feelings left unexpressed Slowly die Small things that show respect Show feelings Left undone

Words written Feelings expressed Carefully folded For lover's eyes Left unsent. Ears stopped listening Hearts stopped reaching Mind operates under false beliefs Two hearts once as one Become two And drift away On words left unspoken Lives made with other's dreams Letters left unsent Feelings left unsaid Love left alone to die

Once I could tell you anything
Talk things out with you
And trust
That my feelings were
Respected
With each passing day
Each one sided conversation
I find that
Your respect for me has faded
And I keep more and more inside
To where
You wouldn't recognize me
I am not one to be cagey and closed
To cut off what I feel
But you will not talk to me
And I can not share
When there is no trust
You use it against me
When it suits you
And keep yourself
Closed and alone
With each passing day
Each unanswered question
I move a bit more away
Looking for   someone
Who will communicate with me
Who loves me
Who will love me

I keep thinking
That if I say it long enough
Or loud enough
Or enough times
Then when you don't follow through
Or fail to say
What I need to hear
Then I won't be surprised
And I won't be hurt
I don't know why
I continue to try
Because I already know
That you really don't love me
No matter how many times
I tell myself
Or how many times I hear it
I still get crushed
And you still hurt me
And my tears still fall
And you do not care

 

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I trusted you with my shattered heart
With the secret hurts that keep me awake
I opened my life, my world to you
Because I was determined not to make
The mistakes from the past
I wanted this to be different from before
Not frightened of you, only of staying because
I was afraid of being alone
But different
Not here because I had to be
Not holding myself back so that
I could walk away when I wanted
I gave myself to you and you in turn
Used me
You took my gifts and you thought they were
What they were not
You made them something I never meant them to be
In your heart, you know there is no doubt
About my love for you I held
You only needed an excuse
To justify the things you do
You used me when I gave
Myself to you.

 

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