Classifieds

 I was wondering, if the Backstreet Boys were to put out an ad in the classifieds what would they say? This is my interpretation.

Nick:

Must be good cook and enjoy hours and hours of Nintendo.  Doesn't mind periods of spacing-out and sputtering of sentence fragments.  

Kevin:

Must be slow-speaking and wise beyond your years.  Won't fall asleep when I talk to you.  Doesn't think that Nick Carter is "cute". 

AJ:

Must have large breasts and low IQ.  Enjoys dancing, smoking, and rubbing my butt.  Doesn't mind sharing make-up, clothes, and hair products.  Cannot hump better than me.

Brian:

Sweet, Bible-reading saint with large boobs.  Must love dogs and long talks about God.  Willing to spend every waking moment with me.

Howie:

Has a good sense of humor, but won't pick on me.  Loves to cha-cha to ANY song.   Doesn't mind large grease spots on the pillow.  Must love a man who LOVES to wink!