Hardy Home Inspection Report

Inspection #1 (Foundation)
The foundation around the front of the Hardy home appears to have been damaged severely by fire. We found five used grenade shells under the soil. The foundation well have to be jacked up and repaired before anybody can use the house as a permanent residents.
Inspection #2 (Roof)
The roof of the Hardy Home is composed mainly of old rusted tin, and cardboard. These crude materials are unsafe, unsanitary, and do not pass the Home Inspection Report. A new roof well have to be installed.
Inspection #3 (Sewage)
The only toilet found in the Hardy Home was a old coffee can where a sanitary toilet should have been placed. It appears that the Hardys used a large thick stick to push there waste down through the coffee can and through the sewer line. We found this to be severely unsanitary, and a modern sewage system is scheduled to be installed in a week.
Inspection #4 (Bedrooms)
The first bedroom we entered appeared to be a child's room. A small crude bed constructed of low quality cardboard and masking tape was laying up against the wall to the right off the door. The room had never been painted, and was stained with permanent marker. We removed the bed from its place by the wall, and found that it was concealing a large hole in the wall, which appeared to have been made by some form of explosive. The name "Frank's room" was scrawled by the hole in red crayon. This room would have to be painted, have new carpet installed, have the hole patched, and new windows put in it for they were cracked.
(Room two)
The second bedroom also appeared to be a child's room, and was in a worse state then the first. There was no bed, but there were five 8 inch holes in the wall to the left, and the wood floors had severe burns in them, as if someone a snubbed a cigarette or cigar into them. This room had no glass windows, just cardboard taped over where glass should have been. Someone had attempted to paint this room, but with a lime green spray paint. The name "Joe" was scrawled across the right wall in blue spray paint. This room would need carpet, new dry-wall installed and a new paint job, new windows, and a new light fixture installed for the old one had been ripped out.
(Room 3)
Bedroom number three was a surprise for are Inspection team. It was the master bedroom of the home. It obviously needed a new paint job, the current paint is a neon pink spray paint, and the names "Fenton and Laura" were crudely painted above the bedroom door. The light fixture had one 50 watt bulb in it, and had not been covered. The closet door had been ripped off its hinges. Two unmatched curtains hung in the mud covered window that faced outfront. The bright green carpet that was laid down did not fit right in the room, and it rode the wall for about a foot to the left of the bedroom. The bedroom slanted about 40 degrees to the right, but this was obviously connected with the crude foundation of the home. This room would need a new light fixture, new paint, a new closet door, new windows, and new carpet.
(Room 4)
This room appeared to have belonged to an old women. It was painted bright orange with purple stripes spray painted down the walls. A large ash tray lay in the corner of the room, and it was full of cigarette ashes. A crude plastic cot lay in the right corner of the room, it was made with a Barney blanket. The name "Gertrude" was scrawled inside the unfinished closet with a pencil. The light fixture contained one black light bulb, a strange choice for what appeared to be an old woman's room. This room would need a new paint job, new windows, new dry wall in the closet, new carpet for it was severely stained, and deodorized for it smelled awfully of smoke.
Inspection #5 (Restroom)
There is only one restroom in the Hardy home, and it lacks a proper toilet. A small green coffee can is mounted where a normal toilet should be placed. A large cattle drinking trough is where a bathtub should be, the Hardys must have used it for bathing, and the sinks are paint cans. This crude setup was obviously used by the family, how I don't know. Inplace of a tile floor lies cardboard and newspaper, a poor choice for a restroom. The walls are spray painted a dark drab gray. This restroom would need a new bathtub unless its occupants are cows, new sinks, new paint, new toilet, and new flooring.
On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, I would rate the Hardy Home at:
Foundation: 0.
Roof: 0.
Sewage: 0.
Bedrooms: 0.
Restrooms. 0.
Total score: 0. Home Value: $500

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