Why hello there people, and welcome to the little world simply called 'Halo's first GamingX article'. Before I think of starting what will be a huge rebellion against half-wit Nick Ashby I would like to thank Ragey for passing me this offer, and to thank Jimmy Eat World for the great music their album is providing me at the current time, and thank especially Nick Ashby for the inspiration for this article. So, get them Shock Rifles and MDF's, in case Nick over there gets out of hand.
Shooting and Running? Go away cheese man …
The first point to argue: the shooting and the running. What Old Nick (No, not THAT Old Nick - Ed) has just decided to point out, is that FPS can be summarised as just 'shooting, running, or a mixture of both'. At some points, this can be true. But, naive little FPS foreigners, what this fellow says are mostly lies. It is true, at some points, people will do the running and shooting combo, which is actually most necessary in most single player modes in the FPS realm. To stand still, is to be a sitting duck, and a large brightly painted target waiting for the slaughter. Nick, as well as this, could have been suggesting that this sort of play isn't 'fun'. From this, I ask Nick if he has ever played FPS multiplayer, and 'whooped'. The feeling you get when you whoop is what many would call very, very fun indeed. The adrenaline you get flowing through your veins when playing, for example 'Unreal Tournament (Game of the Year)', can be extraordinary. Running your arse up to the enemy base, in CTF, slaughtering your rival team with your shock rifle, and waiting for them to re-spawn for another round of slaughtering is exceedingly fun - whilst listening to your favourite collection of Heavy/Death Metal mp3's. I say to all you non-FPS playing people to buy Unreal Tournament and get your arse a good connection … and prove Nick wrong.
What Now?
'Next!' I call. Next, is of course is his insulting, and almost completely untrue caricature of people who play FPS. 'Hairy upper lip' he says, 'bulbous frame' he comments. Oh dear no, what you have is most probably a description of Nick's mother. Immature, I know, but every time I say it in my head it sounds better. I have played on computers near all my life, and have found much enjoyment in the FPS world, and have yet to see myself grow a moustache, wear check shirts and found stuffing large fatty bars into my mouth whilst screaming '0wn3d' or 'wh00ped'. But the fact that he disagrees with the screaming of 'I r th3 @lph4 & th3 0m3g4' is simply something that he does not understand. If you have the highest score, in a full up server, you simply cannot help screaming out 'owned' (in those large letters, otherwise known as "leet speak"). Say if you just blew one of the best players in the server, who has been bashing you all match, would you not just feel a bit like showing it off? Plus, it's all part of the fun, old 'Cheese'. Go play some Unreal Tournament online; you might just see what I mean (god forbid).
Conclusion
Nick Ashby or 'Cheesegod' is completely wrong. Sorted.
I thank you all,
(Halo^)