The Six Basic Types of Chain Letters

Chain Letter Type 1:

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Make a wish!!!


















Really, go on and make one!!!
















Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!











Wish something else!!!















Not that, you moron!!!




























Something else! Quick!!!


































Is your finger getting tired yet?










STOP!!!!


Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel

guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to

5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a mad

goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. it's

true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake

ones, THIS one is TRUE!!


Really!!! Here's how it goes:


*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending

them a stupid chain letter.


*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending

them a stupid chain letter.


*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a

stupid chain letter.


*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a

stupid chain letter.


*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for

sending them a stupid chain letter.


Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!




Chain Letter Type 2:


Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.You see, there is a

starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no

legs, no head, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life

could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar

will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Headless

Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no

way of counting letters sent and this is all rubbish. So go on, reach

out, send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a

reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will

die instantly.


Thanks again!!




Chain Letter Type 3:


Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This

is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and

probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.


So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next

7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:


Stupid Horror Story #1


Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had

recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a

crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a

drainpipe in a flood of raw sewage, and went flying out over a

waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

This Could Happen To You!!!


Stupid Horror Story #2


Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and

ignored it.Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his

girlfriend. They both died.Their families were so upset that anyone

even remotely related to them (even by marriage) went crazy and

spent the rest of their miserable lives in an institution.

This Could Happen To You!!!


Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send

this letter to all of your friends, and everything will be OK.






Chain Letter Type 4:


This e-mail is wicked - cool! It was started by Microsoft to test

its e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big high-tech

company like Microsoft always sends important new software out over

the internet to be available to any moron who can operate a

computer, right? Plus, they have formed a secret merger with Disney

Corp., who has agreed to give up millions of dollars in revenue by

giving everyone who reads this e-mail, passes it on, looks at it,

knows someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is a

friend of someone who looks at it A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to

Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney! So pass this on to everyone

you know that is gullible enough to believe this (or not)! Even if

it's not true, hey - insulting all of your friends by implying that

they are gullible by sending this to them is worth the improbable

chance that you could go to Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your

friends because they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from

you, it's worth the chance, right? And just for good measure, if

you don't send this on, Microsoft will send its specially trained

attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO

SEND IT ON!!!!!



Chain Letter Type 5:



VIRUS WARNING!!!


If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.


Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not

only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete

anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes

the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM

access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace

field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will

re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice

cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone

AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number. And so on and so

forth...


So be careful! Forward this to all of your friends, relatives,

neighbors, family, enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock brokers,

doctors, and any other acquaintances! It's for their own good!

Thank you.



Chain Letter Type 6:


Here is a cute picture I drew.


(\ /)

( \ / )

( \ / )

( /\ )

( / \/ \ )

/ __ \

( ( ) )

~~~~


It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it

will brighten their day like it did yours! If you don't,

demon-possessed goats will move into your house and eat all of your

socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong with your

washing machine because all of your socks keep disappearing.

Have a nice day!!!




Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter,

ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's

gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the goatless boy from

Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended

up in a waterfall of raw sewage) just delete it.