Outworked, out hustled and outplayed Coveside were lucky to sneak a 1-0 win on Sunday, but still they got the three points that clinched a promotion to Division One next season.

It's clear Coveside have a lot of work to do in the offseason to avoid being beaten weekly like Brad in the washroom with a new copy of Hustler. The team was depleted from the start, Andy Dudley, Paul Kellor and Dave Woods were all injured, while Karim Ismail and Russ Hennessey were felled by the stomach flu. Bernie had thought about playing, but reported that he "cracked a rib vomiting from the flu".

At this point we'll run a little contest: Why did Bernie really crack a rib? A.) He finally returned all his empties. B.) His son punched him in the stomach. C.) He fell off the log. D.) He passed out behind the Queen's Cross on Friday night and Wayne from Lower Lonsdale United saw him there and just fancied a quick kick.

Regardless, Bernie was in fine form and and managed to drink using only his left hand, and from medical reports, we learned he vomited in fine form Sunday night without any further injuries.
Bernie decided to fashion the same 3-5-2 lineup that had such great results against Malones. He didn't however factor in that one of the three at the back, Al Roberts came to the game in rough shape. He'd been battling all night with his fellow firefighters, weak kneed from an effort that went into the wee hours of the morning. When the chips are down our firefighters really come through, and Al spent the night soaking wet, knee deep in liquid fighting to keep upright. Yes, he was playing poker until 3 a.m. and was still soused when he came to the field.

This had great results as his first three goal kicks bounced three times before they cleared the penalty area. After one quick break (of no one's leg I might add), as Blueridge lined up to take a corner, Al was doubled over, blurring the air with his breath, "those boys are fast" he said. Randy Ash was there to cover though and cleaned up several good chances, as did Harp Dhaliwal coming back from the mids to steal and distribute forward. The only ones playing with any intensity were Jason Fisher, and Sean Bartlett, the rest of the lads looked like the field was still knee-deep in Snow.

After coming close on two corners, Blueridge won a dangerous free kick about 30-yards out. The scrubber lined up to take the kick as the men waited anxiously along the 18, the kick came, and shanked 40 yards out to the left for a thrown-in after killing a bird 30-feet up in a tree. Not to be out-done by the squib of the year, Harpie made a deft tackle, a swishy turn using the sole of his boot and slotted a brilliant ball through to Randy Johal  who was in the clear from about 35 yards out. Randy made a slashing run towards goal, only to be distracted by a bright shiny object against the backstop, he punted the ball straight at it, goal kick.

Brad Chapman also had a good chance about 10 yards out but just saw it sail over the bar.
Coveside though were largely being dragged into a game of kick and run, and seeing as our lads could barely kick, let alone run, the first half was amongst the most forgettable in Coveside history. Bernie muttered that we were pathetic at halftime and opened another beer.

The second half went mostly the same as the first, scramble back to get a loose ball, turn and kick it long for Craig or Jason. Things almost turned dodgy a couple of times, Harp got cross cut and as he tried to stay on his feet he got a two-footed lunge at his goolies courtesy of the falling Blueridge player, and several times we heard a "take out their keeper" or "kill the keeper" from the sidelines.

After a completely uneventful second half, Blueridge got their second yellow of the game (the first was for swearing) when hard work by Craig down the left wing was ruined when he was crunched by a late tackle that took out his ankle. The ensuing free kick was taken by Doc, who swiftly picked out a wide open Jason Fisher making a stellar run into the box at the far post, Jason got a head on it, and powered it into the side of the net, 1-0 with about five minutes to go.

 
After the game the Blueridge manager refused to shake hands with Coveside (poor guy, he's upset that he's taken some stick, I mean all he did was break someone's leg), whilst others who shook hands saw fit to use it as an opportunity to curse at us all in person. Still, despite the flaccid showing, it was the three points we needed for promotion, and summer season is almost upon us.

Well done lads.

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