Stupid E-Book

For those of you who knew me at good ole' Fort Lauderdale High School you might have heard of the Stupid Book.  For those of you who didn't know me then, the Stupid Book was a collection of stupid things that people have said.  Although I cannot put the original entries on here because I lost the book, I will put up any new ones that might come across from this point on.

Without further anticipation, here are the future idiots of our society.  Congratulations.

Question:      If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer:        "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

--Spoken wisely by Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--God bless Mariah Carey

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

--David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

--Winston Bennett, Univ. of KY basketball forward.  One step closer to proving UF's superiority!

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--How's the potatoe crop Dan Quayle?

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Another intelligent conversation with good ole' Danny Quayle!