PEAK PERFORMANCE
By: Al Cooper, Ph.D.
"When Do Men and Women Reach Their Sexual Peaks?"
Traditionally, research has found that women average about one orgasm per
week throughout their adult life and do not have any significant sexual
peak. However, it is interesting to note that some research shows that
younger women have a higher frequency of sexual dysfunction, which
decreases with time. As they age, many women learn how to be more
comfortable with their sexuality and are able to guide their partners in
a way that works better for them.
Men, on the other hand, have their highest frequency of orgasms (often
with no help from anyone else) between ages 16 and 17. After that, there
is a gradual decline that continues throughout the life span. Many
factors influence these figures, including religious beliefs, work
schedules and the 24-hour job of being a parent.
But keep in mind that while many folks are afraid of not being at least
"average," averages only truly exist in statistics and our imaginations.
For you or the person next to you, many factors influence sexual peak.
Your biology is only one dimension and probably not the most important
one. Clearly, a key factor is whether you are even in a sexual
relationship and, if so, the quality of that relationship. Despite the
jokes, you may be surprised to learn that married people have more sex
than single people do. This is because a.) they have a regular partner
and b.) practice makes perfect.
It also is important to remember that sexual encounters are a special
form of communication. If two people can express what feels good and
bad, what they want and do not want, the sex tends to be good. Needless
to say, good sex makes for more sex. Biology makes little difference
when partners are sleeping in separate beds.
Another question that unfolds is whether more sex means better sex.
Quality may be more important than quantity when assessing your sex life.
While biology may prime the body to have more orgasms during earlier
years, our sense of self and the capacity to deeply know and love another
person dramatically impact each sexual experience, even if quantity does
not keep up. Think of this as our "emotional peak" and you can see how
your question changes.
As we live longer, we are having sex later and people are finding it to
be darn good! Often with age there is an increased ability to use all of
the senses during lovemaking. Instead of rushing sex to orgasm, couples
learn to stroll over each others bodies, taking time to enjoy the
process. There is an increased appreciation for what the partner enjoys.
One of the nice parts about considering emotional peaks is that while
biology may seem predetermined and largely out of our control (despite
exercise, vitamins and new medications), there is much more control over
how we experience sex.
So your question is both simple and complex. If you want numbers,
averages or what is "normal," consider why. Numbers blur individual
differences and say little about you. Ultimately, you need to figure out
what turns on you and your partner. Then make you next sexual encounter
the time that you reach a new sexual peak!
