Having cornered the western world's supply of peroxide the boys from Norvan were clearly expecting an easy stroll around the beautifully manicured gravel at Heywood North.. how mistaken they were.

Oh, what might have been. Three inches were what separated Mark Docherty from elation, and no, we're not talking about his weekend tryst to Vegas with Russ. Rather the goalpost his stunning free kick clattered off and cruelly rebounded out, leaving Coveside to ponder what could have been after their second 1-0 loss in a row, this time to Division One leaders Norvan.

Injury troubles wobbled Coveside again with the usuals out of the lineup, but the team welcomed Karim Ismail back, injured mustache sufficiently healed, as the lads took on the Coaches League frontrunners on a glorious day on a sandy pitch at Heywood South. Spurred on by the fighting words of manager Bernie Ward, who encouraged us to thump the Norvan forwards while he sat safely on the sideline, Coveside was ready.

In sharp contrast to the miserable conditions the week before, Coveside trotted out onto a sunny field with a new formation, five at the back, in preparation for a Norvan onslaught.
It never arrived though, as CUFC fought tooth and nail in a surprisingly even game that could have gone either way. Right from the start the new format fit comfortably as Coveside had the bulk of the play. Strong running from Craig Larson, Jason Fisher and Paul Kellor up front gave CUFC the better chances right off the bat. Meanwhile strong defending on the backline
saw few chances for the Norvanites.

After several long range shots, Larson generated an up-close chance, a great through ball was put past the defender, who came in hard. Larson jumped to get out of the way but was submarined, and came down hard on his head. Inexplicably, instead of a penalty an "obstruction" foul was given and CUFC had an indirect free kick. Karim tapped it to Doc, who's blast beat a six-man wall, then the goalie and rang off the post. The rebound flew out to Sean Bartlett who had no time to gather, and the ball bounced off his foot and over the top of the net.

Undeterred, Coveside fought on and had several other good chances. At the back pressure came but sure sweeping by Al Roberts and some fearless defending from Randy Ash kept the score at nils. The Coveside pressure was starting to work and Norvan, clearly frustrated, started arguing about which brand of peroxide gives them the better "N Synch" look.

Going into the half knotted at zero would have clearly given Coveside an edge, but tragically with about 10 minutes to go until half, a seemingly harmless tackle out wide near the edge of the box saw a Norvan forward dive over the leg of Roberts. Shockingly, the referee, Reg Varney, awarded a penalty after scoffing at one for a much worse infraction when Larson was
brought down earlier. Norvan missed the penalty, but appeared to be moving too early into the box, and were in clean for the rebound which they hammered into the empty net to
go up 1-0.

As continues to be a problem after conceding a goal, Coveside suffered a bit of a let down and were on their heels for the rest of the half. At the break everyone regrouped with some strong support from the depleted Coffee Club (which was still missing charter members Rob Cenedese, Ian Powell and now Ryan Matches and Rob Paul as well), and started strong in the second half. Fisher had some solid runs up the wing with great support from Doc, and Norvan nervously plugged the back with as many men as they could fit in the box. Coveside had some nervous moments as a free kick conceded on the edge of the box split the wall and almost found the far corner, but on the whole the defence swallowed up every chance like Bernie with his final pint at last call.
 

Picture of Norvan Forward

The Coveside goalie foolishly took a yellow card after retaliating in Robbie Keane-like fashion after being horsecollared by a Norvan forward after a free kick was given. The big clown (not the goalie, the other one) went down like Russ in the Gimp Suite at the Excalibur, but really bashed his head on the sand. Luckily Reg Varney was the ref and not If Yer Don't Eat Yer Meat, Ya Cannae Have Any Puddin' who would have surely brandished a red.

Instead the goalie was let off with a yellow and will gladly pay the fine to the team fund, which will now rely on raffles, chocolate almond sales, bottle drives and busking (Al will be doing Rolling Stones lip synchs at Lonsdale Quay from 6-7 p.m. on Fridays) to help keep Bernie's mortgage payments up, oops I mean pay for refs until the end of the year.

Harpie stood tall when he was poleaxed from behind by a Norvan behemoth, but  took one for the team and stayed in.  Some furious chances around the goalmouth failed to pay off, the best one falling to Paul Kellor who looked to be in clean but was wrong footed and just couldn't get to the ball in time.

The final whistle went and while CUFC can't be happy with losing their second in a row, the effort was there and we were unlucky not at least get a point.

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