Ward started things off giving the lads a stern warning before the game, "this is the kind of game where you can get caught sleeping and they'll kick you right in the nuts. They won't go down easy." Apparently Coveside thought Bernie was talking about his Saturday night routine on the couch with Vanessa, and came out a bit flat.

Before kickoff, referee If Ya Don't Eat Yer Meat, Ya Cannae Have Any Puddin' (heretofor known as IYDEYMYCHAP) gave both teams a stern scolding over poor language. Because of the field's proximity to a place of worship, and recent complaints about loud screams about rectal coitus, both teams were on notice to keep their foul mouths to themselves. It was learned that anyone who did swear would give up an indirect free kick, get a yellow card, have to write 500 lines (Celtic are a serious club, honest, Celtic are a serious club, honest, Celtic are a serious club, honest, Celtic are a serious club, honest...) as well as having to attend a slide show at IYDEYMYCHAP's house on his trip to a sheep farm just south of Dunfermline in 1965. Three offenders were found, two from Lupo and our poor Mark Docherty, who uncharacteristically, dropped a nuclear F-bomb after shockingly giving the ball away. On the bright side, Mark is apparently looking forward to the slide show.

The game Luponians were content to try to flummox the CUFC defence with long balls over the top, but the back line dealt with most of it admirably. Russell Hennessey did his best work on his knees (as usual), clearing away a couple of dangerous balls with his head (keep your punchlines to yourself) after losing his footing on the greasy field. Randy Ash also continued to fit in at the back in his second game playing a powerful game in defence and moving the ball nicely up the field. The first half yielded few chances for either team as defence was the word of the day. Harp Dhaliwal got off several of his goal-saving slide tackles before the shot could find its way to goal, and the midfield work rate was admirable coming back to pick up, once more especially from new signing Andy Dudley who continues to shine, and Sean Bartlett who's physical work is a much needed tonic for Coveside. A good long-range shot from Doc just missed the net, and Ryan Matches floated a long high one toward the goal that almost snaked its way into the top corner. With the score 0-0 at the break, the boys awaited words of wisdom from the manager, but then realizing none were forthcoming, just trotted back out for the last 45. More solid chances came in the second half with some good service up front coming from Paul Kellor, Dave Woods and Doc. Some solid work up the right saw Coveside get the only break they would need, as Randy Ash played a nice ball to Woods who sent Craig Larson in semi-clear, on the dirt of the baseball diamond. Larson's leg was cocked ready to shoot when he was brutally brought down thanks to a careless challenge that was lucky to draw only a yellow card. After Larson was helped off the field for treatment (cigarette), Botham calmly stepped up to the spot and drilled home the spot kick to move his game-winning goal total up to ... one.

Several scrambles ensued at both ends of the pitch after Coveside took the lead, and had we been playing on an all-grass field Jason Fisher would have surely made it 2-0 after a sterling run that beat the defence and the goalie, but a bad hop on the dirt cheated him of filling the empty net. After Russ went out with the inevitable leg injury (he's becoming our own Darren Anderton), Kellor filled in admirably at the back in central defence, making several sure tackles and being solid in the air.

There was time for one more brutal challenge though, as Doc had both legs treated to a Blueridge-like challenge, only he got up (he must be tougher than our other Scot), and sadly, no card was given for the hack. If he had sworn while he did though, och-aye, the wrath of Robbie Burns would have reigned down like an oatmeal storm! The game was over, 1-0, and CUFC with their 5-0 record still in tact were treated to more Fergusonian wisdom from Ward. "You see, I told you it was the kind of game you'd get caught sleeping and get outplayed," he chided after the game before adding, "neh, neh, na-neh, neh" and putting his hands to his head like moose antlers whilst sticking his tongue out. It's that kind of managerial brilliance the club will be looking for the next three weeks as Coveside have a Div. 2 first-place showdown with unbeaten Malones up next, followed by first division clashes with Norvan and Freybe.

Man of the Match
A three-pronged effort, Bryn for his spot on spot kick; Docherty for his hard work in defence and skill moving forward; and Larson for drawing the penalty and other fine runs.

Game notes
Founding members of the Coffee Club Rob Cenedese and Ian Powell are in danger of having their charter memberships stripped after missing the game when the team needs them most. Come on lads, if you keep this no-show attitude up, we'll take your names down off the Starbucks wall. You even missed Bryn's gift of a full urn of Seattle's Best Coffee for the legions on the sideline (no one brought hot cocoa for Sunny though).

Picture Gallery