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SURVIVAL KITS
Page 9
Bike Rider Survival Kit
First Aid Kit - For All wounds during bike ride
Kleenex - For the tears of joy at the finish line
Comb - Keep that hair in style
Flashlight - Light up your life
Cotton Balls - Cushion the blows
Eyedrops - Keeps the eyes fresh
Erasers - Erases the pain
Lip Chap - No cracked lips
Bubble Bath - Soak those tired muscles
Cologne - Remove the odor of sweat
Sweat Bands - Keep the sweat out of your eyes
Sun Blocker - NO sunburn
Moist Towelette - Keep cool
Compass - Never be lost, stay on track
Anti fog for glasses
Bus Driver Survival Kit
Tootsie roll - so you can "roll" down the highway
Sponge - to soak up the rain, so you don't have to drive in it
Mounds - for the mounds of miles that you drive
Marbles - to replace the ones you've lost
Gem - to remind you that you are carrying precious cargo
Aspirin - take two every day
Cotton Ball - to cushion those rough roads
Rubberbands - for when your patience is stretched
Tums - for all the nervous stomachs
Mirror - to remind you how important you are.
Doctor's Survival Kit
$100 Grand Bar- incase some patients can't pay their bill
Butterfingers-so you never have a case of your own
Gum-use this to get out of "sticky" situations
Starburst-Chew when you have been on call too long and you need a quick "burst of energy
Plastic Maze-This will remind you that you are truly "amazing"
Fireball- For the times you feel completely "burned out"
Rubberband-For when your "patients" are being stretched
Snickers- After all--Laughter is the best medicine
Tylenol-take 2 and call me in the morning
Lifesaver-To remind you that you are a real lifesaver
Tissue-for drying tears
Coke-Caffeine, Caffeine, CAFFEINE
Pacifier-For emergencies (when you need to pacify those that are unhappy)
Everyday Life Survival Kit
Toothpick: Pick the good qualities in everyone including yourself.
Rubberband: Be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want.
Band-Aid: To heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.
Eraser: Everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our mistakes.
Candy Kiss: Everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.
Mint: You are worth a mint to your family and friends.
Bubble Gum: Stick with it and you can accomplish anything.
Pencil: List your blessings every day.
Tea bag: Relax daily and go over your list of blessings
Father of the Bride
1. One pound of $1,000 bills. When the wedding is through and the bills arrive, you will need every last one! (Unfortunately, these were not real.)
2. Receipt book--There are 32 receipts in the book. I can assure you that these will not be enough, but it's a start. Good luck!
3. Aspirin. This may look like a big bottle, but no bottle could be big enough.
4. Post-its. Your wife and daughter will come up with so many ideas, suggestions, demands, orders, etc., that you'll use up this book of 100 post-its by tomorrow afternoon.
5. Kleenex. No, these aren't for the moment when you hand your daughter over to the groom. They are to absorb your tears as the money flows out the door.
6. Imodium AD--It's true--you aren't just losing a daughter. You are also losing your money, sleep, patience, golf game, and more.
7. Olives. Martinis will help get you through.
8. Matches. When the arguments and discussions about the reception, flowers, dinner, wine, hard liqueur, band, etc., become overwhelming, you have my permission to "torch the hall."
9. Ear Plugs. To help you retain your sanity.
10. A "Show Me The Money" desk plaque. Yes, it's just a plaque to set on your desk, but it sends the right message!
Do your best to hang in! Time flies when you're having fun!
Fireman's Survival Kit
Lifesaver - to remind you that that's what you are
Piece of string - for when you get to the end of your rope
Silk Rose - to help you always smell sweet
Hugs & Kisses - because you deserve them from all
Jewel - because you are as valuable as a precious stone
Tissues - to wipe the tears of joy and sadness
Mounds Bar - for the mounds of courage you need
Starburst - for that "Burst" of energy that you need
Star - to remind you that you are a star in the eyes of children
A Smile - to replace the ones you give away
Mints - to help you cool down after a fire
Band-Aid - in case you need some TLC
Almond Joy - to replace the joy you give to others
Mother of the Bride
A mint for sweet breath
A safety pin to hold her nerves together
A candy bar or chocolate truffle with the words
"when the sweetness of this day is gone, may the memories linger on and on"
A pack of kleenex for when the tears start coming
A mirror to check her mascara
A mini bottle of champagne so she can celebrate when she gets home (after the happy couple has left)
A note pad and pen for last minute thoughts
HIGH SCHOOL SURVIVAL KIT
A lollipop - to help you lick your problems
Tissues - to wipe your eyes after sleeping during class
A sponge - to soak up knowledge
Tootsie Roll - to help you roll with the punches
An eraser - so each day you can start with a clean slate
paper clip - to hold everything together
pencil - to "write your wrongs"
candle - when you're up late studying
piece of string - to help you tie up loose ends
pack of gum - to remind you to "stick" together as a class
Mounds bar - for the information you'll learn
Cotton ball - for when you can't hear yourself think
Band-Aid - to heal hurt feelings
button - to remind you that sometimes you have to "button your lip"
penny - so you have enough "cents" to realize what a valuable person you are
safety pin - for little emergencies
starburst - to remind you that you are always a "star" in my book
hugs and kisses - to remind you that you are loved
Hurricane Survival Kit
Radio Batteries - to keep up-to-date on the world around you
Pencil & Paper - to make up for not being able to use the puter
Band-aids - for the boo-boos you'll get when cleaning all that debris
Lifesaver - because you are one to the cat that's stuck in the tree
Marble - to replace the MANY that you'll lose in the wind
Glitter - to remind you to look on the bright side
A Match - to light a fire when you're cold
A String - to tie things together when everything falls apart, literally!
Tylenol - for the headache you'll have when you see the mess you'll have to clean up!
Candle - to light your way in the dark night
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